tsmr-Ago, Now and Unknown
Ago, Now & Unknown


Part 3 – Ago [II]

Sometimes just the simpler words would solve every misunderstood. It just depend on when you have say it, whether is it too late or in time.

“ Toshiya are you really leaving the photography club?”

Die was surrounding Toshiya asking the later who is packing his belonging. The only reason Toshiya had given is it was the third year of university and he wants to concentrate on his studies. Moreover, Kaoru did not stop him either. This one-year was long enough to torture both Kaoru and Toshiya and Toshiya known it is time now to leave. The university only allows their student to leave their club joined at the last six month of their last year in school; Toshiya had waited for so long and finally.

Just two days a week they have to go to their club but these two days was like a year to them.

The only time we can spend together, also the time I can see you. Having you around was just like heaven to me. I love you but you don’t, why is it have to like this. Toshiya, I love you…

The last days… finally and I should be happy that I can finally leave the club. The only thing that is betraying my smile was my heart. I was aching within inside. This is the place where we have the most memory together… Kaoru I love you…

Kaoru was sitting at the corner of the room. With his hand on his camera, he was actually thinking of the past where he and Toshiya had freely talk and joke to one another. He missed those time and now he had to face the reality that the man he love is going to leave him further and maybe they won’t have a chance to… thinking of these, his heart was clutching up. How could I just let this happened?

He looks up at Toshiya… he wanted very much to tell him to stay and tell him how much he love him.

Toshiya was gathering the photo he had take where he saw one piece of it that does not belong to him inside. He take up the photo then stare at it. It was just a simple shot of the night sky with a clear view of the stars on the sky, it was a piece that Toshiya love so much. Again he felt pain in his heart, Kaoru gave this photo to him.

// “This piece is beautiful!” Toshiya say while snatching a photo from Kaoru.

The photo have a clear view of stars shining in the dark sky, it look like diamond. Kaoru smile seeing the reaction of Toshiya who was just like a young girl seeing something romantic.

“ You like it?”

“ Yes!” Toshiya answer directly. “ Why don’t you give it to me as my birthday present?”

“ No.”

“ You’re stingy, it just a piece of photo.” Toshiya pout.

Kaoru snatch the photo away from Toshiya and put it back inside his album. Toshiya pretend to be crying and leave the room where he already plans to do so as he is meeting Shinya.

“ A photo of star does not suit you Toshiya, you worth more than that. I would give you a real star if I could.” Kaoru said to the empty room.

Later that evening, Kaoru had return to the club. He wants to slip the photo into Toshiya’s album to give him a surprise when he flips through again. When he reaches there, he heard Shinya and Toshiya conversation.

“ Do you love Kaoru?”

“ You must be joking Shinya, how would I!?”

Just two simple sentences like this and it had changed so many things.


Toshiya glance at Kaoru where their eyesight met. The photo was still in Toshiya’s hand. Toshiya turns the photo facing it to Kaoru then he smile follow by Kaoru; a rare one after this one whole year of unspoken.

“ You finally decide to give it to me.”

Kaoru simply nodded his head, he wants to say something but what should he say now.

Please say something, let me hear you for the last time.

“ Kaoru…”

Kaoru was still remaining quiet.

Of course you will be angry with me for ignoring you the whole year without telling you the reason.


Please say something Kaoru…



“ Thank you Kaoru?” Toshiya finally give up. “ I leaving now, good bye.”


The echo in Kaoru was getting louder and louder, he wanted so much to hug Toshiya and tell him the entire thing that he wanted at this moment. He stare at the leaving Toshiya, he could felt the sadness in Toshiya. Why are you feeling sad?

Toshiya was holding back his tear but it seem that he had failed as his tears was dripping down his beautiful face.


Toshiya stop walking and turn around, Kaoru regain from his feeling of pain and look at Die who had shouted.

“ I don’t want to said this but…” Die exclaimed.

Kaoru was shock to see the tears at Toshiya face. Toshiya in the other hand was trying his best to wipe it off.

“ Why are you crying!?” Kaoru asked worried.

Toshiya look at Kaoru who had finally spoke to him. It was the concern of Kaoru he had always long for, it was Kaoru voice that he long for. This time, Toshiya had totally lost control on himself.

“ Kaoru, I…” Toshiya wanted to say something but he had burst out crying.

Kaoru sweatdrop.

Die frown, no one was listening to what he wanted to say now.

“ I want… to be… with… you…” Toshiya muttered unclearly.

“ What?”

“ HE SAYS HE WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!” Die shouted unwillingly at Kaoru.

Kaoru was stunned.

Die looking reluctant and jealous.

Toshiya was still crying and now his face was blushing.


At that moment, if it weren’t Die shouting at them, Toshiya will not turn back and Kaoru will never know what in Toshiya’s heart. Die was eventually the ‘match maker’ of Kaoru and Toshiya.

After that Kaoru finally get to know why Toshiya wanting to lie at the time when Shinya ask him. Now that the misunderstood had clear up and he finally know they were both in love, they had one more thing to worry about and that is what they going to do with Shinya, how are they going tell Shinya about their relationship.

Well, right after the incident, needn’t to say, Toshiya did not leave the club. The two-day of the week had become their sweet time where they can spend freely together. Die was getting mad about it but still he did not give up on Toshiya and that had created the ‘Kaoru x Die tongues battle later on’.


The stars were too bright for me but I love to have it… and you are the one.

“ Kaoru why did you decide to give me that photo?” Toshiya asked.

“ I never want to give it to you because only a real star will worth you.”

Toshiya starts to blush then he was so touch that he starts to cry. Kaoru seem to have realized it has already open out his arm waiting for Toshiya to use. “ Wahh… Kaoru I love you so much! Wahh…”

They have waste so many years, now that they finally know one another feeling, they were looking forward to make use of the time they have. From now to forever my love for you will never changed.

I love you…


Shinya had notice Kaoru’s mood recently, Kaoru was way too happy this few week and there’s only one reason behind it.

They’re finally together? I’m out of love now…

Shinya was standing outside the photograph room, he had come to make sure what he thought is truth cause no one had tell him about it. Seeing how blissful Kaoru is when Toshiya was with him make Shinya happy but also jealous. Nevertheless he have to give up which he know he should had long ago and it was the time now.

“ Shinya!” Toshiya exclaim when he sees Shinya outside the door.

Toshiya quickly put his hand away from Kaoru when he realized his hand was holding on Kaoru. Kaoru in the other hand was getting nervous. Shinya enter the room where only Die, Kaoru and Toshiya were in, giving them an expression that is longing for an explanation.

“ Please forgive us!” Kaoru speak out first knowing that Shinya had known the truth. “ It was all my fault if you want to blame.”

Toshiya stare at Shinya with pleading eyes.

Shinya pout.

“ You say you don’t love Kaoru didn’t you?” Shinya asked suddenly giving Toshiya a fuming face.

Toshiya was dumbfounded.

Kaoru was already prepared to be slap by Shinya had step forward wishing that Shinya would only do that to him and not Toshiya.

“ Hey Shinya, don’t make fun of them.” Die speaks up.

Kaoru/ Toshiya: ??

“ Can’t you just let me play for a while?” Shinya pouted then look at the two of them and smile.

Toshiya and Kaoru was confuse at the beginning, it was later that they know Shinya was trying to match make them since years ago. Finally, will it be a happy ending for Kaoru and Toshiya?


The stars glitter, so beautiful just like diamond.

“ Wasn’t it beautiful?”

Toshiya was lying on Kaoru shoulder; they were sitting on the bed facing the window where they could see the beautiful sky. Kaoru was trying to reach his lover’s handphone.

“ What are you trying to do?” Toshiya asked when he feels Kaoru moving away.

Kaoru just give Toshiya a smile and starts to compose the tune in his lover handphone. Toshiya just stay still and watch his lover until Kaoru play the tune for Toshiya. It was a………

“ So childish!!!” Toshiya exclaim when he hears the tune. “ Why is it twinkle twinkle little star?”

Kaoru hold his lover face with both his hand. “ I own you a star, just let this tune stay with you until I get you one.” Kaoru said and place a kiss on Toshiya’s lips, a passion one follow by.

“ I’m going to delete it!” Toshiya muttered and pretend to delete it. “ You always said you will give me a star but you never.”

“ I will!”

“ Ya ya you will and you have been saying this for the pass three years since we graduate from university right!?”

Kaoru sweatdrop but he had expected his lover to say it again. “ Only something like star will suit you my love.”

Toshiya ignore the topic. He left the bed and start packing Kaoru clothes. “ How long will you be leaving this time?” Toshiya asked while packing.

“ About a month.”

Toshiya pouted. “ So long?”

It had been three years since they graduate from university. Kaoru, Toshiya and Shinya were now working in the same company where Kaoru had to travel a lot to gather new picture. Die was now a free photographer who will always appear automatically when Kaoru went oversea.

The next day, Toshiya sent Kaoru to the airport. Although Toshiya had already used to Kaoru leaving frequently but still he is feeling lonely, he wants his lover to stay with him but he never tell Kaoru because he never want to interfere what Kaoru love to do.

“ Be careful.” Toshiya said when Kaoru was about to enter the departing hall.

Kaoru had notice Toshiya was pretending to be happy in front of him. He knows what Toshiya was thinking and he had planned to finish his last work before he will apply to stay in Japan. He did not want to tell his lover now because he wants to give him a surprise and them he will give him a real star…

“ Good bye, Totchi.” Kaoru said when he enters the hall. “ Take care of yourself.”

I love you…

The tune of twinkle twinkle little star came from Toshiya pocket when he was walking out of the airport after Kaoru left. Toshiya take his handphone out and see the display screen where he saw Die name flashing… “ So fast!?”

TBC… Part 4 – Now [II]


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