Chapter One: A Lady is calm, courteous, and friendly
by: Myu Myu
Band/Pairing: Malice Mizer / Gackt x Mana
Warnings: Yaoi, Shounen Ai, angst, POV switches, long winded typing
Everything was for you. Every chord, every note, every carefully placed step, every yard of fabric, every strategically staged glance. All for you. Surely you knew this? This world I created for you...surely this showed my love for you? How could you shatter it as you have? Abandon me when I need you most? When the band needed you most? I have a heart. I am not the ice queen I am perceived to be. I cried when you left. I remained stone-faced as you talked but my heart broke and my soul shattered with every word. Could you see the pain in my eyes? When you left the room I ran to the bathroom and cried.
You speak of women. You’ve had many. How many men have you had, Liebe? Just me? I thought we had each other. I thought you were mine and I was yours.
...was I wrong?
Do you remember the nights we spent together? Your skin always tasted so sweet darling. It was so
beautiful. The caresses of skin, the tender kisses that so quickly turned savage and hungry. Your tongue flickering against my ear, jaw, neck...then how I would pounce you, grind our groins together until you screamed for want and pleasure? I would suck your skin, teasing your nipples as my delicate fingers snaked down your chest and stomach, down under those loose cotton pants you wear to bed. I remember the look on your face. Your eyes seemed to roll back into your head, and, oh God, the noises you’d make! That must be what heaven sounds like. Did anyone make you see stars like I used to? Do you even know what you do to me? Even now? That feral grin on your face...just thinking of it makes me almost lose it. When you would lose control and pound into me like the whole world would end if you stopped...gods, do you know what you do to me?!
Once, I did the same to you. Didn’t I? Did I drive you crazy with want and need like you did to me?
Where did I go wrong? Did I not do or say something?
Couldn’t you see my feelings for you?
Ugh...I feel so dirty...inside and out. My mascara has made circles around my eyes...I feel empty. The black curtains have been drawn tight, the only light is one candle that is slowly burning in its chandelier. I miss you...I would never say it out loud to anyone, but...I do. I miss your words, your smile, your hair...the way you would look so distraught after a live - as if the world would end. You lived for those moments...you probably still do. People don’t change drastically, such is humanity fated to repeat their past mistakes. Do you know the passion with which you perform? I used to have that...I lost it when you left...But you, you -are- the performance. There is you and only you. Not just onstage. Off-stage as well.
There is a reason thousands of girls flock to you. Yes, there is your perfect body, you know that, I’m sure. You’ve always been confident of yourself physically. No, they love your everything. The way you blush at compliments, pour your heart and soul into everything you do. Perfection. Your life revolves around it. The
pursuit of perfection...We are so very much alike, you and I...although I am much shyer then you. While I
remove myself from the source of imperfection, you dwell in it
Oh dear...I’m rambling. I hate it when I do that, and now my train of thought has been derailed. Damn
you...damn you for making me think of you...for making me lo...love you?
The telephone’s ringing interrupts my startling revelation.
“Mana-sama?” That voice...it couldn’t be...?
“Hai. May I ask who is calling?” Stay calm, don’t let your voice waver...
“This is Gakuto. You didn’t recognize my voice...?”
I clutch the phone, pausing slightly. “I...one can never be too careful...We have not spoken in several
months, have we not?” Good, well spoken. Don’t let him know your feelings.
“No...” his voice is sullen and there is a long awkward pause. “How have you been?”
“...as well as can be expected,” there is a hint of bitterness in my tone. I am sure he picked up on it.
“Hai, Camui-kun?” I can almost see him wince from me using this informal nickname. God knows I can hear it.
“It is good to hear your voice again.”
“It would be nice to see each other again, wouldn’t it?” Though his voice waves with nervousness, this is a request not a suggestion.
“...Would you like to meet me for coffee?” There is a tense pause. I know he thinks I will hang up on him. He also knows I am too polite to do such a thing.
“Of course.” A lady never refuses a request from a gentleman.
“Will you meet me at the coffee shop, um, you know, the one near the Kunokuniyo bookstore? The name escapes me...” His voice is saturated with joy. It is all I can do to keep from giggling.
“Yes, I know the one. What time shall we meet?”
“Is five convenient?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I shall see you in two hours time, then.”
“Hai. Ja matta ne!”
“Ja matta.” I hang up the phone and let out the breath I was holding. Two hours...one hundred and twenty minutes...seven thousand- two hundred seconds...such a short time until I see him...oh God...
BWAHAHAHAHA yes, i know, i'm evil. R+R with any suggestions.... umm, i couldnt think of a coffee shop, and i have no idea whether or not there is one near Kinokuniya. In fact, Kinokuniya is a chain, so im sure there is somewhere......umm yeah >,,> More on the way!
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