nika-No Heart
No Heart

by Nika

PAIRING: So long Kaoru had NC Sex with Toshiya

This is harmless, but shows very much of Toshiya's development.
I'm sorry for making Kaoru the bad guy.
Really sorry.
Please enjoy...

Part 12

Driving through the darkness of the evening, Kaoru concentrated on the
street while beside him the dressed cyborg sits relaxed on the seat. Still
sleeping, calm, beyond knowledge. Beyond real life and the cruel meanings
of some actions.
Sleep and death are twins on the face of the cyborg. You cannot decide if
he's dead or still alive.
Decidedly the man speaks up: "Wake up, Toshiya!"
The eyes blink a few times and finally settle on the face of the
band-leader: "What happened?"
"You fell asleep while we watched some Anime", Kaoru explains, sounding
lame to his own ears.
"Really?", the cyborg wriggles a little in his seat "I'm sorry, Kaoru-kun."
Then the face, lovely and untainted still, turns towards the road. "Are you
driving me home?"
"Great. It's very nice of you", the bassist beams at the leader, afterwards
a short silence ensues, when the cyborg seems to be lost in his own train
of thought.
"Maybe Kyo-kun will be already asleep...", Toshiya wonders aloud. Suddenly
his head turns back to the profile of his driver: "You know what?"
Indifferently Kaoru shrug, inside he desperately fights to keep his slowly
awaking annoyance at bay.
"Last night, while I slept next to him I discovered something about Kyo-kun
and I'm a little worried."
Kaoru's eyes open wide, but then he puts on aloofness as a shield: "Wh..",
his voice is raspy, before he clears his throat. "What did you discover?"
"There is something making noises in his chest. Maybe he's sick? Don't you
think he needs to see a doctor?"
First the older man is totally baffled, before he starts to laugh with
amusement and a little contempt: "That's just his heart, silly!"
The cyborg falls into wondering silence, as they near the small dirty
apartment complex where Kyo is living. "But I don't have anything like that
in my chest.", Toshiya finally mumbles and the car comes to a stop and
Kaoru feels above answering a child's question.
"Thank you for taking me home", the bassist gets out of the car and waves
back to the guitarist inside, before he enters the apartment-structure.
Almost as if the entry swallows the fragile figure.
A thought that also crosses the mind of the band-leader, but only Kaoru
smiles indifferently in his car before he drives off.

The door-bell jerks Kyo out of his reveries, he all but runs to the door,
opening it with a rush. Toshiya smiles at him, before he excuses himself:
"I didn't mean to disturb you, but I have no key." Kyo release a sigh of
relief: "No need to be sorry. My own fault for not giving you a key, ne.
How did you come back?"
"Kaoru-kun drove me. He's really nice, isn't he?" Kyo feels himself
choking, even though he tries to hide it.
"Yes, he can be", he finally utters and Toshiya gives him a puzzled look.
"I was worried about you, Kyo-kun", he admits freely, when the singer makes
no attempt to continue the subject.
"You were worried about me?", Kyo finds himself in wonder. The cyborg
strides in the kitchen to see if there is any hot water for tea left. "But
Kaoru-kun said, you were okay. And what I heard last night in your chest
was only a heart."
"Huh?", is all Kyo manages to say.
"So it's okay, I guess", Toshiya comes back with a steaming pot of tea in
his hand. "If it was something dangerous, Kaoru-kun would have said so,
"You listen to my heart at night?", Kyo is a little horrified, scaring away
from the cyborg a little.
"You were clutching me to your body and I was afraid to free myself and
wake you up", Toshiya explained. "I'm sorry."
"Oh...", the blonde stares at the floor with embarrassment. "I guess I'm
"Just glad you're okay, Kyo-kun."
Kyo knows he shouldn't feel elevated when a cyborg shows concern, but he
can't help smiling. Then he thinks about Toshiya's evening: "Did you learn
your fan-service lesson?"
"I can't really say. I fell asleep after I kissed Kaoru-kun. He said we
were watching Anime. I don't remember much." The cyborg shrugs and then
sips his tea.
Kyo blinks irritated: "How could you be watching TV while you were asleep?"
"Don't know. But I do remember every second of the show."
Kyo critically studies the face and the rest of the man sitting beside him,
nursing his tea. Something is not right, but he can't put his finger on it
momentarily. Kyo stands up, pacing the room a few times, and the cyborg
watches him.
"I think I'm tired....", the cyborg seems surprised himself. "I feel
strange, worn out. I've never felt like this before."
Kyo finds himself biting his lips, not knowing how to take that remark, but
after the cyborg has had nightmares already, he assumes that falling into
human patterns is easier than all the scientists on earth have ever
calculated. "Better go to sleep then, Toshiya", he says in a reasonably
calm and reassuring voice, astonished himself about the amount of care
shining through.
"I will", the tall man stands up, takes a few strides, before he halts and
looks down on the small vocalist, warmth sparkling in his eyes: "Thank you,
Then he's gone, before Kyo can blink again.
Don't be touched, don't care...he's a machine, a machine! You will get
hurt. Remember that under his warm skin there is only metal. Cold solid
But I keep forgetting.
He slips under the covers of hi futon to cocoon himself there, wrapping
himself in the warmth of his own arms, not caring what the cyborg is doing.

Later, maybe only seconds after his body has made a truce with sleep, he
hears the soft voice of the machine-man: "Kyo-kun?"
It is trembling.
He bolts right into wakefulness and staring into the darkness, not able to
outline the figure.
"Bad dreams again?", he asks into the blackness.
Instead of an answer he feels the long body sitting down at the edge of his
"It hurt me so much that I can't relax again. I do not dare to close my
eyes, for there I know I will be hurt." Kyo feels shivers running through
the cyborg's body, the muscles tensing against his will.
"Who hurt you? Kaoru and Shinya again?", the singer asks, almost sure that
the emotion radiating from the dark silhouette is terror.
"No, that...that anime. It hurt me so much inside, tore in me, clawed me
open. Oh, I can never ever sleep again." Loud breaths and soft trembling
only serve to scare Kyo beyond reason. What sort of animation had that been?
"May I lie down next to you again?" The singer is too paralyzed by the
consequences of either sending the disturbed artificial child away or
letting him sleep at his side, when the voice gets lower and even softer,
pleading: "Please, Kyo-kun. please."
And the singer knows he cannot deny the appeal, since he feels guilty
towards Toshiya in every of his waking moments.
"Okay, come on in", he invites the bassist, who joins the small singer
When the long legs and fragile arms have settled comfortably, Kyo sighs:
"Now, try to sleep Toshiya."
"I can't."
"As long as I'm here nothing is going to hurt you, understood?", the blond
states very profoundly.
"Yes, I think I can believe you. Sleep well, Kyo-kun."
The breathing of the cyborg grows less agitated and calm, before Kyo is
sure he's asleep.
"I'm the father of a scared cyborg....", the singer muses and shakes his
head. "Congratulations Papa Kyo." His sarcasm is surprisingly mild. He
falls asleep, before the thought can make him smile.

to be continued 

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