by Waru

Part One

I have known you for so long
I met you in the bus sometime ago
And talked with you
You told me all
About god and the world
And I guess there it happened.
      ( Nicole 'I'm feeling something you don't feel' )
 

*

      He watched Kaoru's head lower to the sheets of paper, laying
across the table, and studying them with great interest. His nose
crinkled and his eyebrows narrowed as his companion pulled the sheets
closer, slightly humming the notes along, getting to know the sound
of the composition.

      "What do you think?", he asked fearfully. He hadn't composed
something more 'him' for years and was a bit afraid of their leader's
opinion. Now, the reminding silence was about to drive him crazy.

      "Hmmm..."

      [Hmmm?? What is that supposed to mean?] "Nandesu ka?"

      Kaoru tilted his head upwards and smiled at his nervous
friend. "It's beautiful Shinya-kun!"

      "It is....?"

      "Hai!"

      Relief started to wash over the young drummer and a bright (
and a rare one too ) smile made it's way to his lips.  "Domo
arigatou! I'm glad you like it Kaoru-san!"

      "Kaoru likes _what_?", an familiar voice spoke up.

      Shinya cringed inwardly and his face fell noticeable. He'd
recognized this voice even if they would have been in a huge crowd of
chatting people. How could he not? This voice was teasing him,
hunting him 'til his dreams were filled with the image of it's owner
again and again. Dreams about a smiling and loving Die, caressing him
and cuddling him close. They'd gone so far that he could almost feel
the warmth radiating from the other's strong body, feel the tickling
sensation of lasting kisses on his white porcelain skin and taste the
salt of the other's lips.

      [Yameteya Shinya! You are a MAN and he's a MAN for goodness
sake! Don't forget that you baka!]

      But still.....

      "Earth to Shin-chan, are you in there?"

      Blushing furiously the petite drummer snapped back to
reality, seeing his two friends and bandmates doubling over for
laughing at his red face. "Stop it...."

      "What did you _think_ about Shin-chan?", Die wanted to
know. "Could it be that little Shin-chan has grown up and finally
shows an interest in a G I R L?"

      "IIE!" Shinya refused hastily. _Too_ hastily for them to
believe. Sadly he lingered his eyes to the ground as the two started
to laugh again and clenched his fists. [What would I give if it
really WAS a girl....but....it's not like I've fallen for him, right?
It's just lust. Yeah, that's it, I lust after him.....has nothing to
do with emotions or stuff like that.............I hope......]

      "Geez Shin-chan, don't be so shy, tell us!"

      "Yeah come ON Shinya-kun, we want to know which type of girl
you like!"

      "......."

      Die smirked evilly. "Maybe Shin-chan is afraid we snap her
away if he tells us!"

      "Iie! I told you already there's no girl!"

      "See?" The guitarist smirked even wider and patted Shinya's
shoulder in an attempt to loosen him up, whilst bending down to his
ear and whispering, "But Shin-chan you should KNOW we won't do that!
Your girl's save!"

      "Die stop it!", the drummer said, backing away from the
closeness which made his heart go crazy. "I'm with no girl so shut
up!"

      "Aww.....still afraid, aren't ya Shin-chan? But okay, we'll
forget it for now, nee Kaoru-kun?"

      Kaoru nodded amused, remaining silent. He'd seen the
mischievous glimmer in Die's dark eyes and knew that he was up to
something. After all it _was_ strange that Die would leave Shinya in
piece for once. [Poor Shinya....]

      Uncertainly light hazelnut-brown eyes stared into dark black
ones.  "Well........domo arigatou Dai-san!", Shinya said politely,
unsure if he should believe the older man or not.

      "Doo itashi mashite Shin-chan, doo itashi mashite!"



      Two hours later, he and the guitarist were walking home
together and Shinya knew he shouldn't have believed the guitarist,
for he was teasing him with questions about his 'girlfriend' again.
[Why does it have to be me?] Sighing he shook his head once again no.
[Dear Kami-sama, let him stop already! I don't know how much I can
bear!] And that was right. He didn't know how much he could take if
not shouting the truth. But what _was_ the truth?

      "I'm _not_ sprung over a girl Daisuke and you _know_ that
damned well!" [Well, at least _that_ was true!]

      "Yeah, yeah suuuuure Shin-chan! Would you mind telling me
then why you have been spaced out earlier?" Die asked curiously,
trying to get something out of the closed-up Shinya.

      "Umm.....because.......well......"

      "I'm listening?"

      ".........."

      Triumphantly the larger man begun to laugh. "See? I _knew_
it!"

      "No, it's not that Die, really........I.....I just can't
tell......."

      The other man suddenly stopped, staring at his friend
strangely. "You....don't trust me......nee Shinya?"

      Taken off guard the drummer flushed. "Sure I do, but......."

      Die gave a sarcastic laugh, ruffling his now chin length hair
in embarrassment. "No you don't and I can't blame you
Shinya............after all I always tease or make fun out of you,
nee?"

      "Die......"

      "Iie Shinya, it's okay, I understand pretty well!" Die smiled
sadly, his eyes cast down. [As long as we know each other I've always
been an asshole to you........I can't seriously think that you'll
believe me or trust me like you would with the others, right? I'm not
angry Shinya, I understand.......really!]

      "......." [I don't think you do Die......I don't think you
do..]

      "Well, come on, it's getting late and I still have a date to
prepare for!"

      "A...a date......?", he stammered. [A date?] Die had a date?
Well, of course he had a date. Die wasn't shy nor did he have this
strange feelings towards other men ( at least not that Shinya knew ),
so why should he stay alone in a beautiful night like these? [Geez
Shinya, you sure are innocent! You know perfectly well that Die had
had many dates before and that this one probably won't be his last!]
The thought however stabbed right into him and he paled noticeably.

      "Yeah, with Keiko-chan, ya know this cute girl from.......no
wait, you haven't been with us in that new club in minato-ku, nee?
Anyways, she's very cute and damned sexy...hehe!", Die explained
cheerfully, before giving his friend one last encouraging smile and
vanishing in the street where he lived.

      [So he's with a girl.........oi Shinya! Did you think it
would be a guy? Of course it's a pretty, sexy girl with all her
curves in the right place!] The young man bit his lip as he started
to walk towards his home too. [His last sentence........'you haven't
been with us, nee?'.......what should that mean? Maybe I should go
out more often with them........maybe.......]

      Sadly he entered his apartment, immediately stepping out of
his shoes and taking off his coat. After pouring him some green tea
with sakura blossom flavour he plopped down on his knees to watch a
bit TV. Oricon charts, to be exact. But unfortunately, he couldn't
concentrate on them. His thoughts always drifted back to the crimson
haired guitarist and his date.  [Fuck......stop thinking about him!
Hear me? Quit it!.........I wonder what they do right
now.......argh.......kissing maybe.....shimatta........forget it!]

      Shinya sighed and cuddled his dog, who'd just woken up from
it's soundless sleep and forced itself to it's owner to greet
him.  "Oh puppy.....you are so lucky, ya know? You haven't any
problems with that....love thing........I wish I could be a
dog........."

      Puppy only stared at his beautiful feminine owner, it's big
eyes widening in confusion. [He thinks I don't know about love and
it's pain? What does he think I am? A robot or a puppet?] For one
minute it remained silent, then it sweatdropped mentally. [Oh
well......just because my name's Puppy.....] After Puppy had worked
over that fact he started to bark, licking it's owner's face,
tickling him with it's rough tongue and causing the young man to
laugh slightly. [At least he's laughing] the dog thought proudly.

      "Puppy! Stoooop *laugh*! That *laugh* tickles!"

      [Stop? Naaaaaaw, you aren't serious Shinya-sama, nee? I won't
stop the fun right now!] And the licking and tickling went ahead
until Puppy itself was out of breath and curled into a tight ball
beside it's master, soon snoring softly.

      Gasping for air, an huge grin on his face Shinya lay on the
ground, feeling happy and light for once. It had been a while since
he'd last enjoyed playing with his dog so much and it'd been long ago
since he had had the time to do that. But now, he watched his little
dog sleep, listening to it's sounds and feeling a big love raise in
his heart for his pet.  It really fit the saying 'The best friend
you'll have in your life is a dog'.  If he needed comfort or a little
warmth, he could be sure that Puppy was there for him and he was glad
he could be there for Puppy too.  Slowly, he drifted off into peace-
full slumber, dreaming from Puppy's, certain Guitarist's and a pretty
ugly girl he'd gotten to knock dead.




      Tiredly he managed to crack open one eye, closing it not one
second after the bright light hit  him like a rock. Where was he? And
_what_ did he do there? "Fuck!", he cursed, finally getting to open
his eyes, shielding them with his hands.

      [.....blue wall.......huge window.....not my apartment,
that's for sure!] Die groggily sat up, groaning as his head throbbed
with the motion. He let his gaze wander through the room he was in
and finally noticed he wasn't alone. Right beside him, stretched out,
lay a naked body, obviously feminine. After some passing moments he
remembered. Sure, that was Keiko-chan whom he'd dated yesterday. They
had gone out to dinner and afterwards she'd suggested to go to her
apartment to have some 'tea'. Well, having 'tea' was definitely
something he enjoyed and so he'd agreed. Die sighed and carefully
stood up, trying not to wake the young women, searching for his
clothes. After he'd found them he put them on and decided to leave.
He always had been uncomfortable if his lover's had woken up and saw
him leave. They didn't understand.

      [Can I blame them? Of course they don't understand you Die,
you don't even understand yourself!], he thought as he walked out of
the house in the refreshing air. [Why doesn't it feel right to me to
sleep with this girls? Why? Because I leave them in the
morning?........no, I didn't leave them before I got this
feelings........what _are_ this feelings exactly?]

      Opening his own apartment he went in and closed the door
softly. Taking care of his shoes and jacket he strolled over in his
little kitchen preparing himself some coffee whilst nagging on some
rice crisp. As the coffee was ready, he poured himself a cup and
headed for his bed to enjoy the last few minutes before he needed to
go to practice.  Oh yes, practice.....where he would meet....

      "Shin-chan..."

      He smiled as he thought about the feminine drummer glancing
at him angrily, his eyes glittering full with energy and his mouth
pouting. Shinya definitely was cute when he was mad.  And now that
Shinya had a crush on some girl, it was easy to find something to
tease the younger man. Die's lips immediately curved into a broad
grin. He was happy for his friend, finally to find someone,
but........strangely somewhere deep he felt sad about it, too. Maybe
because he was the only one being single then. He sighed deeply,
drank his last sip and hurried over to his wardrobe searching for
something to wear.

      "No.....iie.....not over my dead body......I'm _not_ crazy am
I?...........YES!", he muttered between his breath, finally choosing 
some pants and shirt to put on and hastily making his way over  to
practise.

      Storming into the studio room he flashed his friends one of
his best smiles and greeted them with an cheerful, "Ohayou!"

      "Osu Die-kun!"

      "Long night Die?"

      "Hey guitar-man, did you see my scorpions?!"

      "Ohyaou gozaimasu Die-san!"

      Die grinned amused, mentally shaking his head over his
strange friends. "Osu leader-sama! Hai Toshiya-kun, long night, iie
Kyo-kun, I didn't see your scorpions thank God, Shin-chan why so
polite today?"

      "Don't call me that Die-san, you _know_ I don't like that at
all!", Shinya said pouting. [Long night, huh? So he did have _fun_
with this chick........]

      The guitarist chuckled. "Hai, I know Shin-chan but the name
fits you!"

      "IIE!"

      "Hai!"

      "......"

      "Say Shin-chan, how's your little crush?"

      "DAISUKE!" Now the petite drummer wasn't petite anymore,  he
was fuming and embarrassed like hell. "You know there's no girl!"

      "Shinya has a _crush_? Tell us Die-kun!", Toshiya cut in, big
brown chocolate eyes widening.

      "IIE! I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH!" Shinya hissed crossing his arms
in front of his chest, glaring at the guitarist.

      "Oh well......Shin-chan yesterday..... sorta..... spaced
out....", Die told the others, laughing at Shinya's red face.

      "Honto ni?", Kyo asked stunned. "And why do you think it's a
girl thing?"

      "'Coz he denied it rather hotly afterwards Kyo-baka!", Kaoru
replied.

      "Oh..."

      "That's not true!"

      Die turned to the young drummer, grinning madly. "Shin-chan
come on tell us already!"

      "FUCK YOU!", Shinya shouted angrily, ready to kill Die in
that moment. [Why does he need to pick on me? It's
mean!......Oh....how did I get myself into that?]

      "........."

      "Umm......I guess we better should start practice nee?" Kaoru
suggested, seeing the drummers murderously expression and the other
man's surprised  one. "After all we _do_ have a new song to practice,
right Shinya-kun?"

      "A new song?"

      "Hai, Shinya-kun wrote this one, Kyo-kun you do the lyrics
nee?"

      "Aye, Aye Leader-sama!", Kyo joked.

      "Shin-chan wrote an song?" [About his mysterious girl?] Die
pondered.

      "Yes I did, although you don't seem to believe I can do that
Die-san!"

      "Hey, I never said that Shin-chan!" , Die immediately
refused. "Why'd you think I don't believe you can write songs? I know
you can, very well to that!"

      Shinya remained silent, his eyes staring at his feet in
sudden interest. [He actually _asks_ me that? He didn't say he liked
my songs before now! How am I to believe him that one? After all he's
always joking and teasing me...........even when he doesn't want to
he's hurting me...........]

      "Shin-chan, are you mad at me?"

      He chuckled ironically. "Iie Die-san, why should I? You just
tease the hell out of me for no matter at all........so why should I
be _mad_ at you?"

      Unbelieving the crimson haired man stared at his bandmate.
[He's really mad? Fuck......he didn't get mad before, just
angry.......oh why can't I keep quite for once?] "I'm sorry Shinya,
really I am! I didn't wanted to hurt you, gomen nasai!"

      "It's alright Die-san, let's start practise nee?" [He didn't
wanted to hurt me? Die......you never do anything else!]

      "Well......if you think so......"

      "Hai!"

      Kaoru sighed happily. It was about time they could start with
the new song! He quickly showed them their notes and soon the room
was filled with music, mixed with some snoring sounds because of Kyo
who'd fallen asleep once again. ( ZZZZZZzzzzzzz  >_<;; )

to be continued

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