H.-Drowning in the Deep End

Drowning in the Deep End

by H.

Pairing: DiexKaoru, KyoxToshiya, ShinyaxYoshiki
Rated: NC-17
Genre: Drama, mildly angsty


"Where IS he??" The blue haired man pouted as he leaned his
against his koi's shoulder. The "usual" place was not
crowded that evening, seeing as the two lovers managed to lay claim 
to a secluded and coveted corner booth. 

Kyo's other shoulder was pressed to his mobile phone as he
to call the red headed guitarist…again. "Fuck! Still no
He sighed collapsing his phone and stowing it away. He placed a 
provocative hand upon the blue haired man's thigh and began to
slowly, teasing his way closer and closer to his love's hardening 

"Mmmm….." Toshiya purred into the vocalist's neck as
he began to 
nuzzle it sensually. He turned his head so his lips played upon the 
smooth flesh, running his tongue up and down the expanse, blowing 
warm air as he went, giggling as he felt Kyo's actions become

Kyo moaned as the bassist's tongue found its way to his earlobe, 
gently swirling before biting and tugging lightly. The vocalist 
smiled devilishly as he continued his arousing ministrations, he 
heard his lover gasp as his hand finally reached its destination, 
grabbing roughly at the other man's straining erection.

"Ahh…Kyo…" Toshiya sighed while bringing his hand up to
the blonde 
man's chest, toying with a nipple through the smooth silk shirt
as he 
began to move his hips against the other man's hand. "Know
what I'm 
thinking right now?" The blue haired man panted and he roughly 
twisted his love's nipple, causing the smaller man to cry out.

The smaller man nodded, "We give him 5 more minutes. Then were
home, Totchi." He stated as his nimble fingers began to undo the 
button on the bassist's jeans. The blue haired man leaned back
allow his lover discrete access to his aching desire. Lucky for them 
the low table and dim light managed to hide their actions from any 
would be voyeurs. 

The bassist threw his head back as he felt the zipper of his jeans 
being lowered at a tortuously slow pace. The smaller man seized the 
opportunity and began sucking roughly on the bassist's neck. 
know what I want to do Totchi?" Kyo asked, his hot breath on 
Toshiya's neck sending shivers down the taller man's spine.

"Mmm…No Kyo. What do you want to do?" Toshiya answered
as a slender hand descended into his jeans and began to tease his 
cock mercilessly. Toshiya gasped and whimpered, wriggling his hips 
to increase the glorious sensation.

Kyo laughed seductively, "I want to take you home, tie you up,
your tight little ass, and fuck you into next week, baby. Would you 
like that?" Kyo's one hand grasped his lover's cock,
sliding up and 
down the quaking shaft, while his free hand traveled downwards, and a 
slender finger gathered the milky fluid that had formed at the 
bassist's tip. "Look at me, Totchi." The vocalist

The blue haired man was trembling with desire as he lifted his head 
and raised his lust filled eyes to his lover, only to see Kyo's 
finger begin to come closer and closer to his own mouth. Running his 
fingernail over Toshiya's lips suggestively, the smaller man
his lover to part his lips.

"Lick it." The vocalist commanded, grinning in delight as
his finger 
was licked and sucked by the beautiful bishonen. His lips descended 
again upon his love's neck as he whispered, "See how good you
baby. I can't wait to get home and have you come into my mouth, 
screaming my name, begging for my cock, begging me to fuck you …
hard…" A small nip at the tender skin…"rough…" A lick
to sooth the 
crimson mark…"now." Kyo raised his head and grabbed
Toshiya's chin 
before crashing their lips together feverishly. The taller man 
moaned into his lover's mouth as his tongue sought the friction
the others. The vocalist bit down teasingly on his lip before 
ramming his tongue into the delicious depths, asserting dominance 
over his precious koi. 

Suddenly there was a jolt at the table. 

The two lovers froze in terror before simultaneously turning their 
heads to ascertain the cause of the rude interruption. What they saw 
was certainly not a pretty sight to behold.

"Oh my God, Die! Are you alright?" The blue haired man
nervously while continuing to gawk at the guitarist, who was now 
repeatedly beating his head roughly against the tabletop. 

"Die!" The vocalist screamed while grabbing hold of the
taller man's 
shoulders, trying desperately to shake some sense into him, as well 
as to avoid the guitarist from giving himself a concussion.

"I'm so fucking stupid! So god damn STUPID!" The red
head screamed, 
bringing his head up to face his band mates. Both Kyo and Toshiya 
could see the tell tale blood shot eyes and tear stains on their 
lovely guitarists face. 

"Oh, Die…" Kyo gathered the sobbing man into his arms gently
the bassist ran off to retrieve a drink and some tissues for their 
friend. Stroking his fingers gently through Die's red locks he 
quietly ventured, "Die-kun? Please…please tell us what's
the matter."


Kaoru had been frozen in the same position for the last hour. His 
trembling hand still held the now silent mobile phone as the tears 
continued to stream down his darkened features. He hadn't known 
what to do…what to do when that beautiful voice, so full of
had sweetly called his name. He couldn't think, he couldn't
all he did manage to do was pant for a few brief moments because of 
his then fading ecstasy before hanging up the phone and turning it 
off without another word. 

"DAMNIT!!!!!!!" He screamed as his thoughts gradually began
to stir 
his vacant body. Grabbing the half empty wine bottle he stood up and 
violently hurled the glass container against the wall, watching it 
shatter viciously as the remaining sanguine liquid bled down the 
ivory walls

…The one person who he loved, who he needed, who he'd die for
he had 
now managed to completely alienate with his careless actions. He 
hated himself, no more then that, he loathed and despised the very 
thought of his existence… 

"You FUCKING ASSHOLE!!" He screamed as he ran over to the
pieces lying strewn hazardously over the toffee carpet. 
GOD DAMN ASSHOLE, KAORU!!!" He screamed, throwing his head back
he began stomping on the shards with his bare feet, the unforgiving 
edges piercingly maliciously into the pale soles, as the sanguine 
liquid mixed and melded with the burgundy wine, seeping painfully 
into his abused flesh and the fibers of the carpet. Shrill cries 
pierced the chilled night air as the distraught man bent down to 
retrieve a particularly sharp piece of the translucent glass. 

"You don't deserve him! You fucking weak piece of shit! No
he's with Shinya. You disgust him!" He screamed at himself
as he 
brought the jagged edge to his chest, slicing the carmel flesh of his 
abdomen over and over until his strength finally gave out and he 
collapsed in a bloody heap upon the remaining fragments, silently 


"Shinya?" The older man called softly to the glistening
besides him, letting his eyes trace the soft contours of his young 
lover's naked body.

The pretty drummer sighed and stirred slightly, glancing up with 
sleep eyes at his gorgeous mentor. "Yes, Yoshiki-san?" He
prettily before stifling a yawn.

"Have you noticed anything different about Kaoru lately?" 
his eyebrows, the elder drummer ran a slender hand up the younger 
one's chest, letting it rest just over the bishonen's heart,
to absorb the beautiful rhythm through his outstretched palm. 

Shinya stared at the elder man quizzically before replying,
"Well, he 
was late to practice today. And you know Kaoru…he's never
Feeling the warm hand on his chest, the young one raised his own hand 
and intertwined it with the seductive man's fingers. "And
looked so horribly sad lately. I think there is something going on, 
but…" He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. He wanted so
for the older man to think their band was perfect and flawless, just 
like he felt Yoshiki was.

Yoshiki leaned in and placed a chaste kiss upon his lover's 
lips. "Please, Shinya…you need to tell me." He implored.

The pretty one sighed lovingly as he gazed into the deep tawny 
pools, "Kaoru never tells us his problems. He always seems so 
worried about the rest of us…he never seems to want to trouble us 
with his own issues…his own sadness."

"I understand." Yoshiki whispered as two shimmering tears
fell from 
his perfect eyes.


"What on earth are you talking about Die?? That CAN'T be
Toshiya cried, attempting to wipe his own tears of empathy from his 
pale cheeks.

Kyo had his arm flung around the guitarist's shoulders as the
man continued to drink heavily from the glass in front of him. 
how can you be sure that Kaoru was with Shinya? We don't _know_
those two are a couple. Hell, we just found out tonight how _you_ 
feel about Kaoru!" He exclaimed in utter frustration. He felt a 
major migraine coming on. This had been one hell of an evening. 

Die set the glass aside momentarily before staring sadly at his 
friends. "Ok, Shinya shows up at the studio with a hicky the
size of 
the fucking Pacific on his neck, both of them are totally oblivious 
today, Kaoru arrives late and disheveled, both of them refuse to come 
out with us, and to top it off, I call Kaoru only to find him panting 
into the receiver before he hangs up on me! What the fuck am I 
supposed to think Kyo?? Add all those things up and take in the fact 
that he's been trying his best to avoid me, probably I may add, 
because he knows I'm in love with him, and what do you think the
answer is?? He's _fucking_ Shinya. He's in _love_ with

The blue haired man's melancholy gaze fell on his miserable
He leaned into his koi as Die again focused his attention on his 
glass, polishing off the remaining alcohol in several huge 
glugs. "He's got a point, Kyo." He whispered, not
wishing to upset 
his friend anymore by overhearing his comments, "Kaoru has been 
acting very strangely lately, and he has been going out of his way to 
ignore Die. Plus, Shinya was awfully mean to Die today, trying to 
throw a cymbal at his head. Maybe Shin-chan feels threatened by 

The vocalist searched his lover's eyes emphatically for some
but saw none. Sighing loudly, he glanced over at the guitarist, only 
to find that he'd passed out on the table, hand still clutching
newly ordered drink. "You're probably right, Totchi. Come
on, let's 
get him home and sobered up."


H. *waits to be killed.* 
Kaoru: I can't believe you're making me act like this?!?!
Die: Yeah, me too!! How come Kyo and Totchi get to have all the 
Kaoru: Don't forget Shinya and Yoshiki! What the hell??
H.: *hides behind Jun*
Jun: Don't bring me into this…you brought this upon yourself
Kaoru & Die: *crack their knuckles and prepare to beat H. into a pulp*
H.:Acck!! Wait for the next chapters before you kill me…please!!

Ooh…soo sorry if it's a bit too angsty for everyone!! I was
write a KyoxTotchi lemon this chapter but my muse steered me in 
another direction. I PROMISE next chapter!!! (should it be kinky or 
no? any opinions?) Oh, and that reminds me, anyone interested in 
seeing a YoshikixShinya lemon? If not, I'll just keep it implied
get on with the plot parts. 

Oh, and thank you to everybody who's emailed me with their
comments. Sorry I haven't responded yet…excite mail is all
fucked up 
and I just got emails from 2 days ago right before I started writing 
this part. I thought it was a bit odd that it said I had no new mail 
for 2 days. *shrugs*

C&Cs welcome as always!


to be continued

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