nika-No Heart
No Heart

by Nika

Thank you for still reading, *glomps*
This part is more light-hearted...
As far as possible, probably.
Please do enjoy.

Part 9

"It's my turn now"; Die says, as they reach the end of practice: "I'll get
Toshiya-kun tonight."
Kyo blinks, as he tried to understand the meaning of the words: "Huh?"
Also the band-leader is surprised: "You? What would you do with him?"
"Take him for a drink."
Kyo frowns, remembering that Die had just said, it would have been better
if Toshiya had never been created at all. And now all of a sudden he wanted
to befriend him?
"Drinking? Mou, Die-kun!", Kaoru complains, "He's not to be spoiled, you
know!" Kyo's head turns to the leader, seeing the man upset for some
reasons only known to himself, almost as if Toshiya is his private
possession. His new play-toy, his to form into any manner he desired.
The red-head snorts affectionately: "Come on, Kaoru. I won't spoil him too
much and maybe he likes having fun for once..."
"We had lots of fun last night!", the leader pouted.
"I bet, teaching him about fan-service, ne...", Die's voice pitched higher,
making sweet fun of the leader. Kaoru growls.
"I don't want our bassist to sit in a dark bar and waste his brains with
alcohol. God knows, yours is diminishing constantly already", Kaoru shoots
back, making Die gasp and pout, before the leader continues: "And what will
you show him? How to dig women?"
"For example," Die triumphs, "Better than having him kissing our very own
sweet drummer." Shinya makes a soft noise of anger, involutarily his
fingers touch his own lips, the scene of the crime, while Kyo only grins
When will they stop talking about the man like he isn't there? He's
listening and his brain is probably storing every damn word of your
worthless conversation.
"Maybe...", Kyo starts walking between the two guitarists, "You should ask
the man himself," he points towards the lone figure of the bassist, who is
intently studying his own fingers on resting on the strings of his bass.
Kaoru seems surprised by Kyo's suggestion, even annoyed, his look meaning:
"why the hell should we even ask?" while Die is pondering the singer's words.
Then he stomps over to the bassist: "Care to join me tonight for a drink or
two?" Toshiya's eyes searching for signs in the face before him he could
recognize and would tell him, how to react to the question. After some time
he just goes for the most well-known solution: "Sure."
"See?!", the red-head teases the leader. "He wants to. So, no fan-service
practice tonight, I'm afraid."
Kyo sighs, relieved but also a little worried for the cyborg. The way Die
looks at Toshiya is much more to his liking than the way Kaoru's eyes shine
when they take in the tall and attractive man.
Shinya has regained his usual composure enough, to state: "I hope you know
that you have to pay for any damage done to him." and neither Kyo nor Die
are sure if that statement is supposed to be a joke. Toshiya is obviously
not offended, since he goes to the drummer and smiles at the thin man: "I
will take care of him, no need to get worried."
Kyo feels laughter bubbling up from within, hoping that Toshiya is teasing
the drummer just like he did to Kyo the morning before, beside him Die is
giggling and even on the solemn face of the leader a smile appears.
"I guess that settles it. Toshiya-kun, let's go", Die announces, the cyborg
nods, following the red-head out of the door.
But the guitarist comes to a stop.
"Wait a minute, Toshiya-kun", he orders the cyborg and then Die runs to
Kyo. "I'm gonna deliver him to your place afterwards, okay?"
"Huh, why?", the singer wonders, but somewhere inside of him he's glad that
Die is willing to do that. "I guess, you know him best, Kyo-kun", Die nods
and then he smiles: "So don't worry, ne."
A jealous glance is resting on Die, as he returns to the bassist "Don't
spoil my clothes, Toshiya-kun!", the voice of the leader is hard, answered
by a cheery: "Understood, Kaoru-kun." And when the two men are gone,
silence sneaks in again. The men busy themselves with packing away the
expensive equipment
"I'm going home", Shinya utters, getting his bag. "See you tomorrow." The
painfully thin young drummer hurries out, leaving only a strangely tense
leader and the singer, who thinks about getting some food and watching some
drama on TV. Waiting for the cyborg to come...home.
"Kyo-kun?", he suddenly hears the voice of the leader and he looks up into
the eyes of the leader. But the blue-head seems suddenly reluctant to go on.
"What's it Kaoru-kun?"
"He's not human, you know?"
"I know", the blond takes his bag, the sentence lingers unfinished between
them. When Kyo looks back he seems sad and tired: "But does he too?"

In a bar Toshiya is placed at the bar and Die sits down beside him, looking
around. The cyborg takes in details and stores them away for further use,
when the guitarist asks: "What will you have, Toshiya-kun?"
"What is Die-kun's choice?", the bassist eyes fix on the red-head's. Die
feels a strange fluttering in his chest, almost as if he's seen through
with x-ray eyes. "..Beer...", he urges out.
"Then I'll take beer, too."
With a dry throat the guitarist orders two beer, seeing the intent stare
from Toshiya, studying his every little gesture and remembering every word.
Die took the two glasses and nodded to Toshiya: "Let's go for a table.
Follow me."
Taking a deep gulp after finding one table in a more secluded area, Die
watches the cyborg following his example. Shortly he wonders if alcohol
will have any effect on the man-made brain, if the bassist can feel any
kind of intoxication at all. But in the end it doesn't really matter.
"See, Toshiya-kun," he starts, but other words won't come. So he takes
another sip of the lightly yellow, sparkling liquid. "What you did to
Shinya-kun today was very cool", he finally mumbles into the beer.
"But Shinya-kun wasn't very happy, was he? You were laughing, but he
wasn't", Toshiya muses, following his observations of the earlier events.
Die laughs bitterly: "He never expects something like this It wasn't
exactly his kind of humor, you understand?" Another round of bitter laughter.
"And he never ever anticipated anything like that coming from you of all
"Anything like...what?" Toshiya's face gets blank.
"Something like a kiss or any physical contact." Die offers a cigarette to
the bassist, who takes it, then waits until Die lights it for him.
"Kaoru-kun told me, you do that to each other...kiss, touch and nuzzle each
other's necks..." the voice gets empty. Die laughs again, his head leaned
back. "We do. But actually, Shinya-kun is not part of it. I guess, he
thinks he's above such things most of the time and when he does
fan-service, he's the initiator, cause he the strong, independent one. See
what I mean?" Toshiya tilts his head, and in this moment he looks so
stunningly beautiful, that Die's heart suddenly aches for the duration of
three beats.
"I don't really understand", the cyborg admits. Die sighs and takes a deep
drag from his cigarette: "You've seen Shinya's daddy today, haven't you?"
"When Shinya told his old man, that he wanted to become a musician instead
of taking after him, he wasn't really pleased. He tried to urge Shinya at
least attempt to enter Todai [Tokyo Daigaku] and study something useful.
But Shinya resisted all the way. He was stronger than the will of his
father, see? And now he sees to that he won't be used by anyone against his
The head of the artificial human tilted to the other shoulder, his hair
sliding over his neck, shining enticingly in the soft light of the bar.
"So, I offended Shinya-kun?", he asks, his voice showing signs of stress.
"I have to apologize to him."
"Don't bother, Shinya needs someone to get him back to earth, sometimes."
Again laughter pearls out of Die's mouth, scaring away anything deeper.
"If you say so, Die-kun", Toshiya says obediently, seeing a paradox in the
way the other man acts, speaks and in his mimics changing from sad to angry
and finally somehow betrayed.
"Believe me, Toshiya-kun. I've tried to apologize to him once, shortly
after I've met him and 'don't bother again' was all he ever said. He thinks
he's invincible."
The beer is emptied with Die's last gulp and he waves to the waiter for
another round, before he turns to Toshiya again, who is apparently still
pondering the guitarist's statements about Shinya.
"But he isn't?", the cyborg finally asks, after the beers has arrived.
"Shinya is not invincible?" The laughter is even more biting this time,
when Die says: "No, he isn't. No one is." The guitarist looks at Toshiya's
still half-filled first glass : "We're all just weaklings, you know. I am,
Kyo and Kaoru are and even Shinya is one."
The cyborg takes this information and decides to put it to a test later on.
"You're not drinking, Toshiya-kun?"
" I've had enough already."
"Only half a glass...", Die wonders and glances at the cyborg with a
skeptically raised eye-brow. "Are you drunk?"
A smile appears on the perfect face: "No."
"You're really strange, Toshiya-kun. You'll never pass as human if you
behave like that.", Die blurs out, unthinkingly. When he realizes what he
has said, his eyes widen in shock and he clasps a hand over his mouth: "I'm
sorry, so sorry. I didn't mean to..."
The face opposite to his own is becoming blank, the eyes unblinking, very
much like the machine that he is underneath that human coating. Is the
bassist even breathing? Does he need to breathe at all?
The face is frozen to this state and Die gets worried.
"Are you okay?"
"Really? You don't look so good..."
"I'm alright."
"I didn't mean it...I.. It was just a stupid joke. A joke, you see?" Die's
voice falters into a murmur, since the face of the cyborg is still unmoved.
"Please, forgive me". he whispers before he realizes he's begging a
man-made doll for forgiveness. Can such a thing grant mercy?
"It's okay, Die-kun. I'll try to mend my behavior, so it will fit the
band." Even while saying that, nothing moves except his lips and Die feels
guilt and fear.
Maybe he has damaged the cyborg?
"I guess we're better leaving and get you to Kyo...", the red-head whispers
and drags the cyborg up from his chair to the exit, paying the beers.
They stumble onto the street, darkness has conquered the Tokyo night, while
the city tries to defeat it with colorful and piercing lights.
Die seeks a taxi, not caring about the fare and gives Kyo address, while
Toshiya sits beside him, silent, fragile, unmoved... maybe out of order.
'... I hope you know that you have to pay for any damage done to him...'
Kaoru's words echo through the red-head's brain. He hopes earnestly that
the cyborg is okay.
Just some words babbled cannot damage him, can they?
When they arrive at Kyo's door, he rings the bell often enough to show the
world that he's scared and nervous. The singer opens with a annoyed glare,
but when he sees the two figures, his face changes into a question-mark.
"Die, already here?", noticing the distress in the red-head, he waves him
in. "Come on in, Toshiya", he tells the cyborg, who follows the order.
After getting rid of shoes and jackets, Kyo leads them into the tiny room,
now Toshiya's.
"what's wrong? Did something happen?", the singer asks the guilty-faced
guitarist. With an almost shy look at the cyborg, Die hisses to Kyo: "I've
said something wrong!" This confession raises the interest and alarm of the
singer: "What did you say?"
"That he doesn't behave human-like..."
Kyo doesn't know if he should scold Die, laugh or simply wait until a
brilliant idea lights up in his brain. He rolls the words of Die around in
his head, hoping he can measure the impact the cyborg might have suffered
from those words spoken so easily.
If someone would say that to me, I wouldn't mind. But I'm human after
all... But he doesn't know he's not human. Why should something like that
make him react?
"Kyo...?", Die pushes questioningly. "Is he... screwed up?"
Kyo gets up, his face close to the cyborg's, checking the eyes, the lips,
the silky skin, all of the facial features; still he can't answer Die's
disturbed question.
"Toshiya? Are you okay?"
"I told Die-kun already that I'm alright. He was worried for me", the
bassist answers truthfully, and finally he blinks. When Die sees that, he
releases a long-hold breath of relief.
"he's okay, Die."
"I'm glad. You really scared me, Toshiya-kun", Die admits and the cyborg
bows deeply: "I'm sorry for making you worry."
"Forget it, just glad you're okay", Die stands up, his face filled with
gratefulness, making him young and vulnerable. "See you tomorrow!"
As the red-head turns to go, Toshiya's voice reaches him: "Will you take me
out drinking again, Die-kun?"
Fear and wonder cross Die's face, before he grins good-natured: "Only if
you're up to it the next time."
Then he leaves, hunting for his shoes and afterwards for the last train home.

to be continued 

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