Title: Girls Don't Fight
Author: hikaru
Band: Dir en grey
Pairing(s): DiexShinya, ShinyaxDie
(there's also a bit of KaoruxTotchi and KyoxShinya on the
Comments: Difficult part to write but it's pretty much
a `revelation' chapter.. the next part will explain why Shinya ran
away, why Kyo's no longer with him, etc..^___^ Enjoy reading this..
I'm trying to make it as interesting as possible..~_~;;
C&C's appreciated ne!

Part 4


" Shizuka." Mei looked down at her friend, eyes cold without giving
a hint of warmth whatsoever. " We need to talk."

Shinya nodded, standing up from where he had been eating his lunch.
The two walked from the park together, a distance away that seemed to
stretch out millions of years. They didn't seem like the best friends
they had quickly become, instead they were like two strangers who
happened to be thrown into the same situation together.

" Die talked to me." Mei said as they passed a local bookstore. "
He told me about his feelings for you."

" I see." Shinya wasn't too surprised, he knew Die would tell his
friend sooner or later, he just didn't expect Die to reveal things so
soon. " What did he say?"

" He said that he likes you. Said that he knew that I liked him."
Mei lowered her eyes then glanced up at Shinya. " Told me to forget
about him cause he'd never forget you."

Shinya met her eyes but wished he didn't. There was a harsh
accusation in them that tore at his heart and made guilt rise up from
within him.

" Oh." If only he could say something more.

" God Shizuka!" Mei suddenly exclaimed. " Are you really so cold?
Why don't you give me a better reaction than that?! `Oh'? `I see'?
I'm trying to say that the person I've been falling in love with fell
in love with my best friend and you won't tell me so *he* tells me
and all you can say is `oh'?? Shizuka, you owe me more than that!"

Shinya closed his eyes, stopping their walk for a moment.
" You love him?"

" Goddammit yes, I do!" Mei yelled out. " You have no idea how much
I love him. And to know that he fell in love with you…You!"

Mei looked at Shinya with an unbelievable look.

" At first I thought you were just a quiet person… that it was just
a personality of yours. Fine!" Mei threw her hands up then narrowed
her eyes at Shinya. " Now I know it's just an act to conceal
everything you backstabbed at me."

" I didn't backstab you." Shinya said calmly, looking straight
ahead. " I never meant to hurt you."

" Well, Shizuka, you did."

Silence fell over them as they turned a corner into a quiet street.
The trees that hung overhead shaded them from the sun and gave them a
chance of serenity. Mei stopped to lean back against the stone wall
that was a barrier to another school. Shinya stood in front of the
girl, his face still a mask of impassiveness.

" I don't know how to see you anymore, Shizuka." Mei's voice was
gentle now, she stared at her feet saying so. " The two people I've
grown to love so much fell in love with each other."

" Mei-chan…" Shinya reached out for the girl but Mei pulled away.

She waited until Shinya dropped his hand before raising her own to
run them through the blond locks. There was deep admiration in her

" You're so pretty.. and smart… And so fucking mysterious…," Mei
laughed bitterly. " Doesn't take a genious to realize why he fell for

" I didn't ask him to." Shinya said, still keeping his voice
cool. " And what are you talking about? Me? Pretty? Smart? …
Mysterious? That's a laugh. Can't you see that some men are blind?
You're beautiful, Mei-chan. You're much more smarter than me… and who
loves a clammed up shell anyways? You're open and fun going and.."

" And Die loves you." Mei interupted. " He doesn't love me, he
loves you. He loves clammed up shells.. not open, fun-going people."

" Mei…"

" You know what hurts most?" She looked up, her eyes brimming with
tears. " You want to know what makes this so unbearable?"

Shinya met her eyes and sighed.
" No."

" Too bad, I'm telling you anyways." A tear streaked down the
girl's cheeks. " It's that.. you love him too. And you won't tell me
because you don't want to hurt me. But I'm hurting you so much
already because I'm standing in the way for you two."

" That's not—"

" Don't tell me it's not true, it *is* true!" Mei shouted at the
ground, not wanting to meet Shinya's eyes anymore. " You love him, I
can see that now and I bet Die knows it too. You just won't tell me.
You don't want to hurt me."

" Mei—"

" Well, if you don't want to hurt me, tell me the truth, Shizuka."
Mei reached out to take her friend's hands in her's, holding onto
them tightly. " I just want the truth. Tell me that you love him.
Just don't deny it, because then you'll be lying to me. And you've
never lied to me before.. don't let Die be the first reason to."

Shinya let his hands be held, looking down at their entwined
fingers before releasing a long sigh. He hated how Mei could easily
read his thoughts, even if he kept them guarded so well. He'd never
found a friend who knew him more than she did. He really didn't want
to lose her friendship…

" Haii, I love him too." Shinya let out a whisper.

Mei nodded after several seconds went by.
" Then go to him."

" But Mei-chan—"

" Why should you stay with me, Shizuka?" Mei stepped away from the
wall, away from Shinya. " I don't want you as my friend anymore, I
can't ever continue our friendship where it left off. There's no way
either of us could. Even if you kept on coming to me, I'd push you
away. I just don't want to be your friend anymore, Shizuka.. it's
very trying for me.. even now, to control myself from just killing

" If you're with Die, you'll be happier. He'll be happier." Mei
smiled sadly. " I don't want you to be so happy Shizuka, but I want
Die to be happy because I love him so much."

Mei turned around, walking out of the empty street, leaving Shinya

" Mei-chan—" Shinya tried to call out, desperateness creeping into
his voice.

A wave of the hand from the girl as she disappeared into the light.
" Sayonara."


So he was alone now. There was no more words he could say that
would change the girl's feelings. He had come to grip with the fact
that things between them would never be the same but he didn't know
that the fact that Die had feelings for him would come between their
friendship. He had thought that friendship was something
everlasting.. something eternal.

Something like love.

` Yeah.. and look what happened to the friendships and love in my
life.' Shinya kicked at a nearby pebble, his hands folding in front
of him.

" Shizuka!"

The familiar voice made him restrain a groan. He saw a figure
running up to him and the flash of red colour distinguished the
person. Shinya stood where he was, abandoning all thoughts to run
away, knowing well that he had to face Die sooner or later.

The red head came up to him, panting for breath. He leaned over,
hands on his knees, still trying to catch some air.

" I heard about Hiro… are you alright?" He managed to voice out,
eyes full of worry.

" Hiro's the last thing in my mind, Die." Shinya said curtly. " I
think you should know, since you've started this whole mess, that Mei-
chan doesn't want to speak to me ever again. Nor does she want to be
my friend anymore. She seems to think that I'd go running off to you
the moment she leaves me… why she thinks that way I have no idea."

" Shizuka.." Die's voice faltered.

" So if you don't mind, Ando Daisuke, I'd like to be on my way."
Shinya brushed past him. " I don't want to lose anything else I own
by being close to you."

A hand caught around his wrist and pulled him snugly against a well
muscled body, covering his own upper body in a tight embrace.
Shinya's eyes widened, his hands smashed between their two bodies,
resting with a tremble against the warm chest. He closed his eyes and
almost let himself lean into the warmth but pushed himself away.

Die clung onto him, pulling Shinya into the embrace again.

" No, don't you try to run away from me this time, Shizuka." Die
breathed into the sweet smelling hair. " You're right, I caused all
this trouble. I shouldn't have troubled you with my affections but
Kami-sama, Shizuka.. I love you… it's more than just this teen
affliction.. I love you… Shizuka? Suki da…"

There were tears in his eyes and as he was pressed against Die's
body even more, the tears were melted into the folds of clothing and
he weeped silently. He felt his body weakening and his legs were
shaking. He couldn't hold himself upright anymore. Fortunately,
before he could fall, Die held him close, helping him into a sitting

" I can't…" Shinya shook his head.

" Shizuka, don't say anything. Not now," Die propped Shinya up
against him, arms circling the boy's waist, not intending to let go
anytime soon. " I'm selfish, alright? I know I've hurt Mei-chan and I
know you'll never be with me because you love her too much but I
just could not *not* let you know."

` Get away Shinya… you're too close to him.. he can easily find out
who you are…' Were the thoughts that ran through his mind.

But he wasn't in the mood to listen to his mind at the moment. Die
was just so comfortable to lean back against, and his arms were so
secure around his waist and he smelt so nice….

" I got you into trouble with Hiro too, didn't I? Kaoru told me
about it.. how Hiro saw me kiss you and all." Die sighed. " I know
that I've been creating troubles for you but really.. I was just..
so selfish. I'm sorry."

The arms unwound a bit so that the hands rested on either side of
Shinya's waist; fingers were placed strategically over the uniform he
wore, pressing at the tight nerves, loosening them, relaxing the
muscles there. Shinya felt himself arching his head, resting it
against Die's shoulder, letting the soft fingertips of Die's work
their magic as they traced patterns over his tensed stomach muscles.

" Shizuka?" One hand rose to brush back forelocks from Shinya's
face, holding the head to the crook of his neck. " I won't trouble
you anymore. I promise. I'll talk to Mei-chan. I'll never let anyone
even try to hurt you again.. I'm so sorry… Please forgive me Shizuka?"

Hands slowly made their way near his chest, making Shinya wide
alert. He tried to push himself away but Die seemed insistent to keep
him close for the time being. The hands moved away though, massaging
his belly again, a safe distance from the breaking of his secret.

" Don't worry.. when I said I'd never let anyone hurt you.. that
included myself." Die's voice whispered softly in his ear, placing a
light kiss at his temples.

Shinya let out a shuddering breath, collecting all his energy and
strength to turn himself in Die's arms, craning his neck so that he
met Die's eyes. The warm light that greeted him set his heart at
ease, making his body lean even more into the touch of Die's hands.

" Die…"


" Shinya, I've bought you a book." Arms around his waist, a book
pressed against his stomach.

Shinya was startled from Kyo's sudden entrance, the apartment had
been empty when he had entered it an hour ago. He had been resting
then walked off to the kitchen for some food when Kyo had appeared
without warning.

The surprise was nice though and made the young boy smile.

" I thought you forgot about me." Shinya took the book and headed
back for the sofa. " I didn't know you had other plans for tonight."

" Actually, I would've been back sooner hadn't the traffic been so
lousy." Kyo rolled his eyes and sat himself next to Shinya. " I
thought I could get back before you did, I wanted to buy you
something.. and this book really reminded me of you."

Shinya held the book out in front of him and his eyebrows shot up
in surprise. He gave Kyo a funny look.

" `Harry Potter'?"

Kyo grinned, taking the book and flipping through it.
" I've never read it before but everyone's been raving about how
great it is. You could use some reading too.. a young boy such as

" Hey—" Shinya started to protest; his age was something he was
very sensitive about.

" But there are some other things I had in mind too." Kyo
intervened, pushing the book back into Shinya's hands. " Read through
it, chapter by chapter and then every time you come back here, I want
to hear your summaries and reviews."

" Sort of like story time?" Shinya couldn't help but smile at the
cuteness of the idea. " I didn't know you had such ways of passing

" That and I love hearing your voice." Kyo smiled back, his hand
resting against Shinya's.

Compliments from Kyo came so gratiously and were continued to be
showered upon the boy. They never ceased to make him feel so good
about himself and he always felt like kissing Kyo and giving him all
the love he could offer to the older man. However, since Kyo hadn't
wanted him to give him any pleasures of sex yet he settled himself
for a peck on the cheek.

" Thanks." Shinya beamed. " I'll read it when I get home."


" Tadaima." Shinya whispered softly as he entered the house on

Looking left and right he tried not to make the slightest noise as
he moved up towards his bedroom. He was long over his `tutorial' time
since he had forgotten the hours as he listened on to Kyo's stories.
Spending the nights with the man was so different from his customer-
to-customer job and the fact that Kyo had never even touched him was
just proof that he could actually enjoy something without the sex

Not that having the older man touch him in all those sweet places
wouldn't be a pleasure…

With the thought in mind, Shinya couldn't hold back a snicker as he
crept into his room, snuggling into his covers. He didn't even bother
to kick off his shoes, jumping straight into bed underneath his warm
comforters, opening the first page of the book.

" Terachi Shinya~~!!!" Came his father's roar.

He winced at the sound.
` Not again..'

The door of his room bursted open to reveal his father, enraged.
Shinya quickly hid the book inside his pillowcase, sitting up on his
bed to meet his father eye to eye. He never liked his father's
constant control over him and he always found himself being
rebellious to anything that was exchanged between the two of them. He
knew that the fight between them tonight wouldn't be any different.

" Where have you been off to again?!" Came the angry demand.

Shinya sighed and prepared himself for a comeback.
` Here we go again..'


Hugging Kyo was like hugging a teddy bear. A richly smelling,
handsome, gorgeous teddy bear. And like teddy bears he always let out
his tears to them, shamefully crying out all his fears, all his hurts
and woes, clutching them tightly as if they would offer him some sort
of consolation. Kyo was, thankfully, a responsive teddy bear and held
him in return, murmuring words of sympathy and understanding. Shinya
had curled up like a ball as Kyo continued to hold him, letting the
older man rock him gently back and forth.

" I didn't know you had problems with your father." Kyo said in his
soothing voice. " I'm sorry, I'll remember to let you return home
earlier from now on."

Shinya shook his head miserably.
" Don't. I don't like returning home. I just want to be with you at
nights.. cause you always make me feel so safe.."

" You're always given sanctuary here, Shinya." Kyo wiped away the
tears from Shinya's eyes. " But you can't run away from your father
forever. I don't want to think about what would happen to you if he
finds out where you've been.. or that you've been lying to him for so
long. It's best that you return home earlier from now."

" But Kyo—" Shinya started to sob.

" Don't cry." Kyo pressed Shinya's face against his chest, muffling
out the rest of the words, " From the moment I saw you at the bar I
only wanted to protect you.. To give you some sort of happiness I
know you're deprived of. And by making you stay here longer than
necessary, I'm not protecting you. Listen to me, will you Shinya?"

Shinya sighed but nodded against the man's body. He tightened his
own hold around Kyo, burying his face deeper into the material of
Kyo's shirt.

" I won't ever let anyone hurt you Shinya..," Kyo whispered, one
finger tilting Shinya's chin so that their faces met each
other's. " ..myself included."

And lips touched lips, a kiss to seal the pact.


" Die.." Shinya reached up to touch the face that gazed back at
him, his hand caressing the smooth skin. " Die."

The red head sat still, watching as Shinya moved their faces
closer, Shinya's hand resting at the back of his head to pull him
into a pleasant and heavenly kiss. He was hesitant at first, testing
the lips he had once pressed against his suddenly just days ago, then
firmly locked their kiss, not caring for the moment that he could
give away his secret.

` This is just so wrong…,' Shinya thought, moaning softly in
approval as Die slipped his tongue inside his mouth, ` But Kami-sama…
I love him too…'

End of Part 4

Notes: *cringes* argh.. I can't believe this one turned so.. so…
sweetish…. ^^;;; But the next part is a whole flashback episode and
full of angst to fill up for the lack of it in this one.. ehehh.. I
can't believe this one was so sugar-coated! ~_~;;
Ah.. well.. I hope anyone who reads this enjoyed it.. sugar-coated
and all.. *chu~*