Title: Girls Don't Fight
Band: Dir en grey
Pairing: ShinyaxDie, DiexShinya
Comments: It's over! thanks to everyone who's stayed through this!!
I've really appreciated all the wonderful comments... it's really
been so inspiring... *hugs everyone reading*
*bows* domou arigatou ne!!
The couple walked together through the corridors, the hospice had
become a second home to Die by now. Two months had passed since the
two were finally united then torn again by the death that was hanging
over their heads like a dark cloud. But Shinya's failing condition
didn't stop Die from visiting him, from whispering words of love..
and mischief every once in awhile, from kissing his lover, from
holding him at night whenever the wind blew too harshly.. or whenever
Shinya just needed company.
" You should leave me." Shinya said, his words having been
repeated thousands of times eversince he was first admitted into the
" I have no reason to leave you." Die said, stubborn. " I told you
I love you."
" I don't believe you."
" Sure you don't."
And then a kiss, it was always like that. They had come to ignore
everyone around them, always depending on each other.
It was another week before Die was placed in the hospice as well,
also diagnosed with HIV with no hope for ever surviving. Shinya had
looked guilty for days and whenever Die approached him, they had
another repeated conversation.
" It's all my fault." Shinya would punch at his pillow, his bony
fist leaving a dent in the cushioned area. " It's all my damned
" I was the one who wanted to make love to you."
" I had agreed! I shouldn't have agreed!" Tears.
" Are you saying you regretted making love to me?"
Shock, then another guilty look, this time gentle, kissing the red
head's face with butterfly kisses.
" I don't regret making love to you, Die! I just—"
" Then no one is at fault." A pause then, " Aishiteru Shinya."
Shinya's turn to pause, but always the same answer.
" Aishiteru Die."
Shinya's health was failing him and it came to the point where the
boy couldn't even sit up on his bed anymore. He was bedridden, being
visited by Die and able to only talk to him for a short period of
time. Those short moments were always filled with meaningful words,
not a second to be wasted.
Then, even those small talks were taken away when Shinya lost the
energy to speak, losing energy to do many things. He could respond
only with a smile or with a slight move of his head. Die could only
hold himself from breaking into tears himself during moments when
Shinya's smile turned so heartwrenching, so sincere, so full of the
love they'd never been given a chance to fully enjoy…
And then.. Shinya became unconcsious of the world, going into a
deep coma. Die came as frequent as he could, sometimes staying the
night at Shinya's bedside. He'd talk for endless hours, filling the
time with every story he knew of, just talking so that he wouldn't
lose his own sanity of knowing that he was soon about to lose his
Die fell ill soon after, not allowed to leave his room. But the red
head wasn't one to obey rules where Shinya was concern and went to
visit his lover anyways. They had to move Die's room so that the two
were in the same room together, Die made visits even during the late
hours of the night. It was.. a small sort of triumph for Die.
" Could you believe that, Shin-chan?" Die spoke his lover's name
tenderly, applying the nickname he'd given when Shinya hadn't been
able to speak. " Even the great powers of this hospice had to bow
down to me! They knew that we're inseparable!"
Silence answered back but Die was used to it already.
" Shin-chan?" Die edged closer, holding Shinya's hands in his. " Do
you remember when we first met each other? I thought that you were
the most beautiful girl I've ever met…. I still think you're
beautiful you know, even when you're asleep now. You're the most
beautiful person I've ever knowned."
" I love you so much."
The red head thought that he saw Shinya's lips twitch into a half
smile but he could've been imagining it.
He was about to say something else when he heard the loud hum from
the machine next to the bed. His eyes widened in horror when he
realized what the monitor was saying, was reading for him so clearly.
He clasped at the cold hand in his, shutting his eyes tightly,
feeling moisture in them. Die let out a racked sob, feeling himself
give way to the lost.
" Shinya…." He cried through choked breaths.
What was it like to love Terachi Shinya?
It was like a rollercoaster ride. He felt so dizzy, being tossed
here and there unexpectedly. But then, there was always a joy in the
ride that never failed to be there.
He loved the boy, as the girl he once was, as the person he had
been when he realized the truth. The different hadn't been different,
loving Shinya. Loving Shinya hadn't been much different from loving
Shizuka. Afterall, he was loving the same person.
He felt as if he could conquer the world, even when death was
always waiting for him at one corner. He felt as if everything was
his. As if the spring bloomed with intense vigour all year long. As
if the moon shone it's own light. As if the sun was nothing but
flicker of fire compared to his feelings for Shinya.
He felt love.
And as he lay there on his bed, the memory of being able to hold,
to caress, to cherish Shinya's whole being for that one night.. he
smiled as he saw a vast plain of eternity awaiting him—an eternity
for being able to hold, to caress, to cherish…. Terachi Shinya.
End of Part 8
~End of Fic~