Title: Paradise
Author: Mako
Email: akuro_no_oka@hotmail.com (i changed it ^_^)

Genre: so much sap it just might kill you o_O lots of OOC-ness, too
*hangs head*
Rating: *shrugs*
Pairing: KaoruxToshiya & a little DiexShinya, but ya kinda gotta look
for it ^^;; and i mean,
_really_ look for it ^^; there will be more later ^^;;; but...this
fic is mainly KaoruxTotchi,
so...yeah ^_^;
Comments: *clings*
okay, i must say...i think that this chapter is more or less very
cliché....or at least parts of
it are XP but...but........ it....i...never mind ^^; or at least i
think it's rather cliche...
can't have anything happen happily, now can i? *berates self* =_=
Dedicated to Fuyumi, VM, Hiro-chan, Edith, NightMajik, ScarletKozi,
Luni-chan, Winterfall,
Yukimi, Piiko-chan, Lohe-chan, Ocha-chan, Mini-chan, Aimee-chan, and
all me buds ^_^
Also dedicated to those who want it to be dedicated to them ^_^ have

spelling errors love me O_o;;


"Will we burn in heaven?
Like we do down here
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting"
-Witness, by Sarah McLachlan


Part 3

It took two weeks for the doctor to let Toshiya out of the hospital,
and four weeks for Kaoru.
The cast on his leg constantly annoyed him, and the doctors kept on
mumbling about how lucky
he was to of not broken the leg that needed a skin graph.

He would seem perfectly normal.

Except for one trait that Toshiya and the rest of the band quickly
caught on to.

He had stopped talking.


"Did that time sound better, Kaoru?"
A nod.
"Practice over, Fearless-Leader-sama?" Die played, putting down his
There was a small, forced smile, and a nod.
Kyo gave the pink haired guitarist a light hug, and quickly bolted
through the door. He didn't
want to stay there for any longer than he had to.
Die and Shinya both left together.
Leaving Toshiya with Kaoru.

"Nee, Kao-chan?" The blue hair's jaw had stopped aggravating him and
giving him pain. He was
free to talk like a bee once more. Much to the managers and
assistants in the studio's

Kaoru looked at the blue head.

"May I come over?"

Kaoru stared at him for a few seconds before giving a short nod, and
turning back to putting his
guitar away.

"Yatta ^_^" Toshiya bounced to put away his bass, then quickly
bounced to get Kaoru his crutch,
and went back to the pink haired man.

"Here ya are ^_^ Come on! Let's go!" Kaoru nodded, half leaning on
the crutch, and half leaning
on Toshiya.
"Maybe we should of gotten you two crutches, instead of one....that
one looks like it's gonna
break soon, anyways...." Toshiya eyed the wooden appliance with
distaste. "Or they could of
given you a wheelchair...."

Kaoru let him ramble on to himself, having a one-sided conversation
with a few nods of the head
or shakes.

The walk home was long, and weaving through even a small amount of
people with a man who couldn't
exactly walk on his own was tiring on Toshiya.

He almost sparkled when Kaoru's apartment complex came into view.


Toshiya was glad that Kyo had gotten a crew of people in to Kaoru's
apartment to fix it up. The
door was replaced, the locks secured (he got more, as well), and the
mess in the bedroom and
living room cleaned.

"Just sit here....I'll go get us some tea, k?" Toshiya said, gently
pushing Kaoru towards the
couch. "Then....um....mind if we watch some of you Gundam videos? I
don't have any money for
movies on me....gomen ne..."

Kaoru nodded, propping his left leg on the table in front of the
couch, for the doctor had told
him to elevate his broken leg; to reduce swelling, or some scientific
thing like that.

Kaoru really didn't care.

Soon, Toshiya was back, balancing two mugs of steaming hot tea, a
Gundam tape, and a large
As Kaoru moved to help him, the blue head gave him a look, and told
him to just sit still.
"I'm going to take care of you tonight, not the other way around, Mr.
well. Sit down."

Kaoru cringed inwardly at the memory of how Burra had gotten in to
his apartment.
Toshiya didn't seem to notice, as he popped in the tape, settled down
next to Kaoru on his
left side.

Toshiya lightly leaned on Kaoru's shoulder as the opening song blared
through the speakers. The
tea was, as said before, very very hot, so Toshiya just held it,
warming his hands, and blowing
on it.
He quickly pulled the blanket over the two of them, and leaned back,
watching the film.

Half way through, the blue haired bassist started to doze off, tea
forgotten on the table, and
the arm around his shoulders unnoticed.
In his half awake mind, Toshiya felt Kaoru move closer to him, the
warm breath on his neck, and
the smell of the pink haired guitarist swirling around him. He
closed his eyes.

"...Toshiya...." the very small, quiet, and rather raspy voice
whispered into his ear lulled him
farther into slumber land.
"...oyasumi, Totchi..." he was asleep, head on Kaoru's lap, before
he could ever feel the light,
soft kiss to his forehead.


Grey shadows fell from the sky in torrents, much like the rain that
splattered in the gutters
and over the tired city. It was cold, and not a soul was seen on the
streets of the outskirts
of the town.

A lone building drew into view; broken windows almost resembling
prison bars, and the broken
down door looked like a cracked tooth.

The road leading up to the warehouse was a churning, muddy mess;
churned up from the few trucks
that drove up it every once upon a time.

Rope biting in to skin, the winged man struggled, twisting and
turning, trying to pull his
wrists out of the binding. His wings had been ripped, and his legs
tied down as well.
There was a thin piece of satin covering his eyes and his mouth,
blinding him and binding him.

//Where am I...?//

He could hear the rain outside, and the cold wind bit at his bare

//I'm _naked_?!// he could feel his face heat up, and he squirmed to
roll into a fetus position,
but to no avail; his bindings didn't allow it.

His thoughts were dashed as he felt a cold, clammy hand touch his
toes, reaching up and tickling
the soft skin of his inner thighs, and then leaving to finger the two
white wings. One hand
reached up to undo the binding on his mouth.


He could feel the other person's grip tighten on his right wing.
"I thought i told you to not talk unless told to?" a low, deep voice
whispered into his ear,
pulling on his feathers, and making tears come to the corners of his

"Now. Where is he?"
"Who?!" the winged man asked, fearing what he could not see
"The other..."
"The other?"
"The other like you...."

In a flash, the setting totally changed.
It was warm, there were birds singing in what must of been trees
above him, and the grass was
kind on his back. The blindfold was gone, as were all the bindings.
He was fully clothed, as
well and perfectly healthy, once more.

He was temporarily blinded by the sun, before a shadow covered it.
He squinted.
The face was of a young man, around his age, with long black and blue
hair. He was smiling a
cute, crooked smile, and his eyes danced. He had two large wings
behind him, as well.
The other's lips moved as if talking, but the winged man could not
hear a word spoken.

"Come closer, for I can not hear what you are telling me."
"I thought I told you NOT TO TALK!" the young man's beautiful face
twisted into the ugly one of
Burra's, alcohol stench wafting off of him and his breath, as the
knife came into view again,
aimed right for his deep brown left eye---


Toshiya awoke with a start...again. There was something very wrong.
He looked around, through his sleep induced vision, and noticed that
he was lying on the main
couch in his band leader's apartment.

That wasn't anything new, he'd slept there before.

No, it was what was half under him.

Quickly turning, he found the very same band leader twitching, mouth
open as if to scream, and
eyes wide open in a sightless stare.

Both hand was clutched over his left eye, seemingly in intense pain
and near insanity.


"KAORU! Kao-chan!! OKITE*!!" Toshiya yelled, shaking the pink haired
guitarist's shoulders.
"Please, Kao-chan!" his hand left it's place on the shoulders and
cupped Kaoru's high cheek
bones. He gently removed the trembling hands from where they resided
over one brown eye, one
hand holding the guitarist's hand, the other gently running across
the cheek bone.

Tears began running down the guitarist's cheeks, and he closed his
eyes as hard as he could,
trying to get the dream out of his mind.
Opening one red, tear rimmed eye, he was confronted with the worried
face of Toshiya.
Kaoru nodded slowly, before reaching out to the tall bassist before
him. Palms up, he took
Toshiya's hands, and gently pulled him back to resting on his chest.

"Ka-kaoru? ...///" Toshiya turned a nice shade of pink, finding
himself chest to chest with
his band leader.
//What's going on?! First he's silently screaming, now he wants
someone to use him as a human
pillow?! WHAT THE HELL?!//

He tilted his head up to look at the guitarist, only to see the man
mouth the words "Sleep". No
noise came from his mouth, but it was still an accomplishment for
Toshiya to see the man at least
try to talk.

He gave a lopsided grin, before burying his face in the crook of
Kaoru's neck. Breathing in
deeply, Toshiya gave a small sigh, moving around to find a more
comfortable position; yet at the
same time being careful of the wounds on both of their bodies.

Just before Toshiya was about to lapse into sleep again, he felt two
gentle hands on his back,
one running up and down it slowly, and the other playing with the
ends of his hair.
He blushed a pretty color of pink again.

//What's going on?//

"Kao-chan?" the blue head looked up into Kaoru's face, only to see
Kaoru's once dulled eyes shine
with life that Toshiya hadn't seen after the incident with Burra.
He gently raised a hand, running a soft finger softly down Kaoru's

"What was that? Another nightmare?" Kaoru nodded slowly, still
running his hand through the dark
blue locks. "What are they about?"

Kaoru shook his head.

"Oh? Still not talking...?" Toshiya ended sadly, looking down again
and fingering Kaoru's shirt
hem, his cheeks still a light pink.

There was a pouty sigh, then soft words.
"Wings. Yelling. Abuse. Bindings....." There were long pauses
between the raspy voice's
mantra, in which Toshiya thought that the pink head had
stopped. "Grey. Rain. Storms....."
Long pause. "You." Kaoru stopped, turning his head to the side, as
to look at the blank TV.

"M-me?" a nod. "Is...is it the yelling and abuse in your dreams
that-that has made you stop


"Haunting you?"

A nod.

Toshiya's eyes brimmed with tears.
It hurt him to see his once fearless leader-sama broken down like
Hell, it had hurt him to find the man lying on his bed, broken and

A gentle finger brushed the first tear off it's course down his
cheek. He looked up, only to
see Kaoru, again, looking at him.
The finger lightly traced a path from his cheek down to the corner of
his lips, then lightly
running over the contours of them.

Toshiya gave a little gasp as he felt Kaoru replace the finger with
his lips.

It was a light kiss, gentle and sweet, as a first kiss should be,
sending heat through the
bassist's body like an arrow.

When Kaoru drew away, Toshiya's face had reached a new level of
pink; 'twas now a good color of

"Abuse....showed me.....Love you..."

Toshiya gently buried his face again into Kaoru's shirt, his grip
returning, and new tears
falling from his make-up-less eyes.

Kaoru winced.

"Ah! Gomen, ne, Kao-chan!" Toshiya quickly sat up, brushing the tears
from his eyes. "I forgot
about your wounds! Aaah!"

The blue haired bassist quickly started to get up to help Kaoru out,
when a hand caught his.
"At least let me help you to your bed...it's not that comfy out here,
and I don't want you
getting a chill @_@ *mother-hen-Totchi*"

Kaoru just let the blue haired man help him into the bedroom, laying
him down and pulling up the
blankets until they rested just under the pink hair's chin.

"All better? Need anything else?" Toshiya asked, brushing the bangs
out of Kaoru's eyes.
"You." Simple answer.

Toshiya smiled softly, leaning over to kiss the guitarist on the
forehead, before walking over to
the other side of the bed and crawling under the covers to curl up
next to the wounded man.

A hand came down to ruffle through the black and blue hair, then
resting on one rather bony,
sleeveless shoulder, that belonged to Toshiya. Toshiya leaned his
head onto Kaoru's collar
bone, wrapping his arms around the man, as Kaoru did the same.

Kaoru was slipping in to sleep, comforted by the smell and feel of
the one he had loved from
afar for years, when he heard the quiet words:

"Ai shiteru, Kao-chan."


to be continued ^_^
....man, that chapter was fluffy and very sappy O_O it was almost
next chapter?
My first attempt at a lemon ^_^;;
wish me luck...

* okite litterally means "wake" ^^;; go me and my Japanese dictionary

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