Title: Girls Don't Fight
Band: Dir en grey
Pairing: ShinyaxDie, DiexShinya
Comments: Right.. so here there's gonna be brief flashbacks (I'll try
to keep them brief anyways…^^;;) of Shinya's past.. === is to
indicate the change of time.. ^^ ..Oh, and this might seem a bit
fast, what's going on between Die and Shinya.. but I don't want to
drag this too much and I need to get to the important parts. Enjoy!
There were people everywhere. He could feel the air full of their
used oxygen, carbon dioxide that made him feel a bit dizzy in this
enclosed place. He pushed back from the many men that had instantly
latched to his side, not sparing them a glance as he made it to his
venue. The place where he was supposed to meet… this customer.
A hazelnut of brown looked up at him as he approached the table, a
grin appearing on the stranger's face.
" I knew the service here was good.. I didn't know they offered
awesome looking people like you." His eyes twinkled at he spoke,
addressing him in a friendly manner.
The man patted the spot next to him, beckoning him to come nearer.
Shinya did so, carefully crossing his legs as he felt the man place
an arm over his shoulder. He immediately felt a warm, alcoholic
breath on his cheek. He tried not to wince at the stench.
" Will you give me pleasures tonight, sweet thing?"
The voice was husky, probably meant to sound sexy but Shinya had
heard the same line from all his customers and had grown immuned to
" Tonight and always." He forced himself to smile.
" That's the answer I wanted to hear…," the man's hand had slid
onto his long bare legs, reaching up to carress his thighs.
Shinya leaned back against the cushioned seat, looking impassive as
his customer disappeared beneath the table, reappearing underneath,
or rather, inside his dress. His head rested itself on the neck of
the seat, trying not to flinch when he felt the man's breath against
his parted legs. Fingers clutched onto the seat's arms, feeling
disgusted and repulsed as a mouth covered his length completely.
` The money Shinya…' He thought to himself, still keeping on the
cold face, gazing off into oblivion, ` This is for the money…'
" And so the teacher went completely ballistic!" Mei laughed,
telling a story to the group before her. " Shizuka, as always, didn't
hear a word she said… Just like right now."
Mei turned to the beautiful man, who was lost in his own thoughts,
not even hearing a word she was saying. He seemed to snap out of his
reverie though when Mei's arms wound around his waist, hugging him.
Looking down at her, Mei chuckled at him.
" I can't believe you actually daydreamed in Sensei Okata's class!"
Die was still chuckling at the story, smiling his charming smile at
Shinya. " Daydreaming is as bad as sleeping in his class!"
Shinya felt his heart throb loudly against his chest again and
quickly swallowed, trying to get rid of the flutter in his stomach.
` Shinya! Think Shinya!' He thought to himself. ` You're a guy..
not Shizuka. Shizuka is just a temporary act!'
" It was totally by accident." Shinya let himself fall into his
character again, smiling demurely at the red head. " I didn't know he
was yelling at me until he hit my head."
" Which he shouldn't have done!" Kaoru spoke up, taking his seat
next to Shinya, placing an arm around the small shoulders. " No one
should hurt you in any way!"
" I'm sure she'll be pleased to hear that." Toshiya rolled his
eyes. " Could you stop oggling over her for just one second and pay
attention to me?"
Kaoru turned to his lover but kept his arm around Shinya, smiling.
" I pay attention to you! I pay tons of attention to you when she's
" I feel so loved." Toshiya mumbled, looking down at his food.
" How could someone *not* pay attention to her?" Kaoru tilted his
head back a little as if to inspect Shinya's face with a wondrous
gaze. " She's just beautiful!"
Then, as if though noticing danger,
" Like you, Totchi."
Shinya chuckled and shrugged the arm off of his shoulder. Even
though his disguise was perfect, he still didn't like contact with
anyone. He'd rather them stay away from him. Stay several feet or
As soon as he had gotten him detached from Kaoru though, another
arm placed itself on his shoulder and he noticed that Die had taken
the seat in between Mei and himself. Mei was grinning at him,
oblivious to the adoring look Die was giving him.
" He's right though," Die's voice matched his look. " You are
Shinya felt his cheeks aflame and much to his dismay, he couldn't
find a way out of the situation. He lowered his head so that they
weren't eye to eye anymore.
" Mou," Mei pouted from beside him, " Now I feel left out."
Die's eyes blinked then the same mischievious glint appeared in
them as he placed his other arm around Shinya's friend.
" Since we're all indulging ourselves in praises, you're beautiful
Die leaned over and gave a quick peck on the cheek to the girl. It
was harmless, really, but Mei had turned a brilliant shade of
scarlet. She obviously looked pleased. Die felt his own stomach twist
horribly at her expecting eyes.
` Ah.. I should be more careful with what I do!'
Shinya, however, was only too glad to not be the center of
attention any more.
It had been, how many months now since he had stayed in Tokyo? The
school system was different, the people were more open then they were
in his small country town, there was more opportunity..And people
didn't know who he was or his history for that matter. Not that
anyone would've cared anyways. Unlike his small town, Tokyo was
bursting at the seems with prostitutes both female and male. If he
had wanted to go on living the life he lead back in his hometown, he
would've taken up a job in one of those clubs…
But he hadn't a reason to take on the job anymore, even if he was
still a starving student, he wasn't a *cheap* starving student.
Working in fast food restaurants was much better than having so many
dirty hands prowling his body. The pay wasn't as good, but at least
he had taken back a bit of his dignity.
Shinya sighed as he clutched his books to his chest, walking along
the corridors out of school. Mei had gone to see Die's practice again
and he was left alone to return home.
` Die..' A longing thought crossed his mind briefly.
The blond shook his head. Sometimes, he had trouble differenciating
his personality as Shizuka and Shinya. He was starting to act more
like a girl than he'd ever imagined. At first it was a burden,
softening his voice and wearing those god awful undergarments that
made his body itch. But after awhile, he spoke softly even without
thinking, even when he was alone, and the girls' clothes he wore no
longer made him uneasy. Instead, he moved in them as he would've in
` As if I could ever wear men's clothes again..,' Shinya thought
crossing into a street, not noticing heavy footsteps from behind him.
When a hand grabbed his arm and turned him roughly around, did he
realize he had been followed. He glanced up in surprise and fear,
when a tuff of red hair made his heart stop racing like a bullet
train. He heaved a long sigh of relief.
" You scared me to death Die-kun!" Shinya reprimanded, not at all
" I'm sorry, but you were walking so quickly and I didn't want you
to get away..," Die scratched the back of his head in his usual
nervous gesture. " I tried calling out to you but you didn't seem to
` I must've been deeper in my thoughts..,' Shinya glanced down at
his arm and felt the grip loosen.
" No, I didn't hear you." Shinya said curtly. " What do you want?
Don't you have practice? Mei is probably already waiting for you."
" Yes,.. I know. But I needed to talk to you." Die then placed both
his hands on the slender shoulders, " Shizuka, come to the movies
with me tomorrow night."
Shinya stepped back in shock, Die's hands falling to his sides
" I know this is sudden.. and it really is for me too.. I just
decided to ask you out on my way to practice." The red head drew in a
long breath of air. " I know there are tons of guys who are
interested in you and I know that you're probably gonna reject me the
way you rejected them but I just wanted to take a chance."
He hesitated searching for a response. Shinya only looked up at
him, still unable to find his voice.
" Shizuka…I-…" Die lowered his head momentarily and when he raised
his face so that they were eye to eye again, his cheeks were coloured
a deep red to match his hair. " Shizuka I like you."
Shinya drew in a gasp of air.
But his rationale didn't seem to be with him at the moment because
all he could think of as he looked back into Die's hopeful eyes was,
` Dear god he's gorgeous..'
Die continued to peer at the girl, who was starting to look uneasy.
She took several steps away from him again and looked up
" Die-kun, as much as your offer sounds really sweet and all..,"
She gulped, " I can't."
The red head was quick to notice that her own cheeks were flushed,
that she herself look out of breath. He wondered to her reasons and
knew that if she should feel a fraction of how he felt towards her,
it was held back because of Mei. He took a step closer to her and
held onto her shoulders before she could move away again.
" Ne Shizuka.. are you refusing me because of Mei-chan?" He asked
The girl didn't meet his eyes but nodded.
" It wouldn't be right."
" But you.. you feel just as I feel for you, don't you?" Die's
voice was becoming even more hopeful.
` Dammit, can't you conceal just a bit of how much she means to you
idiot?!' Die mentally bashed himself.
The girl was quiet and didn't move under his hold.
" Shizuka, do you like me?" Die tried again.
` Oh god oh god oh god….,' Shinya closed his eyes. ` Yes, I like
you.. I could even love you if I let myself but this is not right..
not right.. you think I'm a girl and I'm not..'
" I…" His voice came out squeaky and he cleared his throat.
` If I say I returned your feelings.. Die-kun..'
" There's a second reason to why I can't accept your offer." Shinya
managed to say.
` You'll find out someday I'm not what you think I am…'
" I.. I don't return your feelings."
` And then you won't even like me then..' Shinya finished his
He felt like sobbing having to watch Die's face become stone, his
eyes losing all hope, his lips drawn into a straight line that held
no traces of laughter in them. Die lifted his hand from his shoulder,
laughing softly, yet bitterly just as his own thoughts were. Shinya
hated to look up at him apologetically, instead, he wanted to look up
at him with longing but that just wouldn't happen..
" I understand." Die nodded his head, then laughed softly again. "
It was worth a try."
" I'm really sorry." There wasn't much to say in these sorts of
Die moved away slowly, his head down so that Shinya couldn't read
the expressions that crossed his forlorn face.
" Demo.. Shizuka.."
Before he could even think of what Die had wanted to say next, Die
had reached out a hand, grabbing hold of Shinya and pulling him
close. They were inches apart from each other, Die's hand holding
onto Shinya's upper left arm, his lips pressed against the blonde's.
A surge of memories flooded inside of Shinya's mind as he closed
his eyes and yielded towards the kiss.
Hot lips against his own, yet unlike the brutality his other
customers forced on him, this kiss was gentle and truly simple.
Chaste. Which was probably why he leaned in for more, the brief taste
of the man was not enough. For once, he actually wanted to be touched
and taken for all he was worth.
The man only leaned back slightly, his lips curved into a smile.
" I'll let you kiss me again.. if you answer my question, sweet
beauty." His voice was so deep, so sensual in every word that he
" Anything," Shinya felt himself breathe the word out, " Just ask."
" I ask of your name.. your real name, and why someone as innocent
looking as you works in a place such as this?" His hand held Shinya,
who was pressed against his body comfortably, running his fingers
through the long locks of flowing sunset. " Answer me now and I'll
give you your kiss."
" Innocence can be deceiving," Shinya answered shortly, " My name
The man smiled at the name, sitting up so that Shinya slid off of
him. They gazed at each other, the man with a kind look as he stared
at the beauty, Shinya who wore a look of hungered desire.
" My name is Kyo, Shinya." He closed his eyes and leaned
forwards. " Kiss me now."
Shinya delightedly followed his command, covering his mouth
completely over Kyo's, tasting him with all the vigour he had.
Eyes flashed open from remembrance, tearing away from the kiss,
pushing the taller man away. Shinya's eyes were still wide from a mix
of longing and denial.
" Iie.. I can't..," Shinya murmured, turning around and running
from the red head.
Die looked on, letting out a long sigh.
End of Part 2
Notes: See? Fast.... @_@ but at least there's a bit of reflection on
Shinya's life before he became Shizuka.. but that's not the reason
why he came to Tokyo.. that will come soon... And now, I'm gonna
really have to work on Shinya and Die's relationship..
Ah.. well. .hope this was enjoyed! ^_^