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FOLLOWER ~a spider's scheme~
by
Jennifier D.

 

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If only I can turn back time...
[a new web; a new dream]
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Part VI.II:


Aiji was surfacing rapidly from the darkness he had been hiding
in and he wanted to stop that from happening. He didn't want to
return. He didn't want to face reality again... it was too cruel.
His heart couldn't take it.

"Aiji..."

That voice... pain stabbed through Aiji's heart at the sound of
that all too familiar gentle voice. The same voice said some of
the most horrible things he had ever heard some time back... It
said things he didn't expect to hear. It was almost like he was
back to high school again, facing girls who rejected him without
thinking... facing past girlfriends who didn't give a damn about
his feelings.

"Go away..."

"I'm not going away until you wake up."

"Leave me alone, Kirito."

"Please return to me."

"You don't love me."

"I do. I love you, Aiji."

Aiji opened his eyes slowly, unable to trust his own eyes. Kirito
was sitting beside him, smiling.

He didn't look like Kirito.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Kirito... or have you forgotten?"

"You're not Kirito. He never smiles."

"That was in the past."

Aiji closed his eyes and opened them again. The scene before him
didn't change. It wasn't a dream. "Ki-Kiri...?"

The smile faded from Kirito's face slowly, like a light bulb
which still glowed faintly even after the switch was turned off.
"How do you feel now?"

Aiji breathed in deeply, and sighed. "Much better... thank you."

"That's good then. Will you... forgive me?"

Now Kirito's face was like what it looked like in the past,
emotionless. Aiji reached out a trembling hand to touch Kirito's
face, and caressed it gently. The other didn't flinch, but let
him, just like in the past.

"Yes." Aiji paused.

"But..."

"What is it, Aiji?"

"I... I can't date you anymore."

"I understand."

"You... you have hurt me too much before. I don't know if you'll
hurt me in the same way again."

"I know."

"So..."

"Hush, Aiji." Kirito stood up from where he was sitting, and
walked over to the door. It was only then did Aiji realise that
he was lying on his own bed. "I won't ask you to do anything for
me again."

With that, the door closed.

Aiji sighed again, then squeezed his eyes shut, clutching where
his heart should be tightly. It had hurt so much... He didn't
want to get hurt again.

"Gomen ne, Kirito..."

Outside the room, Kirito was greeted by the rest of Pierrot the
moment he closed Aiji's bedroom door. Jun was watching him
worriedly, but Kohta seemed even more anxious, holding Jun's hand
tight in his. Kirito ran his thumb over the bare ring finger,
aching with memories. Takeo only tilted his head to one side with
an inquiring look.

"He's okay."

Kohta gave a sigh of relief, echoed by a softer one emitted by
Jun. The bassist turned and smiled at his boyfriend, bopping him
on his head gently. Takeo sat down and leaned back on the couch,
picking up his drink and sipping it quietly.

When Kirito joined Takeo on the couch, the drummer turned and
watched the vocalist carefully for a long moment before he
finally spoke.

"Is he willing to get back together with you?"

"No."

"Ah."

"He's... afraid of getting hurt again."

Takeo nodded his head slowly.

"Give him time, Kirito."

"It'll never be the same again."

"That can't be avoided." Takeo watched Kirito bow his head
slightly, then the vocalist looked up with a small smile on his
face.

"I have learned. I won't make the same mistake again."

*I'll never fall in love with my toys again.*

"That's good."

The quiet ambivalence returned, and all four members of Pierrot
sat in the living room, waiting for the remaining guitarist to be
ready to leave his room and face them again. Ten minutes later,
the door to Aiji's bedroom creaked open slowly and the guitarist
walked out, his face pale.

"I'm sorry, guys..."

"I'm still not sure if I want to return to Pierrot or not..."


End: Part VI.II


Date completed: 281101
Last revised: 211201
 

~to be continued~

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