Dreams and Time
Shinya was in his apartment alone again, he felt really tired, the night sure
had been wild..
"Die.." said Shinya looking at the moon, sadly.
There's such a beautifull night, but it's such a waste without you, Even though
i really had a great time.
"Miyabi." a sweet smile in his lips.
I'm confused, i shouldn't be. But i can't help to feel this way.
Miyabi's the best guy i've ever seen in my life, so tender and smart, sexy and
at the same time so sweet and natural.
It really feels great, when we're together.I like to be with him, it's fun and
Something just feels wrong. And i'm not talking abt something that has to do
with Die-kun, but something else.
On the other side, I love Die.as simple as that, i don't need to say how
wonderfull he's cuz that's just how is it. And cause that's not important, i
just love him cuz i feel it. Cause i love every part of him, even the bad
ones..Cause it's perfect in my world.
He heard the doorbell through his toughts.
"Damn!" said the drumer opening the door.
Who could it be at this hour??
"Good to see ya too Shin-chan" said Die merrily
"Die!!!i didn't knew it was you" said Shinya blushing.
"And who else could it be at this hour??" said Die sitting in the couch
"anybody!!!!!!!how was i supposed to know that it was you??" said Shinya with
his face full of anger.
"Relax Shin-chan, i didn't came here to tease ya" Said die leading the younger
man next to him in the couch.
Shinya blushed feeling how close their bodys were.
"What're you doing here at this hour?? It's so late Die!! In a normal day i
would've been in bed already." said Shinya trying to relax a bit, but it was so
The room seemed so small and the air was really hot, It was being really
difficult for the drumer to breath.
Why can't i act like a normal person whenever he's around, that doesn't happen
to me with Miyabi-kun.
Maybe that's what i'm looking for.
Die's voice sound so sweet and deep, shinya felt his heart melted at the elder
Shinya didn't want to look at Die, he was sure that he was blushing and it
seems as if his heartbeats were so loud, he was so afraid that Die could hear
But Die took his chin and locked their eyes.
"Listen to me Shin-chan. I couldn't sleep thinking of this. you can't imagine
how much's bothering me, that's why i'm here at this hour. I'm sorry i know
it's really late, i'm so glad i didn't wake you, i was so afraid that you could
been asleep, but i had to or i'm never gonna be able to sleep again, and i need
it, i'm so tired..."
said Die really tired, without taking his eyes of Shinya.
"Die..It's ok, don't worry i wasn't sleep anyway. But it's so late it's really
dangerous for you to be in the streets at this hour, you'll have to stay here,
or i'm gonna be the one who's not gonna be able to sleep ne" said Shinya
Die sleeping here, it's like a dream.
Shinya smile brightly.
"You know i love ur smile beauty, sure i'll stay here. But let me finish what i
need to tell ya"
Shinya nodded softly.
"Shin-chan i'm worried abt you, the other day when you left the bar with that
guy.." started saying die slowly, known that shinya's going to be upset with
him for bring the subject now, and even more for telling Kao abt it.
"That's what's all abt??, i can't believe it!!!" said Shinya losing all his
selfcontrol and he stand to leave the couch but Die who was ready for this kind
of reaction held his hand strongly and force him to sit down again almost
"gotta be dreaming if you think i'm gonna let you go so easily, there's no
way." said Die roughly.
Shinya felt the pain in his arm where die was holding, and felt a bit scared.
"please let go, it hurts." Said Shinya softly beaten.
Die took the arm to his lips and kissed the place where his hand'd left a
"I'm sorry, the last thing i want is to see you in pain shin-chan, that's why i
need you to listen to me, please" Die's eyes begged.
"Ok Die-kun but with one condition"
"That this's not a one sidetalk, but a two sides conversation, got it?"
"It sounds fair" A little smile formed in Die's lips.
Shinya took a deep breath, this was going to be hard.
"I don't understand why you guys have to make such a big deal of it, you made
the same thing milions of times Die, why is it suddenly so wrong??"
"It's different, cuz I'm Die and you're Shin-chan"
"Oh yeah, that's right, that makes a lot of sense" said Shinya ironically.
"Ok, so it's doesn't sound too fair ne, but it's how it really seems to us,
we're just worried, how can't you understand??" said Die almost desperate, this
was a discussion that he was obviously losing.
"I see, but you don't have to worry die, i know how to take care of myself, why
can't you just be happy cuz i found somebody who loves me for who i really
am??" shinya was abt to cry, the tears filled his eyes, but he wasn't going to
let die see him cry.
"Lie!!Obviously you don't know how to take care yourself, other way you
wouldn't have left the bar with this guy you didn't even knew!!!!!! You found
somebody who loves you?? What are you talking abt?? Do you really think that
one night stand means that?? It's just sex!!!!!!nothing else, you think i loved
every guy i fucked??"Die was furious.
"I hate you!!!! It's not one night stand, i couldn't do it that way!!!! I'm not
like you, sex means nothing to me!!!!! What i care abt is love and tenderness,
a real and mature relationship, something you'll never know!!!!! How can you
say that you didn't care at all abt all this poor guys that slept with you??
You have no heart Die!!!!" Shinya screamed crying, that was all he had reached
Die, his die thought that nobody could ever love him, that nobody could ever
want him more than just for sex.
"I can't believe it shinya, you can't be serious abt this guy!! You don't know
him!!! He could be a psycho. I don't wanna see ya with him again, you hear me,
stay away from him!!!" Die screamed holding shinya roughly by his wrists,
shaking the younger man violently.
Shinya felt his heart broken into pieces, Die was hurting him.
His wrists were full of pain.
"Why??.Why do you think that nobody could ever love me?? Only for sex you said,
so is it impossible to find somebody who can really love me for who i am, is
it?? So repulsive you think i am, that guys could only want me for sex??" said
Shinya crying in pain, he didn't want to discuss anymore, he felt like a puppet
in die's arms.
"What?? No, of corse no, what're you talking abt shin-chan??I don't think
that!!! You're the most precious creature i've ever known in my entire life,
why do you think all that shit?? I just don't want you to get hurt, of corse
anybody could love you, you can't imagine how desirable you're, so lovely, but
you're so fragile too, even if you never admit it and i'm not gonna let anybody
hurt you, ever.
That's why i'm so worried my beauty, you need somebody that can truly love you,
and that can deserve your love, somebody tender and so beautiful as you, it has
to be magical. Do you understand me
shin-chan?? You deserve that. You deserve perfection bcuz you're perfect by
yourself" Die said sweetly holding shinya in his arms, stroking his beautiful
Shinya was confused, but it felt so right, to be in Die's arms, inhaling his
essence against his chest.
They stayed like that for hours just holding eachother in silence, with the
moon rays over their bodies.
Suddenly they heard a knock in the door.
"Fuck!! How can somebody be here at this hour??" Said Die standing slowly to go
open the door.
"Now that's weird, i thought that you're the only asshole that could disturb me
at this hour" said shinya with a bright smile teasing die.
"Baka, you'll see later" said Die before opening the door.
"Wow!!What were you guys doing?? Am i interrupting something here??" teasing
"Totchi!!!!" said Shinya surprised.
"The same ne" Toshiya grinned sensually.
"What're you doing here?? Are you alright??" asked Die worried for the bassist
"Sure, do i look like if i was bad or something?? I'm great!!" Toshiya smiled
"please come in, you want some tea??"
"Yeah, thanks, it was really cold outside"
"And what abt you die-kun?"
"Sure beauty, thanks"
Shinya was in the kitchen making some tea, sure it was weird, that same
afternoon when he was at Totchi's kao said that Toshiya was really sick with a
very high fever, and now Totchi was here looking great.
And where's kao-kun??
And what was doing toshiya here at this hour anyway??
"Are you feeling better Totchi??" asked die sitting in front of the dark haired
"Yup, much better thanks to kao-kun, he's so sweet you know."
"Here" said Shinya placing the three cups of tea in the table and then he took
sit next to die.
What's that look in totchi's eyes??
It seemed for some reason different..
"And Kaoru??" asked shinya trying to relax, he didn't understand why was he
feeling so strange.
"He's asleep, poor kao-kun, he's really tired.so i left him resting"
"That's weird, he was so worried for you this afternoon, he must be really
tired if he's asleep, he told me you were really sick Totchi, i was so worried"
said Shinya sweetly, feeling glad that his friend was better.
"My babe Shin-chan, it's so good to see you, same to you Die-kun, i love you
guys" said toshiya lovingly.
"Hey!! feeling emotional tonight totchi??" said Die teasing.
"I just thought you guys should know, the four of you are the most precious in
"We know Totchi, it's the same here. I think we'll love eachother more than
anything else" said Shinya softly.
"By the way, why're you here at this hour Toshimasa hara??" said Die still
"Oh!! I needed to talk to you Shin-chan, i didn't knew Die was going to be
"Umph..seems like everybody wants to talk to me this days"
"I can go to the other room if you." said die finally serious again.
"No, absually it's better this way" said totchi serious too.
"Well??" Shinya was beginning to feel intrigued.
"This might sound crazy to you, but you must trusth me, ok?"
"You're gonna meet a guy one of this days, maybe you already knew him"
"Don't look at me with that face you two, this is serious, his name's Miyabi,
and he's in a band too, he's the guitarist of an indies band"
"unbelievable!!!" said Shinya feeling a bit upset
die smiled pleased.
"I'll take that as a sign that you already known him. Listen to me shin-chan,
he's dangerous.you gotta be carefull, please stay away from him, but even that
now that you known him is not enough, you gotta be really carefull" said
"Totchi, how did you??"
"That doesn't matter, just trusth me"
"But you were sick already when i knew him..ah!!i see kaoru told you!!" said
"No babe, kaoru didn't tell me"
"When you said Dangerous you mean?" asked Die worried
"I mean like really dangerous, especially fro you shin-chan i cant' tell you
more, i have to go"
" please just trusth me shinya, that's all i ask you, do it at least for our
friendship, and remember guys that i love you no matter what, you two along
with kao and Kyo are my only friends ad the persons i care most in this cold
"Sure Totchi, we know, same here" said Die warmly.
"Ah!!and Die, don't be stupid, ok?? You know in you heart what you really want,
so don't waste the time cuz life's too short for that" said Toshiya smiling
tenderly to his bandmates.
Die blushed sweetly and looked at the floor
"Don't you wanna stay here Totchi??it's really late" asked Shinya feeling
"NO, i have to go or kaoru's gonna get worried, and guys pls, don't tell him
that i was here, let it be our secret ne, cuz other way he's gonna worry too
much, and he's so tired already" and saying that he left the apartment running.
"Bye Totchi" said shinya and then he closed the door slowy.
"Die??What're you looking in the floor??"
"Umh..ermh..nothing" said die really shy
"Well, then let's go to sleep, ok? I'm so tired"
"What is it?"
"I don't know die.I'll think abt it, but for some reason i think i'm gonna
trusth totchi on this one"
Die looked at shinya feeling the relief washing his heart.
"Die.Let's go to bed, ok?" said shinya tired
"that would be great" said Die smiling.
And after that he went and held shinya's hand.
Then they closed the bedroom's door and get in bed.
Die holding shinya tightly against his body.
"Sweet dreams beauty"
and soon they were in dreamland.
to be continued~
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