nika-No Heart
No Heart

by Nika

PAIRING: Die has a crush on Shinya

Finally No Heart again.
Everyone was suffering from my lame Pierrot stori
es, I'm so sorry.
It's still dedicated for the Kyo-lovers, Pike, Pink Spider and everyone who
commented on the last part.
Thank you so much.

On we go

Part 14

Surprisingly the pictures turn out to be satisfying even for Kaoru, who
studies the first copies intently. He flashes a short, cold smile at his
band, before he arches one of his elegant brows: "Okay, they'll do. I made
an appointment with a magazine for an interview and they asked for some
decent pics."

"Really?", Die squeaks, excitedly, "We're going to be interviewed?"
"Really. And I expect you all to be respectful and nice, for starters."
Some polite laughter falls lifelessly to the floor, the atmosphere tense
again, while Kyo finds his lips still hurt, knowing that remark was
actually coined on him, so he shrugs faking indifference. His eyes catch
the hand of the band-leader reaching out to grab the cyborg's in a
possessive, hard way. Marking the innocently blinking man almost.
"You're hurting me, Kaoru-kun", the cyborg states softly, a fragile smile
on his lips, his eyes seeking the ones of his tormentor, but Kaoru ignores
the silken plea. "The interview is on Saturday. Please remember that, Die-kun."
The red-head blushes, before he groans: "Mou, I was late only once or twice..."
"...or more often," the leader concludes. "I'm *counting* on you, understood?"
Kyo shivers himself by the merciless tone directed at Die, but his eyes
remain glued to the small hand crushing the larger one of Toshiya.
It's hard for him to bear the sight, but then again...
Kaoru is my friend. He helped me when I was sick and helpless.
A hopeless sigh escapes his bruised lips, before he raises his eyes to
Shinya's, questioningly. The drummer also seems to see the oldest behavior
towards his personal experiment.
"Let Toshiya-kun go," he states simply in a neutral and almost friendly
voice. Kaoru gives him a puzzled look: "Who?"
"You. Let go of Toshiya-kun's hand."
"What?", Kaoru scrutinizes his hand, seeing the cyborg's fingers, whitened
by the pressure he is using on them. "Oh that? No need to worry. I won't
break him, okay."
The blue-haired guitarist turns to leave, pulling the dependent bassist
along, no longer caring about Shinya's startled call of his name.
"See you tomorrow," Kaoru pronounces clearly before he is gone and Kyo's
room-mate too, leaving the other three band-members staring after them.
"How am I supposed to get home now?", Die asks, the first to break the
mututal astonishment and worry.
"Let's share a taxi", Shinya offers, getting his stuff together, nodding to
himself. "But before I'd like to change into trousers."
"Good idea, Shinya!", Die calls out, then grinning naughtily at the younger
red-head: "Need a hand while undressing?" The drummer rolls his eyes, torn
between emabarrasment and anger.
"Won't you ever stop, Die-kun?"
"Not until you finally let me...", the red-head gives his most dazzeling
smile, winking at the younger man.
The drummer takes a moment to ponder that. Finally he nods and says: "Okay,
I'll learn how to deal with it, since it's giong to be never." Then the red
tresses dissapear behind the door of the men's room.
The smile vapors from the handsome face and Kyo pities Die, shuffling over,
patting the taller man's arm: "You'll find someone better."
Die shakes his head. "Nah, he's just as good as I want him to be."
"Have it your way. But don't complain about a broken heart afterwards", Kyo
reminds him. Die laughs sadly: "Don't worry. Nothing much left to damage."
Somehow Kyo feels sad at those words, as if there had been more to that
than the obvious.
"Same here...", he whispers and feels utterly exiled from the world, at
least having Die in the same condition reassures him a little.
The fall into a heavy silence while Motoi packs his stuff, ignoring them at
them, broken only by a curious voice: "What are you two diong?" Both of
them gaze at Shinya, now clothed in normal jeans and a puzzled expression.
"Nothing. Just a liitle shared self-pity", Kyo explains gruff and Die nods
softly, before the ususal grin finds a way back onto the guitarist's lips:
"Now, let's call a taxi."
Shinya agrees but Kyo doesn't: "I'm taking the train."
The two red-heads shrug in unison, making Kyo smile a little then they head
off. Bvefore they're out of hearing range, he hears another "Never! Do you
hear me, Die-kun? N.E.V.E.R!"
Those two are really one of a kind.

Kyo doesn't even realize the bewildered, amused and disgusted stares he
receives in the train, still in heavy make-up and costume. The bag with his
and Toshiya's stuff is heavy and he is unwilling to let his thoughts wander
in the direction of the cyborg's well-being. Still he wonders if Toshiya
will be coming home this night and if he's okay. Regarding the unfeeling
attitude of Kaoru Kyo wonders even more.
Will this result in more nightmares?
What about the security when those occurred?
Will he find himself ripped open one night, his insides covering the
expanse of his chest?

He gets out of the train at a station that really is not the one he and
Toshiya had started from just this morning. But he knows the way to his
appointed destination well, he could even sleep-walk there.
On the outside it is a normal, modern building, maybe even a little shabby,
having already seen better days. He strolls in and enters the lift,
pressing the button, all in long-practiced unconsciousness.
When he leaves the lift, he looks around for the right door to knock at.
Memories set foot in his mind unbidden, let in by every breath he takes,
the smells, the faint noises of beeps.
He remembers waking up, scared, his body screaming from pain and
withdrawal, not knowing where he was or even if he was still alive. And
when this state was living he had preferred being dead. The man beside his
bed telling him that pats of his arm-bone, his hip and thigh-bone had been
broken so many times they couldn't have been saved. They had replaced them
with artificial bones, when Terachi-san had begged his father to do so. If
he would like another pain-killer?
Kyo also remembers laughing hysterically and trashing everything within
reach until they had stilled him with an injection.

Oh what fun I had.

He feel uneasy, watched and bare in these corridors, behind the door linger
secrets that should have not escape at any cost.
But here he is. And there is also Toshiya.
Not completely human.

He wonders, if there is "Made by Goki-Motors" imprinted on his artificial

"Terachi" says the name-sign and he demands entry.
"Come in", a well-known voice calls to him. His appearance causes surprise:
Shinya's father stands up and his face is full of worry and scientific
interest: "What's wrong? Your implants not working."
"No, please don't worry Professor."
"Is it my son?"
"Shinya's just fine, believe me."
The elderly man stands up and walks towards Kyo: "So it's the cyborg, right?"
Nodding is all Kyo can do as a reaction.
"Is it damaged?"
The blonde singer shrugs and clears his throat: "I'm not sure", finding
himself angry at the way Shinya's father has used the term "it" referring
to the man sharing his flat.
"So, tell me what is wrong with him."
Kyo nods a little, the make-up feeling like a thick layer on his skin,
itching somewhat.
"I don't know if he's supposed to but he dreams."
"Dreams? You're sure?"
"Pretty sure. He sees pictures when he sleeps. Pictures that scare him."
Judging the silence in the room Kyo concludes that the older man was busy
pondering the few words he has given. But he gives a few more clues: "He
dreamt about people in the laboratory first. The were talking about when he
would awaken...But he wasn't aware at that time, was he?" Anger is present
in the voice of Kyo, the anger he feels for the world to create a creature
like Toshiya and then shrug helplessly when it starts living.
"Was he?"
He feels horrified by the assumption that Toshiya had been conscious by the
time he had been constructed. If he had been aware... Seeing his own birth,
the way people treated him like a machine.
"You see", Professor Terachi started thoughtfully, "His brain is not
actually made out of little chips or something like that. It consisting of
living neurons connected to different data-bases. Any other form of brain
would have taken too much space, the human brain is our model for all the
AI we do. It is possible that there have been impressions and experiences
during the time he was actually not even aware in our sense of the word."
"How cruel!", Kyo blurts out in a low growl, only then realizing his hands
are fists, and his whole body feels ready to jump and strangle that elderly
"He is our first whole-body humanoid cyborg. His example will help to
create other, more sophisticated models who will suffer less and gain more."
The Professor stands in front of the small blonde man, his words so
deceivingly righteous, his eyes shining with determination and faith, so
very cruel, that Kyo finds himself fighting rage and tears.
"How could you even think about creating a whole-body humanoid cyborg? It's
inhuman! You're all bastards!"
"Without our research you would probably have only one arm and sit in a
wheel-chair", Shinya's father states neutrally. Kyo feels lifeless suddenly.
Of course this man is right, he would be a wreck without the artificial
parts of his body, even though they feel cold and give him nightmares. His
thoughts are running in smaller and smaller circles, until only one
remains: Toshiya.
It's still not right for his room-mate and the man who sleeps beside him in
the night. Who smiles so heartbreakingly sweet, searching for all the
answers to his pressing questions about life.
Following his duties and orders and...his program.

"Kneel down!", a cool voice orders the cyborg.
Without the slightest resistance the humanoid machine follows the command,
kneels before the already naked man, his eyes half lidded not by desire but
sleep-mode. The clothes of the cyborg are still intact, not even rumpled,
kneeling in front of the seated band-leader, his neck exposed and opened,
again connected to the laptop with a thin cable, this time a sci-fi movie
is flickering on the screen and inside of his head.
"Come closer!", the next instruction hits the ears of the young-looking
male-form, crawling closer. The human-being reaches out and grabs the head
of the cyborg with both hands. "Open your mouth!"
The painted, pliant lips open according to the command.
"Open it wider!"
He follows the order without any emotional flicker, before the band-leader
nudges him to his protruding erection, inserting himself in the warm cave.
"Suck it!", the order is no longer cold but urgent and possessive. "Do it!"
The lips close around the fully erect member, starting a soft, probing
suction. The band-leader starts to man and exposes his throat to the cool
night-air, when the warmth suddenly disappears.
With a jolt he stares at the submissive man between his widely-spread legs,
who says in a lame and emotionless voice: "It tastes bad...", eyes still
oblivious, there is no difference in his muscle-tone or breathing pattern.
He doesn't even look at his tormentor, just a few words, before Kaoru barks:
"Follow my orders, Toshiya!"
Dutifully the head dips down to his member, sucking it.
"Good! Stronger!", the band-leader groans. The suctions grows stronger,
while Kaoru's finger s tangle in the long silky hair, making the head bob
up and down.
When he explodes into the cyborg's mouth it is one of the most triumphant
orgasms he every had.
And still the pretty, painful and humilitaing pictures are dancing inside
of the sleeping cyborg's head.

to be continued 

back to deg fics pg 3