|My Destiny, My Destination
1997. A year of hard work.
Glay was reaching to be one of the tops of Japan. We were always busy but we enjoyed every minute of our work. I had never realized life could be so great, so great.
As for my so-called-family-life... I know this is nonsense, but who told
you that life needs to make any sense?
I'll never forget that day.
"Guys... I got something to tell you..."
I gathered the 3 before our photo shooting one morning.
"What? You're going to be a father again?"
Takuro said jokingly, and the other 2 laughed. Yet I didn't. What should
I say? I felt terribly embarrassed as I didn't expect they would find the
"You mean... You really are going to be a father again...?"
I looked up and shrugged, then flashed them a smile and nodded.
Hisashi suddenly gasped as he dropped the paper cup of hot coffee in his hand. Just before we could react he flashed us a smile and dashed out of the room.
The 2 dumbfounded guys gazed back at me as the door was closed. I looked back at them, wondering how they were going to react.
"Ometedou!!! Teru you're so damn lucky!!!"
The guys suddenly cheered and laughed, startling me a little. I smiled
and thanked them, and the guys ran to inform the other staff.
"Tono... You okay...?"
I couldn't control myself from entering the washroom. I was shunning him,
but on the other hand, I knew I still care a lot about him.
He didn't look at me as he spoke, his hand under the running water seemed to be a little swollen.
"I'll get you some medicine..."
I dashed out of the washroom, trying to calm myself down. I didn't know why, but I felt extremely guilty in front of him.
He was still keeping his hand under the tap when I came back with a first aid kit. I could tell it must be very painful for him to do so. I knew he was the kind of people who preferred leaving his cuts and wounds untreated than to bother about it.
I know. I know him too well...
"Let me check?"
I asked softly as I held out my hand to him. He didn't react, as if he
didn't hear me. I didn't bother to ask again but grabbed his wrist and hold
it in front of me.
He whispered while I was applying some menthol cream on the swell,
thinking it could relief his pain.
I whispered back and continued my actions, but my heart was thumping so hard that I worried if he could hear it as well. The vision of his hand blurred slightly...
I cleared my throat and forced out a smile when I looked up at him.
He didn't react. That means "yes".
I held his hand against my lips as I blew on it, knowing the cooling
effect of the cream would work better that way.
"Haha... Leave that to my girlfriend."
I looked up at him, shocked.
"Sorry I haven't told you guys yet. I thought it would be better not to tell you until our relationship stabilized."
He didn't look at me as he spoke.
I could only manage this word from my trembling lips.
"Sorry I had been fooling you around. I didn't know it would affect you so much. I was just trying to revenge on you for leaving that night, winning our game. All along I thought you still love me so I played those nasty tricks on you. Sorry."
He looked at me and noticed I didn't seem to be trying to say anything. He continued.
"That time, your long, beautiful hair attracted me. It was exactly the same as the girl I had always loved. Until I met this new girlfriend, of course..."
New girlfriend...? Who's going to believe in this?
"That day in your apartment, perhaps I drank too much and said something that made you misunderstand..."
Too much? Perhaps he didn't remember, but I could still tell how I felt when he drank the one and only can of beer in my apartment... That idiot...
"You were treating me quite well, so I kept on lying to you that I love you. In those days, who doesn't want to have a person who treats himself well?"
You lied that you love me...? You never told me you love me... Never...
"The day you walked out of my apartment it only meant another game was over. Forgive me please. I was young, so were you. But now we're no longer children... You even have 2 kids..."
I shook my head, stopped him from making up more unnecessary lies.
I couldn't control my tears again. They fell helplessly down my cheeks.
That was the only method of settling our affair I had been waiting for...
Not by winning or losing, no. It was just the 3 simple words which he had
never spoken with his lips...
to part 12
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