Love is an infectious
Nobody knows, when it will catch you.
( Anatole France )
"Wait up for me Shin-chan !",
Die yelled, jogging to catch
the younger man, who was walking down
the street, not once turning
around to wait for him. [Geez, what
is he in a bad mood today!]
Finally he reached him and took him
by his arm, glaring at him with
reproachful eyes. "Why didn't ya
"Could it have to do
with......a girl?" Die grinned
mischievously, waiting for the other
man to explode after hearing his
"FOR HEAVENSSAKE NO!" Shinya
growled in rage, his eyes
burning with an mysterious spark.
"Okay, okay, calm down Shin-chan!
I was just kidding!"
"VERY funny Die-san!", the
drummer answered sarcastically. "I
nearly laughed me to death!"
Die just continued to grin,
tightening his hold onto Shinya's
arm and pulling him closer, his
heartbeat suddenly speeding up and a
warmth spreading out inside his
body. His voice was dripping with
desire, he hadn't known was existing,
as he bend over to whisper into
Shinya's ear huskily. "You really
have a bad temper Shin-chan.....!"
Shinya, too, was fiddling with
his emotions. The feeling of
being so close to the object of
desire was nearly too much to bear.
For some seconds his mind and desire
was fighting, then he pulled
away roughly, turning his back to the
other man, breathing
fast. "Leave me alone Die.......just
Eyes going wide by that remark,
he loosened his grip on
Shinya's arm, letting go. An strange
pain throbbing in him, making
his face fell and his black orbs go
dull. [He hates me, doesn't he?
And........really, I can't blame him
for that, nee? Maybe I was
overdoing the whole teasing........]
Surprised, the young drummer
heard some shuffling sounds and
then some footsteps hitting the
hardening asphalt. He was gone.
Softly humming the new songs
melody, he entered his
apartment. He was happy, after all
they all seemed to enjoy his work
and the practice had gone well, too.
He was glad, wasn't he?
Okay.....so he wasn't utterly happy.
The conversation with Die had
made him.......sad? Well, he didn't
know the exact word to describe
how he felt about it, but.....he
wasn't joy-full about it for sure.
[Did I hurt him?....I wonder why he
left.....usually he would have
laughed at me and stayed! What the
fuck was wrong with him
[Maybe I should call him and
tell him that I wasn't being
serious.........but then.....I have
been.....I wouldn't have survived
if I would have been in his embrace
for one more second!]
"Holy shit!", Shinya mused
quietly, walking over into the
kitchen to get himself something to
What was it with him? Did he
get gay all of the sudden?
Hastily he throw that thought away.
Then what turned him into jell-o
when he was near Die? What made him
think nasty things and get all
aroused anytime he would hear the
guitarist's name? After all, people
had talked behind his back.....
'He's frail for a
'......Shinya, sure is feminine
'....Are you sure he
isn't.....well....from the other side?'
Oh yes, he remembered each word
of their talks. They, his
parents and their friends, thought he
wouldn't listen, but he'd heard
it all. And he knew his father wasn't
very glad about his feminine
looks. For some time, he wasn't
either. That time he'd thought about
gaining more muscles with drumming,
which became more as his hobby in
no time at all. And there he was, a
beautiful, feminine drummer. The
drumming hadn't worked like he'd
wanted it in the first place.
[Am I....no! I'm _not_ gay you
hear me?.......but, what is it
then?.....I've always been more
feminine than male....is that
supposed to show something?], Shinya
thought, finishing his glass of
water in one gulp, his eyes staring
at one point in the air. [I do
even scream in horror movies like
some weak girl! Fuck!]
An ringing sound made him snap
out of his thoughts. Turning
in the direction the ringing came
from he spotted the black mobile
phone and pressed the button.
"Yes?", he asked a bit
startled, he hadn't expect someone to
call. Then he pouted as he recognized
the voice on the other side of
"Kyo-kun, what is that supposed
to mean, I'll surely say no
but you thought you ask anyways?"
Shinya sighed as he listened to
the quiet crazy explanations
of the blond vocalist, sometimes
nodding softly. "Hai Kyo-kun, I'll
"NO, it isn't a joke! Kyo-kun.......are
you still there?
Kyo?", concerned about his bandmate
he listened closer in the mobile
phone, hearing some strange noises,
then the shorter man was speaking
again. He breathed out relieved and
smiled inwardly. "Geez Kyo-kun,
is it THAT much a surprise I'm coming
along for a little
clubbing?.......well, don't answer
that......which time and
where......yes, I'll be ready on
time! Ja ne!"
After he'd hung off the phone
an huge smile crawled on his
face. But, as soon as it came, it
left, horror spreading through
Shinya's veins. "WHAT AM I GOING TO
WEAR?" (AN:....>_< )
Completely nervous, the drummer
mad dashed to his closet,
ruthless opening the doors and
cupboards, pulling out his clothes,
trying them on, angry tossing them
off, until he found what he was
looking for. The perfect dress.
Smiling again he made his way
towards the bathroom, searching
in his make-up-box for the right
utensils and applying them. Finished
he took a good look in the mirror and
his smile grew wider. The dark
eye make-up brought out his beautiful
hazelnut brown eyes and the
tight blue jeans matched with his
glittering black sleeveless-shirt
completely. Yes, he really looked
dashing tonight. Now, only he
needed to get his fluffy coat and
wait for Kyo to appear.
[I can't wait to see
"Kyo, you can't be serious!"
Die exclaimed, finishing his
last gulp of sake.
"Why not, Die-kun?", the
vocalist asked, bashing his
The guitarist groaned. "Because
we had a fight earlier and
I'm _sure_ he doesn't want to see me
"Demo Die-kun, you'll see him
otherwise too! And, ya know,
maybe you can use the time you need
to get him here, to talk with
"Pretty please Die-kun!",
offering an cute smile.
"Thank's Die-kun, I knew you'd
[What am I thinking? I can't
possibly have agreed to
that........?! Oh no....I'm going to
die.....Die is going to die, how
funny......] Growling slightly the
guitarist walked towards the
entrance of the club they were in and
headed for the parking lot.
Reaching his car, he fumbled with the
key's, opened it and sat in,
shifting for the right position. He
stuck the key in and turned it,
starting the engine, then he
straightened his seatbelt, breathing in
one last time before driving to
He was being nervous. Again.
But it was just Shinya, wasn't
it? The young man he'd known for so
many years now. Standing in front
of the apartment door he was unsure
about knocking or not. Die hung
his head and finally heaved one hand
about to knock as all of the
sudden the door was opened. Surprised
he forgot to stop the motion of
his hand and knocked on one's head.
"Itai!", a voice shouted.
Die's head shot up, his face
reddening. "Sh-shinya!", he
stammered. "Gomen nasai, I didn't
Shinya's breathing had stopped
as he saw, who it was in front
of him. [Die?.....what is he doing
here?....could it be
that.......ohhh.....KYO!] "It's okay
Die.......I suppose you're here
to pick me up?", he asked, trying to
sound calm, whilst his heart was
beating against his ears.
Just now, the guitarist could
take a good look at Shinya and
his eyes widened. [He
looks........beautiful...oh my god.....I knew
that Shin-chan is pretty, he showed
it in the videos, interviews and
never seen him in casual clothes
looking that stunning!]
"Huh?.....oh, yes, come on
Shin-chan, and sorry again, I
didn't mean to hit you!", Die chocked
out, tearing his gaze away from
Shinya and trying to stop the sudden
desire who shot trough him like
Disappointed by Die's
Shinya narrowed his eyebrows.
"Alright, alright......just let's go,
nee?", he answered a little sour.
"Yeah....", Die said and
started to walk down the steps of
the house, close behind him Shinya
followed. [I'm going crazy.....],
the guitarist thought helplessly.
Some moments later the drummer
forced himself to break the
uncomfortable silence. "Say
"In the club, talking with
Kaoru-kun!", he replied opening
the door and stepping out, holding it
for Shinya. The fresh and clear
night-air was heaven for his hot
senses, he recognized relieved.
"Oh....I see.......so, he send
"Are you disappointed?"
"I thought maybe you're still
angry with me.....?" [Say no,
"Iie, Die-san........I'm not, I
wanted to excuse myself, I
was behaving rude earlier, I'm sorry
Die!", Shinya admitted and bowed
politely, his face expressions-less.
"You're saying sorry to _me_?
Shinya, _I_ need to be sorry,
not you! I was teasing you and
you.....just reacted.......you had
every right to be rude with me
".......if you say so...."
Die nodded. "Sure. And I'm
sorry for teasing you earlier,
it's just......a bad habit I guess
that when I see you I tease......I
don't mean it!"
Reaching Die's car and opening
it, the two men went in and
strolled out of the parking lot,
making their way to the club. Shinya
was quiet at first, then sighed. "I
know that Die-san, but it just
makes me to loose my temper."
"Shin-chan......I promise I'll
try to quit the teasing!", Die
whispered more to himself, whilst
they passed some restaurants and
shops, finally reaching their club.
Parking in front of the entrance,
they got out of the car and went in,
where they were greeted with
Shinya smiled to each of his
friends and took his place near
Toshiya, Die sat himself near Kyo.
"See Die-kun, I told you he
wouldn't be offended with you
picking him up, nee?", Kyo said and
laughed at Die's embarrassed face.
"Nani?", he asked innocently,
bashing his eyelashes.
The others giggled amused as
Die, still flushed, tried to
strangle their vocalist to death.
Shinya was delighted to see
they were teasing Die for once
and not him, and it made him joy-full
to hear that the other man had
been afraid he would be disappointed
with him picking him up. [So he
does care about me.....I'm
glad.......oh my, he's cute when he's
"May I take your
offer......err.....sir?", an uncertain voice
suddenly made it's appearance.
The drummer looked up and was
greeted with an waitress,
looking rather shy and unsure,
playing with her pencil nervously. He
sighed. How often did that actually
happen? [I'm _male_ for goodness
sake! Don't you see that?] Shinya
nodded. "Sure, I'll have an Ume
Choya, onegai shimasu!"
"Err.....are you....old enough
to drink alcohol....?"
The others snickered.
Shinya could feel the heat in
his face and knew he must be
blushing furiously. And there he'd
thought this whole clubbing would
be a good idea. [Great
Shinya.....just great!] He coughed a little
"Well.....okay then!", the
waitress assumed and left for
The snickering grew louder and
they burst out laughing madly,
all but Shinya of course, who just
kept his gaze focused on the table.
She...*laugh*......thought you're....*laugh*...a GIRL!"
"Come on Toshiya, that's no
kun is really.......girlish...ya
"I'm _not_ feminine !", Shinya
hissed, but remained ignored
by his band mates. They were too busy
laughing and joking about him
they failed to notice how angry and
hurt he'd gotten by their
comments. They were also too busy to
notice that the young drummer
stood up and turned to leave,
inwardly shaking with rage and on the
brim with tears.
Just as they slowly calmed
down, they saw the empty place on
the table and confusion spread out
into them. Only Die suddenly knew
what must have happened. And he felt
bad about it. [There I am,
promising him not 15 minutes before
I'll stop teasing him and just
now I was laughing my ass off because
some stupid remark.......god
Daisuke, you're an asshole!]
"Where's he gone?", Toshiya
questioned to no one in
particular, furrowing his eyebrows
and pouting slightly.
Die merely sighed and shook his
head. "I .......he must have
been hurt and left!"
They stared at him in
"You think so Die-kun?", Kaoru
asked, silently cursing
himself for not noticing the joking
had hurt Shinya. He was an bad
leader, wasn't he? [Fuck!...Sure he
was hurt.......can you guess what
it must feel like to hear from your
friends you're 'girlish' ?]
"Hai, and......I guess we owe
him an apology...nee?"
Kyo, Toshiya and Kaoru agreed
with him in that point for
sure, all feeling guilty like hell. "Hai!"
[Girlish.......I'm girlish am
I?] Shinya sighed and stroked
some of his hair out of his beautiful
face. The night breeze was
definitely wonderful, fresh and
clear. He was walking down the road,
passing some cars and shops on his
way. [Hai, I am.....feminine and
fucking girlish......beautiful they
say.....I don't want to be
beautiful....why can't I be
[Handsome, attractive and sexy
Die.........oh why can't I be
[........shit.....why does he hunt my
thoughts?] Clenching his fists he
marched towards his living-area,
his thoughts whirling around. [Hell!
Although I look like a girl, I
am a MAN! Don't forget that you
idiot! You're a man and men aren't
allowed to love men...........wait, I
don't love him! We've discussed
that before, nee? I lust after him,
that's not the
same!..........but, men aren't
allowed to lust after men
too!.....shimatta....what am I going
He finally got to his apartment
and opened it. Stepping
inside he let his coat carelessly
fall to the ground, got out of his
shoes and walked over to his futon,
where he laid down and stared up
in the dark for what seemed like
hours. He hadn't turned on the
light. And finally......after the
whole fighting against it, he let
his tears fall. Silently, unseen.
[Who do I fool?......I knew it
Shifting, he curled himself up
into an ball, shaking with
emotions. Yes, he'd known it all
along. His quiet sobbing was the
only sound in his apartment, beneath
his loudly beating heart.
[.......Die will never
understand........will never feel the
[And here I am sobbing like a
Realizing what he'd thought, he
gave a bitter smile. Well, he
wasn't a girl, but......heartbroken
he was. He'd hidden it, deep
inside of him. Trying to fool
himself. But some piece of his mind had
[I'm in love with Die.......]