Forbidden Love

By Tsmrhara


The echoes of the running footstep were getting louder and louder, follow by a loud ‘BANG’ from the door and shrieking sound from people. The other students who is staying at this hostel was already use to it.

This room was the most famous room in the student hostel. It is well known by the ‘NOISE’ the room was giving out. Room 304!

“ Toshiya! Brother!” The two persons exclaim at the same time when they bump into the room.

The person inside the room puts down the book he is reading, taking down his glasses, he look at the direction towards the door where the two people was standing. He narrowed his eyes making his eyebrow seem joining together.

Putting on his spectacles again, he takes up his book. “ NO!” He added before continuing reading his book.

The two people pouted. “ Come on Toshiya, we have not even say what we wanted to tell you.” The shorter guy said.

“ Ya brother, you should listen to what we wanted to tell you first before you reject us and how you know you won’t like our idea?”

Toshiya puts down his book again, this time staring at the two people. “ NO!”

“ Heh! Listen to us first, brother!” >__<

But before he could start his sentences, he was interrupt by his brother. “ Can you tell me why are you here when you suppose to be attending your extra class to make up for the test you had failed, Miyabi?”

Miyabi let out a nervous grin and looked at the shorter guy seeking for help.

“ Don’t be so mean Toshiya, he should have some time to rest.” Miyabi nod his head in agreement.

Toshiya starts to get impatient. “ What about you Kyo? Don’t you need to works?

Kyo sweatdrop. (^^;) He could really know our schedule well don’t him? Both Miyabi and Kyo thought and communicate with one another using their eyes movement then both nodded with agreement.

“ Well, I’m applying leave, I’ve something more important now.” Kyo explained.

Toshiya seem not interested in what Kyo’s going to tell him but he was sure his brother and friend must be up to something that they must pled from him, something that’s not good from his past experience.

“ Brother…do you still remember that song which you have composed and had gone missing?” Miyabi asked.

Toshiya stared at his brother. “ You took it?”

Miyabi let out a silly expression and nod his head.

Toshiya return his brother a sweet smile. Miyabi starts turning pale. Kyo starts rolling up his sleeve getting ready to hold back Toshiya before he killed his own brother. They know Toshiya too well, if he smiles when he supposed to be angry, something horrible will come up next.

“ Cool down! Cool down!” Kyo shriek.



Toshiya finally cool down and listened to what Kyo and his brother going to tell him. Then again, he smiles at them.

They had take the song that Toshiya had composed to join in a contest and it come up to be the winner. Now they will have a chance to meet the famous pop star if Toshiya’s song is selected and to be used. It seem an easy job by just letting the composer to meet the pop star but…

“ Brother, please go!”

“ NO!”

“ Please dear Totchi!” Kyo added. “ That’s our chance to meet Kaoru!”

“ NO!”

Miyabi and Kyo pleading had been completely decline by Toshiya! The reason was because they had done something in the particular of Toshiya when they submit the form.

“ Why must I DRESS UP like a WOMAN!?” Toshiya shrieked.


“ NONONO!!” The echo of Toshiya yelling can be heard along the corridor.


The day of meeting with the famous star Kaoru, Kyo and Miyabi enter the record company with a wide smile on their face. Seem that their plan had work on Toshiya; following behind them was a gorgeous woman dress in a sexy tight leather clothing with light make-up but was enough to outstand any other woman there.

“ Why must I do this!?” Toshiya muttered behind his brother and Kyo.

“ You’re beautiful!” Kyo said follow by Miyabi. “ Kaoru will sure use your song for his next single!”

Toshiya pouted.

Miyabi and Kyo were grinning like idiot.

“ That what Kaoru must be some kind of sex maniac!”

Miyabi and Kyo stared at Toshiya for insulting their idol but dared not get mad at him.

“ Isn’t it truth!? Why must he only choose woman composer!”

Seem that what Toshiya had say does make sense. Miyabi and Kyo slightly agreed with Toshiya but still they continue saying good remarks of their idol.


Few minutes later after they enter the conference room.

“ Good afternoon!”

A woman enters the room and greets the three of them who was in the room. Behind the woman was a man with purple hair, wearing sunglasses. Miyabi and Kyo’s eyes brighten up as soon as they see the man in purple hair. Toshiya just glared at that man who seems so arrogant.

“ Kao…Kaoru!!” Miyabi and Kyo yelled. “ It’s really him!”

Happy tears were forming around Miyabi and Kyo’s eyes. It was the first time they get to see their idol at such close distance. Toshiya sweatdrop seeing the exaggerate reaction of his brother and Kyo. At this moment, Kaoru takes down his sunglasses and stared at Toshiya.

“ You must be Toshiko!” Kaoru asked.

Toshiya glared at his brother and Kyo then return his sight to Kaoru who was still waiting for his answer. “ Ya… yup I’m… Toshiko. Nice to meet you.”

Miyabi and Kyo heart rested.

“ Nice to meet you, I’m Kaoru!”


That night when they returned to the hostel, the sound of throwing chair, yelling, pleading can be heard from room 304.


The second time Toshiya gets to see Kaoru was on the day they were discussing the new song that Toshiya had composed. The work went on smoothly, Kaoru was friendly toward Toshiya and Toshiya opinion for Kaoru also improved. The only thing that does not work well was that Kyo and Miyabi could not follow Toshiya and was getting crazy.

The result of the song was good, it was sold over millions and Toshiya had earned quite a sum of money from that. Toshiya in the other hand had make clear to Kyo and Miyabi that this will be the first time but will also be the last time.

“ Ohh… my photo with Kaoru…” Kyo muttering.

“ Kaoru Kaoru… Wah…” Miyabi follow Kyo.

Toshiya stare at them then walk out of the room leaving the two mad man yelling and jumping inside the room.

“ Miyabi!”

“ Kyo!”

Both of them stop down and yell at each other name. Their eyes contact and seem that they are up to something again. “ We will never give up right!?” Both exclaim together.

Toshiya was still outside the room; he sigh while hearing what his friend and brother was yelling. “ Well, as what I have guess, they will never give up!”

Sweatdrop!! -_-;



“ PLEASE brother!”

“ Please Toshiya, I know you are always KIND!!”

“ NONONO!!!!!!” Toshiya yelled.

And there Toshiya was standing in front of the record company dressing up like a woman, follow behind him was Kyo and Miyabi grinning for the success plan they did for getting Toshiya to compose song for Kaoru again.

Toshiya enter the company unwillingly, Kyo and Miyabi smiling all the way. Then horror strike Kyo and Miyabi!

“ Please would you two stop here and wait for Miss Toshiko in another room.” The lady said to Kyo and Miyabi.

/ NO!!!/ Miyabi and Kyo was holding their head and are yelling voicelessly! That mean after they put in so much effort to get Toshiya agree to compose again but this time they don’t even have the chance to see their idol.

Miyabi and Kyo follow unwillingly after the lady and enter a room. Toshiya suddenly felt like laughing at them but he remain silent.


Toshiya follow another lady to the room at the end.

“ Nice to see you again, Miss Toshiko.” The person greet as soon as Toshiya enter the room.

“ Good afternoon!” Toshiya greet back to Kaoru.

The lady who brings Toshiya to the room leave the room, feeling weird.


“ So how’s Kaoru’s reaction?” The other office ladies gather around that lady and asked.

“ He was smiling at Miss Toshiko.”

“ WHAT!?” All of them yelled.

“ Wah… so unfair, he never smile to anyone one of us but now he’s smiling at Miss Toshiko!!!” One of them cried.

“ How could Kaoru….”


Few hours later, Kaoru and Toshiya walks out of the room still taking about the song. Toshiya eventually notice almost all the peoples in the company was staring at him especially the ladies. Some even glared at Toshiya… “ What’s going on??” Toshiya wonder.

“ Hmm… what you said?” Kaoru asked when he heard Toshiya muttering.

“ No…” Toshiya notice again, this time the expression of the ladies change to a friendly look when Kaoru look at them. “ Nothing!!” He continues knowing what is going on finally.

They are just jealous about me… suddenly an evil idea reach Toshiya’s mind, he gives a grin.

“ So how about changing this part…” Toshiya said suddenly and clutch his hand onto Kaoru’s who let Toshiya do so.

“ MOU… !!! >__<” The reaction of the office ladies.

Toshiya… Grin! Grin! ^__^


They enter the lift and went downstairs. Leaving all those staring and cursing behind the close door!

“ How about having dinner together?” Kaoru asked when they are in the lift.

“ Sure but does it matter with another two monkey around?”

“ What monkey?”

Toshiya was referring to Miyabi and Kyo who was waiting for him in the waiting room downstairs. Actually Toshiya wanted to leave them behind and enjoy his dinner with Kaoru so later he can tease them but he give up the thought knowing that they would try whatever they can to see Kaoru again. Thinking of it, Toshiya give up the idea, he know he would be involved if they did so.


“ What's taking Toshiya so long?” Kyo was getting impatient and was jumping around the room.

“ Kyo! Stop it! You look like a monkey!” Miyabi comment.

“ Yeah! I look like a monkey huh!?” Kyo sulk. “ I think you look even more like one, one that is eating banana!”

Kyo referring to Miyabi who had almost finish the whole bunch of bananas on the table.

“ WHAT!!!” >__<


Toshiya heard noise coming out of the room, he open it knowing whose the owner of those voice. Inside the room was a mess, Miyabi was throwing fruits at Kyo and Kyo was picking the fruits up throwing it back to Miyabi. Toshiya narrow his eyes, standing at the door staring at his friend and brother until Kaoru speak up.

“ What taking you so long?” Kaoru asked walking behind of Toshiya. “ What the hell going on???” ^^;

“ KAORU??” Miyabi and Kyo stop their battle, now their eyes burning with fire of joy.

“ Kaoru-san… let’s forget what I have ask earlier on, we better have dinner ourselves.” Toshiya pulled Kaoru with him.

Miyabi look at Kyo, Kyo staring back to Miyabi. Both figuring what Toshiya was talking about before they realize what going on but there’s already no shadow of Kaoru and Toshiya.

“ WAH!!! DINNER WITH KAORU… TOSHIYA PLEASE WAIT!!!” Kyo and Miyabi exclaimed. ;;__;;


Room 304.

Second song composes by Toshiya, again sold over millions. No reaction from Toshiya only that he receives another sums of money. Wish he didn’t have to do it again! Miyabi and Kyo… WE WANT TO SEE KAORU AGAIN!!

“ Toshiya Please!!”



Third song… everything turns up the same.

“ Totchi PLEASE!!”

“ NONONO!!!”


Fourth time…

Fifth time…

Until Toshiya starts making a name for himself in composing but Miyabi and Kyo never have the chance to get closer to their idol.

So it goes on…


This day, Toshiya did not go to the record company to see Kaoru instead he was asked by Kaoru to go to his house. It seems so used to as they had known each other for about a year. Toshiya and Kaoru had become friend…

Toshiya was busy preparing for his exam, it was almost a month later when he goes to Kaoru’s apartment. He press the bell, 3 mins later the door was open, Kaoru was looking sleepy but his eyes brighten up when he saw Toshiya and remember he was meeting ‘her’ today.

“ Good Morning!” Toshiya greet. “ I’ve brought you breakfast!”

Inside the apartment was definitely a mess. Clothes, empty cans, litters, eaten instant noodles cup was laying everywhere around the house. Toshiya felt his head getting giddy…

Kaoru let out a silly grin, stretching his head.

The house was totally different from the very first time Toshiya had visit. The main reason was that there is always different women helping him to clear up the mess but don’t know since when, Kaoru had all those woman rejected because he know Toshiya will keep it for him, might as well said that he wants only Toshiya to do it.

“ You should never let other woman to see this situation in your house or it will break your image!” Toshiya said jokingly.

“ Then you will be the only woman…”

Kaoru was glancing at Toshiya with serious expression.


It was brought over by Toshiya with his quick-witted joke…

Kaoru was serious…

The first time Toshiya realize how serious the matter had become… also the first time he realize what is in his heart, why he willingly helping Kaoru, why someone so stubborn like him would listen to his brother and Kyo plead… everything seem so sudden but too late.


Room 304. The very first time it was so quiet with Kyo and Miyabi around. They know Toshiya was unhappy, they did not dare to poke him neither did they know why. Quietly, they left the room…

The main problem… he was lying to his friend… he is a man…

Toshiya was sitting at his bed ‘reading’ his book. He mind was recalling what had happened in the past year, from the time he meet Kaoru until now. He did not mind Kaoru knowing that he is a man if this would to happen before he and Kaoru became friends but now…

I may lose a friend…

Is this really what bothering Toshiya? Losing a friend? Toshiya laughed, this two question he knows the answer well. Someone like him would not mind losing a friend or two and that is what bothering Toshiya…

Is it because Kaoru is more then a friend to me?


Since Toshiya left just now, Kaoru was sitting at the balcony thinking of Toshiya’s reaction when he mention about Toshiya becoming his only woman. Kaoru was surprise when he first realize he had fallen in love with a woman. It was his first time he really fall in love with a woman. At first he was attracted by Toshiya’s appearance but later when they get to know each other better, he was attract by Toshiya’s characteristic.

Toshiya was unlike other woman who only loves Kaoru for his fame. Toshiya was the very first one who had been with him for so long but only wants to be a friend of him. Maybe this is the main reason why Toshiya attract Kaoru.

I will never let you go… never let someone I love to leave me… Toshiko


2 months later.

Room 304.

Toshiya was busy packing his stuff. He will be graduated in a month time and would have to move out of the hostel. Maybe it was time for him to give up the job of composing, as he will be a working adult soon. It be time for him to give up his childish act… that means giving up someone that had taken his heart…

They never contacted since that time… Kaoru had went oversea. He did call back but Toshiya refused to answer.

His handphone rang…

“ Hello?”

“ Miss Toshiko?” The person asked.

“ Hai!” Toshiya answer, knowing that the call was from the record company.


That night, Toshiya was trying to compose the last song he had promise the company but he could not write any. He was feeling frustrated. Again he tears the paper and throws it aside. Papers were all around the floor, Toshiya was laying in between the mess.


Toshiya saw Kaoru in the afternoon. Kaoru had use the record company to call Toshiya asking him to go there. When he arrival, he was brought to the room where Kaoru is in.

“ Toshiko.” He was greeted by Kaoru immediately he enter the room.

Kaoru was inside the room holding a bunch of flower in his hand looking deeply at Toshiya.

“ What are you doing here?” Toshiya asked anxiously.

“ Because you rejected my call…every time I call you did not answer.”


Toshiya wanted to leave the room but Kaoru pulled him back. “ Wait!”

“ What do you want?” Toshiya exclaim.

“ I should be the one asking you!” Kaoru said without letting go of Toshiya. “ Why are you avoiding me suddenly?”

The question muted Toshiya.

“ I love you.” Kaoru said suddenly. “ I know you can feel it!”

Toshiya laughed suddenly. Kaoru had said out the thing that he had been trying to avoid.

I love you too I love you but I can’t!!! I’m a man!

“ Toshiko?”


Half an hour later, the two of them was sitting facing each other. Toshiya had rejected Kaoru without telling him the real reason. The only thing he told Kaoru was that he hope that they will be friends forever but they will never be lovers…

The first time Kaoru eyes reddened, he was trying hard to stop his tears from falling down… he know Toshiya meant what he had said.

“ Sorry…” The last word Toshiya said before leaving.

>End of flashback<


Another piece of paper was torn off the pad. Toshiya remember the look on Kaoru’s face when he rejected him, he remember the question that Kaoru keeps on asking… why Toshiko? Why don’t you accept my love?

Why… why… why…

He could not think of any song now. His heart is not here… how could he compose anything now? Without love what can I write?


Toshiya finally moved to a rented apartment. He had graduated from the university, few days later he will be working in a trading company and that will start his new life. The only thing that is connecting him to Kaoru was that he had not finish the composing.

From that day when he rejected Kaoru, he had not see him. The only thing he know about him was the news and magazine reporting him playing around with few singers and actors. He had been fooling around…

Many time Toshiya keeps telling himself that had nothing to do with him but still the news was hurting Toshiya like hell. He know he had hurt Kaoru… he know the pain in Kaoru because…

I have the same feeling as you.


Christmas day. The first time Toshiya see Kaoru appearing on television after so long.

I never thought just by seeing you on television will hurt me…

Miyabi and Kyo were enjoying their idol singing. Toshiya was sitting behind…

“ Brother?”

Miyabi happened to turn back and see Toshiya weeping. He was shock so do Kyo as they never see Toshiya cry especially when there is someone around. “ I love him…” Toshiya muttered.

Although it was soft but both Kyo and Miyabi heard it. Actually they had feel it and it was partly their fault to bring Kaoru and Toshiya together. Now that they had hurt Toshiya…

That night, after telling his brother and Kyo, he abruptly had the inspiration for composing the last song for Kaoru. He finishes it within three hours and name the song – Forbidden Love. It is a song that reflects Toshiya’s heart.

A few weeks after the single ‘Forbidden love’ was released, Toshiya received a ticket to the concert of Kaoru.


The day of the concert, the fans were shouting madly waving their hands and yelling at Kaoru’s name. All these were not in Kaoru’s eyes, all he care is to see Toshiya, he knows Toshiya has the ticket, he was the one who sent the ticket.

Half of the concert had passed; there is still no sight of Toshiya.

Will you come?

One song after one, the concert was ending soon. Kaoru’s heart faded… then he saw what he is looking for during the whole concert. Someone standing in the front middle of the crowds, someone wearing a pair of jean and a simple t-shirt showing his flat chest, without make-up and absolutely like a man.

That person saw Kaoru staring at him, he smile to him then he walk out of the crowds.

Finally Kaoru know the reason why Toshiko did not accept his love.

During the last song, Kaoru sing Forbidden love, now he totally understands the feeling of this song.


Toshiya walks out of the hall, there were tears in his eyes, everything end now. Kaoru know he’s a man and…

“ a woman maniac like him won’t look for me anymore… hahaha” Toshiya told himself, laughing.



Author Note: Thanks for reading this Fic… ^__^ Please give me some feedback or at least know someone reading it!! (TSMR hears someone shouting behind…)

VanillaMint: Heh! You promised me a Kaoru x Toshiya story but this is not a happy ending!! Glared!!





Ding Dong…

Toshiya opened the door and saw Kaoru standing outside his apartment. Kaoru was sweating, as if he had been rushing. Follow by was voice from Miyabi and Kyo asking who was outside.

“ It’s Kaoru!” Kaoru shouted outside the apartment.

Within seconds, Miyabi and Kyo was standing in front of Kaoru, staring with watery eyes at their idol. “ I’m free one day just for you two, the term is that leave me alone with Toshiko now.”

“ SURE!!” Miyabi and Kyo answered directly and vanished.

Kaoru entered the apartment after Toshiya. “ What you doing here?” Toshiya asked when they enter.

“ Looking for you!”

“ For what?”

“ To know you all over again!” Kaoru replied.

Toshiya sweatdropped. Kaoru already knew that he was a man and why did he want to know him all over again now? Moreover, this Kaoru looked cheeky here but at the same time, this Kaoru made Toshiya heart beat faster.

Toshiya looked at Kaoru and he gave up. “ My name is Toshiya Hara, I’m a male and the rest is the same!” Toshiya reply reluctantly.

Kaoru held Toshiya’s hand suddenly after Toshiya introduce himself. This time the cheeky look disappear, replacing it was a serious look. Toshiya felt himself blushing. “ Since only your name and sex was the only thing that changes, I assume all other is the same in you including your love for me?”

“ What make you think I’m in love with you!?” Toshiya said trying to hind his crimson face.

“ Really? You don’t love me?”

Kaoru attack Toshiya lips suddenly. He kisses Toshiya, embracing Toshiya tighter. That is the person he had been longing for so long and now Toshiya will be his. Just as he was happily thinking of it, Toshiya pushed him away.

“ I’m a man!” Toshiya making himself clear to Kaoru.

Kaoru felt relaxed as he thought Toshiya was rejecting him again. He gives a grin and push Toshiya onto the sofa whispering to Toshiya before he starts his invasion to Toshiya again. “ I also a man…”

Both of them melted in their passion kisses. The longing for one another, and now everything had a start again. “ I love you!”


Miyabi and Kyo was standing downstairs of Toshiya’s apartment. They were now freezing cold but was still bouncing happily around. “ Yeah, one day tour with Kaoru!” Miyabi exclaimed.

“ No, it should be staying at his apartment for the whole knowing his everything!” Kyo argue.

“ No… it should be…”

“ NO! It should be...”


Back upstairs at Toshiya’s apartment.

They were both naked now, Kaoru was busy exploring his now lover’s beautiful body but seem that Toshiya was more interested in knowing why Kaoru still love him when he know that Toshiya is a man.

“ Why Kaoru?”

Kaoru wanted to enter into Toshiya but Toshiya just keep on asking. “ Because my first lover was also a man.” Kaoru answer impatiently hoping that this answer will satisfy his lover but…

“ HUH!!! >__< Don’t touch me!”

“ Toshiya!!??” >__^;;” Kaoru’s manhood was now in full length.

Toshiya pouted.

“ Toshiya!?”


Seem like Kaoru would have hard time to go again with this stubborn lover!! ^__^


Finish: 24/03/2002

back to deg fics page 3