nika-No Heart
No Heart

by Nika

Dedicated to Kyo-lovers and especiallly Pike *glomp*
Thank you for reading *bows to the lovely commentors*
And -tadah- I bought a new keyboard, which happens to be blue -_-, not a
pretty sight, I'm teling you.
[I'm listening to the LOTR OST while writing this...]


As Kyo stands in front of the closed door, he becomes aware of his own
accelerated heartbeat and the proximity of his living-quarters. The small
rooms seem to shrink on him, as he takes a few deep breaths and braces
himself to face the not all human man in the small room.
His steps speak of further hesitation, entering the room with his lower lip
clenched between his ivories. The cyborg is still standing, the light harsh
on the white clothes and on the open and attentive face.
"The others are gone", Kyo declares in a voice, that doesn't belong to him,
but to some frightened little rabbit. The fact in processed into the brain
of the bassist, but he keeps silent, his attention directed at the small
blond man, now his only source of knowledge and information.
"I'll get this place cleaned a little and afterwards we can go to sleep, okay?"
"Okay", Toshiya uses his newly acquired vocabulary. The singer picks up
dirty glasses and plates, some raamen bowls under the attentive watch of
his new room-mate, afterwards he tries to balance them to the kitchen,
deciding that there are too many and leaves some. But his guest mimics his
actions and shortly after he has piled the dirty dishes in the sink, the
slender figure comes after him and gives him the rest. Kyo's eyebrows rise,
he is a little stunned: "Thanks", he mumbles.
"I'd like to help you."
"Wow, a self-initiated sentence and even a purpose...", the singer mumbles,
then clasping his hand over his mouth. Toshiya may be a machine but he can
hear every word. "I'm sorry, Toshiya-kun," comes the whispered apology.
"Because of what are you sorry?", Kyo thinks he can almost see curiosity
sparkle in the now vivid eyes.
"Sarcasm. I didn't mean it. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings." Even when
saying that he is wondering if something like Toshiya can have feelings and
Can you insult a machine?
"I suppose you have not.", after a short pause the bassist gives his
quizzical answer, making Kyo sigh.
I guess I'm not a good father after all, rings in his head and he starts
the water to do the dishes, still every of his gestures is taken into the
brain of the man standing in his kitchen.
"Do you know how to dry the dishes?", the blond asks, thinking: Hell, if I
have to put up with him, I might as well get some advantages out of it.
"Yes, I do. I learned it at my parents", Toshiya takes a towel and begins
to dry whatever Kyo gives him, just like he was a human guy. Kyo advises
him, to put the dishes away, instructing him where to pile what, noticing
that the taller man seems more at ease once he could fulfill a known task.
Maybe they taught how to do chores? The Singer guesses, when they are done.
Grabbing some tea from the run-down fridge, probably older than Kyo
himself, he takes a long gulp from the bottle. "You want some?", he offers
the bassist.
A slender hand takes the bottle and with a long gulp [ack indirect kiss
o.O] the liquid vanishes inside the bassist's stomach. Or whatever there is
inside of him, Kyo thinks but tries to avoid to imagine how the man's
insides might look like.
"Wow, you've been thirsty, what? Feel free to get something from the fridge
whenever you're thirsty, okay? No need to be polite around me, I'm not
really polite to others either."
"Okay, I will remember that."
Kyo sighs and buries his heads in his hands: "I'd really wish you would
stop talking like that, Toshiya."
"Tell me, what would sound better", the cyborg requires, making Kyo's face
"Okay is enough. Or something like 'sure' or "yeah' is also fine. Or just nod."
Toshiya nods.
And nods.
He nods until Kyo cries out: "Enough!"
The singer is not sure if he should laugh or run away screaming.
He counts up to 111 and lectures his cyber-student: "A few times is enough,
This time Toshiya nods accurately, making Kyo grin.
"Okay, sleeping time!", the small face lights up and since he's sure,
Toshiya won't do anything by himself, he drags him back to the couch again.
"Wait a minute, Shinya gave me one of his old track-pants and some old
shirts for you to wear at night", Kyo gets them from his own tiny room and
holds them out to his guest: "Now you wear them for bed. I hope you know
how to undress and get dressed again, because I certainly don't want to do it."
"I do."
"Then wear this. Before, I will show you how to turn this couch into a bed.
Watch it closely."
And Toshiya follows his orders like a little pet.
When the couch is unfolded and the bedcovers are spread Toshiya nods and
says: "I am able to do that on my own from now on."
Kyo sighs in relief, at least he won't have to do that every evening for
the rest of Toshiya's stay with him. "And in the morning make it into a
couch again. Practice starts at 9.00 and Kaoru hates it when we are late,
so we get up at 7.30, okay?"
"Sure", the answer is more natural than before, even the voice gets smoother.
"Good. We will have to take the train and that really makes me sick
sometimes. Now get to bed, okay? Brush your teeth. I'll be in the next room
if you have any questions."
Toshiya nods and Kyo thinks communication is getting much easier with every
The blonde singer undresses easily, gets into his pajamas, feeling sleepy
already and his eyes are getting smaller and smaller. The new band-member
seems to get along just fine, much to his delight.
Didn't want to get inside of his pants on the first evening, he thinks and
giggles a little at his own dumb joke.
When he tumbles in the bath-room, he notices that Toshiya is standing in
front of the mirror, brushing his teeth zealously, looking like a small
boy, Shinya's pants a little too short. The tall man recognizes Kyo and
gives him a smile suddenly, making the blond jump. The smile looked almost
genuine, close to the one of a real human being. A little toothpaste is
making his full lips look white and with the human appearance it is for the
first time, that Kyo get the idea that the new bassist could really be
attractive. Kyo answers with one of his own smirks, turning out to be more
friendly than they usually are.
He grabs his own brush and scrubs his teeth with a vengeance, gargling a
little then mumbling: "Sleep well, Toshiya." before he shuffles to his
waiting futon. He falls onto it and slips into a deep slumber almost
Somehow his dreams betray his peaceful slumber.
He runs through his own veins, joining the dance of his blood, celebrating
life but ends up on the shores of a destructed bizarre world of metal and
wires. Just like freshly sprung out of the head of H.R. Giger. And it is
warm and alive. Pulses of energy rise through the cables, faking an image
of life.
That's when he wakes up.
"Damn all dreams...", he whispers in the unanswering darkness, then he gets
up to take a pee, since he doesn't want to get back to sleep right away, as
long as the dream is this vivid before his eyes.
After he has found some relief, he peeks into the room of his new
band-mate, to see, if the cyborg is asleep.
It takes some time until his eyes have gotten used to the darkness inside,
but when they do, he frowns.
Toshiya sits on the bed, knees drawn to his chin and stares without blinking.
"Toshiya," Kyo scolds and enters the room, his feet bare, "I said you
should sleep. This way you will be no use in the morning."
The artificial man turns his face to the singer: "This is what I always do
when someone says I should sleep."
Kyo slaps a hand to his forehead and wails: "I don't believe it! Why me,
why?", earning only a slightly puzzled glance from the person in question.
Kyo's brain comes up with something Shinya had said earlier: '...also gave
him memories of a family...'. Shouldn't that have contained some everyday
life information? "Listen, Toshiya! Didn't your parents teach you how to
sleep properly?"
"Not as far as I can recall."
"What stupid kind of Data did Shinya's father feed you with?", the singer
calls out, before he remembers that he thing with the stupid data inside is
still listening.
"...I don't understand..." comes the faint statement. It almost sounds
"I'm sorry", Kyo sighs. "Okay, I'm gonna teach you now. At first you lie
back and draw the covers over you, preventing you from getting cold in the
night, okay?"
"Okay", but still the cyborg does not prepare to do how he is told. He
simply listens to Kyo and does not change his curled up position.
"Follows every order? Yeah, right...", the blond mumbles under his breath.
Determined he tips the cyborg on the shoulder. The man-machine twitches a
little, before his attention is drawn back to Kyo.
"Okay, metal-head, look at me and follow my example."
The singer opens the covers, glides under them and cuddles himself
comfortably on the side. He feels the cyborg doing the same.
"And what am I supposed to do now?", Toshiya asks.
"Now you relax all muscles and feel the comfort of lying down. Can you feel
it?" Kyo gulps at his own words. Toshiya probably can't feel it. A pause
occurs, in the meanwhile Kyo feels too comfortable to care much about it.
"I'm not sure", comes the honest but late answer, "But it's better than
The sleep-laden voice of the singer continues: "See? Okay, an now that
you're relaxed, close your eyes and let sleep overcome you. It works
for..." Kyo yawns whole-heartedly, "It works for me almost every time."
"Then I will close my eyes." And for the first time in five weeks his eyes
are closed for longer than a just a blink. The face relaxes and the cyborg
listens to the breath of his band-mate getting longer and deeper.
"...uuuhhmmm...", sighs Kyo, already back on his way to slumberland.
Toshiya keeps his eyes shut and waits for sleep to overcome him, whatever
that means, while he keeps the dreams in Kyo at bay.

yes, now we will see how Toshiya fits into the music-making of the band


to be continued 

back to deg fics pg 3