Untitled

by Takako

It's just a simple letter written to Toshiya from . . . ? Any comments
appreciated, please send to takako93@cs.com. Thanks!



Toshiya,

    You've never asked me before how you have affected my life. In what
ways
you have impacted, enriched and filled it. But I have. So many times,
I've
looked at your face and felt something that words just aren't worldly
enough
to express. Taken in by your physical beauty but happier to know that
what
lies underneath is even more attractive, more wonderful and holds
strong. The
feeling is a mixture of . . . happiness, I suppose, and drops of
elation and
peace. In the simplest words, you take my breath away.
    Every time you look at me, I want to give you anything, something,
everything, all at once. It amazes me how someone like you, has been
such a
large part of my life. I can't think of any other way to say it, so
thank
you. Thank you for hugging me when I needed it, and more importantly,
when I
didn't need it. Thank you for putting up with my rough fits and
overconfident
swaggers. Thank you for loving me in a way that is both unconditional
and
unlimited. For the soft brushes against my cheek, and the light
squeezes of
my hand.
    Thank you for being able to bring tears to my eyes just by standing
there. What you've brought to my life, and I tremble even to write it,
is
something I am sure I could never live without now that I've had a
chance to
taste it. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that nothing
will
ever change that. Be secure in the knowledge that without you, it's not
impossible that I might go on, but that I would never come out
unaffected by
pain or unhaunted by the sweetest of memories.
   
                                                          Die


    Die sealed the letter and let a shaky breath out that he hadn't
known
he'd been holding. Rising from the desk he licked the stamp and
carefully put
it on the envelope, wanting everything to be perfect. His lips curled
in
annoyance as he thought of his letter passing into the hands of
faceless,
careless strangers. Die decided to drop the letter off himself. His
fever was
getting worse and his vision seemed to be getting darker . . . a sharp
pain
registered in his chest and he coughed. The cough developed into a
violent
hack and defeated, Die slumped back down into the chair, his legs
unable to
support him anymore. Who was he kidding? He wasn't going anywhere. Die
glanced at the letter, angry tears filling his eyes.
    "I can't even do this last thing," he whispered to himself. He
gritted
his teeth as another spasm of pain hit him. He placed the letter back
on the
desk. It sat there staring at him, laughing. Weakly he covered it with
loose,
dirty papers and leaned back into his chair. He closed his eyes and he
saw
Toshiya. Smiling, he drifted into an effortless sleep.
 

.end.

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