nika-No Heart
No Heart

by Nika

Sorry for taking my time, but I've got to work over x-mas and no time left
to write...
This part is rather dry, I'm sorry for that.
Thank you for all the philosophic feedback mails.
*glomps around*

Part 8

The next morning, when the alarm begins to hit Kaoru's ear, he finds a warm
body beside his own and sees that the cyborg is already awake. Actually
Toshiya is still awake, but that fact stays unknown.
The leader rubs his eyes and sits up: "Morning", he greets his artificial
"Good morning", the other man replies, his voice seems dry.
"Time to get up, I guess," Kaoru yawns, his sight finally adjusting to
daylight, and he recognizes the blue strands between the black ones,
spilled over his spare pillow. "I really looks good on you, Toshiya-kun,"
he notices and also is puzzled that on Toshiya's face there is no sign of
stubble. His face is as it had been the evening before: clean. The cyborg
just nods, before they both get out of bed.
"Can I occupy the bath first?", the leader asks and his guest nods again.
So he vanishes inside the small room, going through his morning routine,
his mind still gnawing at the perfectly flawless morning face of the bassist.
When he comes out again, he finds the table cleaned, fresh tea standing on
it and whatever not too old crumbs he had left for breakfast. Surprised he
smiles and raises his eyebrows: "Ah, that's what Kyo taught you, I see."
"No, my parents taught me. I've expected you to want some breakfast.", the
cyborg rises and carefully picks up his clothes: "And, we shouldn't be
late, should we? Please, go ahead and eat. After all, Kyo-kun told me, you
don't like tardiness." He bows a little, leaving a puzzled Kaoru behind.
"So, that's what Kyo told you...", he whispers, sitting down at his table
and trying to shrug off a strange feeling.

During the short trip in Kaoru's old run-down car, the cyborg inquires:
"About this fan-service stuff; Kaoru-kun..."
"Is it alright the way I do it, or should I practice some more?"
Kaoru sighs as he thinks back to the rather unemotional, hard experience of
the other's kiss: "You definitely should get more practice. Look, I'm going
to show you what I mean when we get there, okay?"
"Okay", the cyborg grins like an angel and settles in the seat.

When they enter the practice-room, everyone is already present.
"Morning!", Kaoru and Toshiya call out in unison, before they notice
someone, who wasn't expected to be present.
"Professor Terachi!"; Kaoru calls out amazed when he recognizes Shinya's
father. At the same time Kyo claims: "Woah, what happened to your hair,
"Good morning, Niikkura-san"; the older man greets the leader, then he
frowns when he sees the cyborg: "Right, what happened to his hair?"
The professor shakes his head a little scoldingly, while Kaoru lowers his
eyes, knowing that Toshiya is not officially theirs right now. However, a
soft voice floats through:" Kaoru-kun dyed my hair, because if I look
beautiful and perfect, it'll help the band. Hara Toshimasa, pleased to meet
you." The cyborg bows to the elderly man, no memory of his maker left in him.
The man who created the man-machine knows that very well, since he had
erased all the memories from Toshiya's brain himself, so he bows in reply
and introduces himself, as if he and Toshiya would be meeting for the first
time: "I'm Professor Terachi, Shinya's father." Kyo bites his lips shaking
his head softly, the whole scene appears like a grotesque play to him, and
his eyes widen, as the Professor hisses two words: "Toshiya, sleep!"
Vivacity vanishes from the cyborg like it never had been there in the first
place. The man-machine turns into a man-like piece of art, a statue,
elegantly bowed, life-like but lifeless in any other way.
Kyo, Kaoru and Die gasp, while Shinya just goes on with studying the papers
he holds in his hands.
"Basic commands", the Professor explains with a shrug, as he sees the
shocked faces. "Just combine his name with one of those commands and he has
to obey. The team thought it would be best, if you would have some tool of
absolute control over him. This 'sleep' command also shuts down his input
functions. Meaning, he won't remember a thing about this."
Kyo can't help but stare at Toshiya. Bitterness and a painful sadness fill
his throat somehow and he gulps, turning his eyes away, unable to stand the
sight any longer. The singer gulps and decides to busy himself with
lyrics, poems....Anything but seeing this degradation.
And have proof again, that the bassist really is a machine.
"Those commands will work on him with any of you four and me. I gave Shinya
a list, but may as well tell you that those commands are mostly to prevent
Toshiya doing harm to himself or others. Also his basic commands work when
he's in this state."
Kaoru nods, his eyes shining. So this is a giant toy after all. Die seems
rather skeptic: "Doing harm? Like what? Trying to kill us?"
A uncomfortable silence followed the question, even Shinya looking up to
his father.
Terachi blinked a few times, before he sighed: "It's not likely, but since
he is the first of his kind we cannot exclude the possibility completely.
That's why we installed the basic commands. You can order him to stop,
sleep, run, follow you and wake up again."
Die seems about to say something, but is stopped by a raised hand of the
drummer, almost as if the drummer holds some inaudible orders of his own
over the red-head.
As a demonstration, the professor takes Toshiya's hand: "Follow me,
Toshiya", the elderly man turns to the band-members: "Also, when he's in
this 'sleep-mode' he follows your orders."
The two men head towards the worn out sofa, where Kyo had tried in vain to
scribble into his little book, before he heard the revelations of the
professor. He can't take his eyes of the cyborg now in a sort of morbid
fascination. A possible killer, a machine, a cyborg...
Also the men running around naked in his apartment, teasing him the other
He gets up from the sofa when Terachi and the cyborg settle down: "Sit down
and lower your head."
When the bassist's head is down, the professor opens the slot and everyone
can see inside Toshiya again. The genius babbles on: "When Shinya told me
about Toshiya's behavior I decided to check on him. Did he do anything
"Like what?", Kyo asks, his knuckles white from the firm grip he has on his
book, in his brain a voice is screaming that this is all wrong. That there
should be no being that is accessible with simple tools.
Kaoru comes closer an sits beside the genius, when Terachi gets a lop-top
and links it to one of the slots in Toshiya's lower back of the head.
"I mean, we are no experts on proper cyborg-behavior", Kyo adds, knowing
very well, that he tends to react with sarcasm to situations that scare him
or make him feel uneasy.
But the professor and Kaoru stare at the flickering screen, while the
computer locks in into the brain of a blue-haired beautiful man-designed
thing, and they feel no need to answer the blond singer.
Shinya joins the group, also taking interest in the data displayed on the
screen, when Die sighs, goes to Kyo and whispers: "It would have been
better, if we had taken an ugly, but all human bassist."
The singer looks up to the taller man: "Die..."
"He is beautiful, yes, talented too, but I don't wanna get killed by a
robot lacking a few common-sense bytes." The red-head looks at the three
men eyes locked on the numbers and statements displayed before them. Then
the guitarist breathes heavily before he presents a grim smile to Kyo:
"Sorry. I don't know what to think anymore."
Kyo only realizes that the strange lump in his throat is now centering in
his stomach, and he also has a urge to hug Die for comfort.
The professor explains the lock-in procedure to Kaoru and Shinya.
"...this is when he prompts for a pass-word, upon entering the one for
memory access you're there!" The man turns to his son: "You still have all
the passwords, don't you Shinya?"
The drummer nods, while Kaoru points to different sections of Toshiya's
memory: "What is that?"
"This is the section, where he stores new experiences."
"And this?"
"Things that make no sense to him."
"That one's rather big. Daily memories?"
"Yes, it self-deletes every moth, only important things make it into
permanent memory."
Kaoru goes on asking about everything he could see, while Kyo felt like puking.
"I will answer your questions later, Nikkura-san, let me see about some
things first", the professor proclaims, making the leader shut up and then
swift fingers dance over the key-board.
After a while the fingers stop and the professor freezes.
He doesn't move for some time just staring at the screen.
"Father, what is wrong?"
The professor stands up, folds his hands behind his back and starts pacing
up an down, only after a few rounds he turns to his son: "It is almost
impossible, but he is in advanced mode already, he triggered it himself."
"What?!" comes out of five mouths, afterwards questions fill the air:
"How?" and "When?".
"I can't say exactly, cause he overwrote the security protocols and
installed his own. I can't access him there at all. Even the log on the
operation is code protected. All I can say that in a situation, when his
basic mode didn't allow him to assess the situation his program decided he
needed more aspects to act upon. It was a logical conclusion, since he is
programmed to learn and act."
Kyo thinks of time, when Toshiya just vanished to the toilet. Around him
thoughtful silence is like a thick layer between the people involved.
He dares to break it: "So, what does that mean for him and for us?"
"We actually wanted him to evaluate the world around him in a neutral way.
For example, he should find out: someone smiles, that is good, someone
screams at me and curses that is bad. Just for a basic human value system,
but now he has connected experiences of good and bad to an output of
hormones. Endorphins will be released or adrenaline and other hormones. We
planned as an advanced stage towards becoming more human."
Terachi studies the data again: "I've got to make a report to the managers
ad the team at once. This is so much more promising than we had ever
expected it to be." He unplugs the laptop from Toshiya's head, packs his
things, while the members of the band don't know what to say or how to act.
Die murmurs: "Is he more dangerous now?"
"Quite the opposite, Ando-san", the professor assures the red-head, "He's
gained a conscience, if you would like to put it that way."
Shinya closes Toshiya's neck, completing the skin, perfecting the illusion
of humanity. Kyo feels himself drawn to the couch, a wish to see life in
the bassist again leading him there, despite the accelerated beating of his
heart. Shinya helps his father packing the laptop and cables, Die's face is
filled with fear and wonder, whereas the leader can't decide if he is
delighted or disappointed.
"Please go on with whatever you were doing with Toshiya, " Terachi says and
smiles: "I was against the idea that we should bring such a expensive
experiment into a real-life situation, but I was wrong. I'm glad you
convinced me Shinya." The drummer nods, his face giving away pride and
insecurity at the same time: "I'm also glad, Father."
Kyo ignores them all, he leans towards Toshiya's ear: "Toshiya, wake up",
he orders softly and the yes blink instantly, before the slender figure
straightens from his crouched position.
"Huh?", the bassist looks around, realizing where he is sitting and that
there is Kaoru beside him "What happened?"
"You fell asleep...", Kyo grins despite himself still feeling
sick, "Professor Terachi is about to leave and we still have to practice."
Toshiya nods and directs to the leader beside him: "Practice, right.
Kaoru-kun, you still want to show me how to do fan-service right."
Kaoru nods lamely.
Kyo whispers: "Fan-service?"
"Yes, fan-service", Toshiya stands up, all perfect grace and slender legs
and hurries to the drummer, before Shinya can utter any protest, the
delicately curved lips of the cyborg are pressed on his. "Like this." As if
nothing had ever happened the bassist turns to the singer: "You know what
fan-service is, don't you, Kyo-kun?"
Shinya's face turns pale first, then he blushes, but all the while he is
too shocked to bring out any word, but his mouth opens and closes in
useless attempts to give any form of verbal disapproval. He looks very much
like a red-faced fish out of water. Die is the first who starts to giggle:
"Shinya-kun, the look on your face is just priceless!", followed by Kyo,
who falls on the couch, doubling over with laughter and finally joined even
by the leader, holding his stomach.
Toshiya smiles because he's made the others laugh.
Wiping away tears of laughter, Kyo sighs: "I know fan-service, Toshiya, no
need to worry,", but then it hits him. So that's it, what Kaoru was showing
the bassist the night before, kissing and fan-service. Sure, it was part of
the band-routine, but none the less not as important as the music, right?
After getting a grip on himself, Die slaps a friendly hand on the drummers
back: "Take it easy, Shinya-kun. At least your father wasn't here anymore.
And Toshiya is pretty after all. It could have been worse. You could have
been kissed by Kaoru-kun." Without any hesitation, the leader shoots at the
red-head and they lead a merry chase around the room. Toshiya watches the
scene with wonder, but stored the reaction under 'good', while endorphins
flood his system.
After the two guitarists come to a halt and Die calling :"Truce!", accepted
by a panting Kaoru, they finally settle for making music.
"I'm sorry for falling asleep, guys", Toshiya stands on his position, "I
will try to make up for it."
Kaoru gives Die a mock-glare: "That is the spirit, take an example in
Toshiya, Die-kun.", making the red-head snort.
"The new song, please", Kaoru announces. "Kyo-kun, have you already done
some lyrics for it?"
"Un, but not all. I'll sing as much as I have, okay? Tell me if you like
them", Kyo gulps and breathes in deeply, before Shinya counts to three.
His eyes flicker over the fragile appearance of the bassist and he can't
but wonder how all of this will ever end

to be continued 

back to deg fics pg 3