nika-No Heart
No Heart

by Nika

PAIRING: So long Kaoru had NC Sex with Toshiya, not a pretty picture

Here's some more of No Heart. Sorry for taking this long, but I had some
other things in mind...
[writing Ocean's 11 slash... being sick of this month]
And I like to thank all of those comments still coming in to me privately.
I adore you!
Please do enjoy

Part 13

The telephone wakes both of the two men on the futon.
Wriggling himself towards the source of the early disturbance, Kyo picks up
and mumbles a very sleepy: "Hello...?"
"Kyo? It's Kaoru."
"Who else...", Kyo yawns.
"Please bring your costumes and make-up along. We're having a photo-shoot
this afternoon."
The singer struggles with sleep for some questions: "Why didn't you say so
"I just received a call. Got it?"
"Yeah, su...", the singer is about to say, when he line is dead suddenly.
Frowning Kyo crawls back to the futon, shaking the still sleeping bassist a
little. "It's not 7.30 yet", the lax man mumbles and Kyo smiles involuntarily.
"Nope, but we have to pack our costumes and make-up. There will be our
first Dir en grey photo-shoot today."
That makes the other man sit up.
"Really really."
Toshiya grins widely, his hair mussed sleepily, his eyes still sleep laden,
but there is the always working energy in them.
"That's just... just wonderful!", he stands up and with long strides runs
to the other room, starting to pack his stuff zealously. So much like a
normal young man, so much like a human...
After breakfast, they go for the train as usual when Toshiya grins: "I've
never seen you in your costume and with make-up..."
"But you will today", Kyo grins back, holding up the quite heavy bag.
"I'm really exited!", the cyborg giggles, getting himself a ticket. "I'll
see you and all the others in costumes, too. And we'll be taking pictures
for real. Do you think that is a good omen for Dir en grey?"
"Could be. Leave it to Kaoru to make it a good one." Kyo notices the other
man is smiling still.
"Kaoru is great, ne? Aw, I feel like there are a million of tiny bubbles
tingling in my blood", Toshiya sits next to Kyo, crossing his long legs.
Kyo shakes his head at the ecstatic bassist next to him, still feeling a
little like a proud father instead of a worried father like he mostly does.
The cyborg is having emotions, that much is clear. Real emotions, or at
least, real enough to make him seem human.
Is it part of the programming? Kyo thinks he will have to talk to Shinya's
father as soon as possible.

The practice-room is empty, when Toshiya and Kyo enter.
But they spot Die's stuff and head out, to find him smoking an waiting fort
the rest.
"Do the pretty ones always come in pairs, or am I still drunk?", he jokes
when he sees Kyo and Toshiya approaching him.
Kyo snorts and lights himself a cigarette.
"Where is Shinya? And on top of that, where the hell is Mr.
better-not-be-late himself?" Toshiya giggles at Kyo's way of putting it,
earning a horrified stare from Die.
Kyo reads the questions in Die's mind and nods: "Does have nightmare's and
is scared, too", the singer mumbles into Die's ear.
"May I have a cigarette?", Toshiya asks and the red-head offers it out of
pure reflex.
They smoke together in silence, Kyo feeling rather normal, while Die is
"Here you are", Kaoru finds them. "Let's get some practice done, okay?"
All three 'men' shrug and follow the leader in.

Shinya gives Die a strange, puzzles look, his face unusually tired and
open. The guitarist shrugs and grins at the drummer: "Hello Shinya-kun."
Shinya snorts and Kyo wonders what goes on in the head of the young man. Is
the drummer confused because of Die? Well, everyone knows that Die can be
Or is it because of Toshiya?
After all, the cyborg is partly Shinya's project.
Kaoru says something about the guy who will be taking the photos later, but
Kyo pays no attention.
"Hey Kyo-kun, you're not listening again", Shinya scolds him. The eyes of
the drummer and the singer meet, and Kyo tries a sarcastic smile: "Who cares?"

After the few hours of practice, Kaoru decides that it is time to go to the
appointment with the photographer. They gather their stuff and then squeeze
into Kaoru's car. Die, Toshiya, Kyo in the back, while Shinya sits next to
Kaoru in the front seat. Die argues about fairness and seniority rights,
but no one listens, except Toshiya, who seems very irritated.
"Then ask Shinya-kun if you can sit in the front", the cyborg states.
"Nah, we wouldn't want her ladyship to be uncomfortable, would we?" Kyo
rolling his eyes, sighs: "Die, just shut up."
"I would suggest the same thing", Kaoru adds coldly and in a sobered state
but with a growling Die, they drive off.

The five of them are busy getting into costumes and dressing up when the
photographer enters, his appearance oddly familiar to Kyo, who wonders
where he has seen the small man with the countless ear-piercings before.
"Guys, this is Motoi-san" Kaoru introduces him and Kyo suddenly knows who
that guy is: Kisaki's friend. Maybe even more than a friend, considering
their little lip to lip conversations.
Kisaki, drugs, hallucination, sex or darkness, release...pain. Becomes too
much to bear.
For the singer the air in the room gets like water, heavy and liquid it
rushes into his lungs with difficulty. He feels himself growing dizzy, the
harsh neon-light of the room suddenly threatening like it wants inside his
He stumbles a little, when he encounters something stable, holding him up.
Blinking he looks up, seeing the worried face of Die and "Toshiya", he
"What's up, Kyo?", Die asks, his face as worried as his voice. The singer
tries to shake it off, sighing and giving a worn smile to his friends: "I'm
Right afterwards they hear the leader's orders shouted in the room: "Get
ready, okay?"
When Kaoru turns to look at the three men, so close to each other in
genuine friendship probably, he sees something else: "Toshiya-kun, what
have are you wanting to prove with that make-up?"
The cyborg has brought up his own ideas in the way his face is painted,
obviously. His eyes are more elaborately outlined and defined in black and
white. It differs immensely from what Kaoru has taught him just some
precious days before, not only serving to make him more beautiful but also
proving that he is a factor to count in their band now. But now he looks
helpless against the onslaught of his band-leader.
"I just wanted to make sure it looked good. I want to be perfect for you",
he whispers in a shy way, making Shinya wink and shake his head.
"I think it looks just perfect on that little face of his...", Motoi takes
a good look through one of his cameras, "You simply look glamorous."
"Okay for now then..."; Kaoru mutters, while Kyo suddenly finds his hand
around the wrist of the cyborg, gently cupping the warm flesh for support.
I'm such a dumb-witted idiot, crosses his mind, when they move onto the
spotlighted area.

"First groups, then close-up's..."; Motoi explains without real interest
and emotion, cold as the lens watching the five men so intently. They pose
to look dangerous and seductive at the same time, not like Japanese men,
having been in dire need for a bassist, so much that they had settled for
the illusion of a real one.
Kyo tries to imagine, what Toshiya might look like on photos, with enoug
light to wish-wash his features even further, making him even more soft and
oh-so-ghostly pale.
With an evil smirk he even ponders the idea that he might not be on them at
all, sort of like a vampire. Something that is not really alive. And how
Kaoru would really freak out if it was like that.
That is when he notices Kaoru complain: "Toshiya-kun, you're no good. Kyo,
you too."
Kyo gives the older man a scowl: "Oh yeah? And like how?"
"You don't attract the camera enough."
"How would you know, you're standing behind me."
"You seem like a stiff stick and ooze no sex-appeal at all", a cold
statement, maybe pointing beyond posing.
"Not true!", Kyo protests. Die comes to them, trying to settle the
situation, followed by Shinya, who gives Kaoru a cold glare. After all, he
and Kyo happen to be friends of some kind, even when Kyo sometimes wonders
what kind of friendship may count for Shinya.
Die and Shinya exchange looks, both of them nodding in agreement: "Hey
guys, quarreling won't help", Die begins, when Shinya carefully stands
beside Kaoru, patting his arm: "Die-kun's right. How about, you go for your
close-up's and I talk to Kyo?"
The leader shoots deadly glares around, trying to prove his dominance
somehow: "Kyo goes for the close-up's and I'll teach Toshiya just how to
pose right. Understood?" Die sighs.
"I guess that won't be necessary..."; Kyo points out evilly, his eyes
resting on Toshiya. Kaoru's eyes fly to the bassist and the singer can
almost hear the blood streaming from the leader's face, while his hands
right into fists, when the leader realizes exactly what is going on there.
A long and elegant hand curved over Toshiya's black-clad hip-bone,
directing it firmly, the other cupping the small chin carefully, words
whispered into the delicate ears. The expression on Motoi's face is cool,
triumphant. The growing need in his eyes is radiating right to the spectators.
The scene unfolds a little before them and they all know what is going on:
Toshiya's being seduced.
"Motoi!", the lead-guitarist grumbles, before he is beside the two men in a
"Stop it, that's enough", Kaoru hisses. Motoi only laughs:
"Hey, what's wrong with you, Kaoru-kun? I was only teaching this alluring
bassist of yours how to pose right in front of the camera."
"That is my job", verbal venom is spit into the photographer's face, Kyo
feels surprised about Kaoru's reaction , when he hears Die mumble: "What
the heck...?" and Shinya finishes: " going on?"
"Oh my", Motoi plays mock-shocked, "Jealous, are we?"
"Sod off!", Kaoru growls and finally the other man pries his fingers from
the man-made body, the illusions of life. The 'victim' himself is only a
little confused: "I'm sorry, Kaoru-kun. All he wanted to do was helping me.
It won't happen again."
A possessive flicker lights up in the eyes of the leader: "No, it won't."
Then he draws the cyborg close to himself: "I'll show you how to pose later
in my place."
Toshiya nods eagerly, while Kyo suddenly realizes that he has bitten his
lower lip so hard, that it has started to bleed.
"Kyo-kun...", he hears Shinya's voice, worried. He turns to the younger man
and tries a half-smile, before he feels soft tissues pressed to his lip.
"I'll get that fixed for you", the drummer suggests.
He leads Kyo away from the scene, away from the light, where the
band-leader and the cyborg start to pose with each other in front of a
careless cold eye.


to be continued 

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