Chapter 9

One day the photographer showed us the new photos he had taken for us. We were looking at each other's photos, giving (mostly nonsense) comments.

"Teru's really a beauty, agree? Look at this!"
Takuro laughed as he took one of my photos and showed it to everyone around the table.

My heart lost a sudden beat when I saw Takuro passed the photo to Hisashi. I lowered my head immediately, trying to concentrate the pile of photos in my hands, but in the end I had no idea what I was looking at.

"Sure he is... Even though he cut his hair, he's still a beauty."

No one noticed the meaning behind the words of Hisashi's except me. Perhaps Takuro and Jiro had forgotten what they saw a year ago, or perhaps they didn't expect Hisashi was still setting his eyes on me. So did I.
I looked up in shock, and noticed he was looking at me as well. I saw a smile on his face. A smile which didn't allow anyone to read his mind.

I pretended that I didn't know what he was talking about and discussed about another photo with other guys. I was talking and laughing, showing no sign of embarrassment or displeasure. Thank god I could act a little. Somehow I couldn't stop myself from shunning him. I had to admit I was afraid of that smile of his. The teasing and arrogant smirk, which you couldn't guess his thoughts from, and what he was going to do next...

~

"Huh? You serious??"
"Yep..."
"But why all of a sudden..."
"Just... Change. I want a style that no one would describe me as a 'beauty'."

My stylist looked at me in disbelief. I understood why. One year ago I was still having chest-length hair, doing feminine poses. And also it was a weird description that I had given him.

But finally I convinced him. An hour later I was the one gazing at the mirror in disbelief. The heavy make-up was gone, I was wearing a complete set of suit for the very first time in my life, and most of all, my hair was in a style I had never expected it would happen on my own head. You're right. It was the hair style you saw in BEAT out! Tours and the one I brought with me to Iceland - a men's hairstyle.

I smiled satisfactorily in front of the full-length mirror. I know it's very arrogant, but I the truth was that I never knew I could be as handsome as what I saw that time.

The guys were shocked again. I remember how DIE choked himself with Coke. But they said I looked terrific. I was glad. Standing there and allowing the guys observe me like a zoo animal, I anxiously waited for Hisashi's comments.

Soon, Hisashi came. His eyes widened at the very first sight of my new image. I smirked to myself. Very confident at myself at that time, I asked him what he thought of it.

He stared quietly at me, like what he did the time I showed him my tinted hair. I thought from his expression that I defeated him finally. Yet instead of what I expected, he smiled.

"You look terrific, Teru. Everyone would love it."

He said and left me standing at the door alone. I told myself the words didn't mean anything, but I couldn't stop the defeated feeling in me. I didn't understand... Why no matter what I do, I couldn't get him out of my life...?

Suffocated in all complicated feelings and unexpected events, I wished my destiny left me a narrow gap of blue sky to breathe. I believed the only way to fight for it, was to defeat the one who brought all these to me - Hisashi Tonomura...

~to be continued~
 

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