Chapter 11

1997. A year of hard work.

Glay was reaching to be one of the tops of Japan. We were always busy but we enjoyed every minute of our work. I had never realized life could be so great, so great.

As for my so-called-family-life... I know this is nonsense, but who told you that life needs to make any sense?
After that night's incidence, my wife was pregnant again. I couldn't find any reason to be upset, yet this child, although he wasn't borne yet, did make the relationship between me and my wife much more complicated.
Though my work schedule was fully packed, I tried my very best to take care of my wife and look after our boy myself. I felt I had already owned her too much to excuse myself from my responsibilities.

~

I'll never forget that day.

"Guys... I got something to tell you..."

I gathered the 3 before our photo shooting one morning.

"What? You're going to be a father again?"

Takuro said jokingly, and the other 2 laughed. Yet I didn't. What should I say? I felt terribly embarrassed as I didn't expect they would find the news funny.
They noticed my expression and stopped laughing, looking at each other.

"You mean... You really are going to be a father again...?"

I looked up and shrugged, then flashed them a smile and nodded.

"Itai..."

Hisashi suddenly gasped as he dropped the paper cup of hot coffee in his hand. Just before we could react he flashed us a smile and dashed out of the room.

The 2 dumbfounded guys gazed back at me as the door was closed. I looked back at them, wondering how they were going to react.

"Ometedou!!! Teru you're so damn lucky!!!"
"We must celebrate right??"

The guys suddenly cheered and laughed, startling me a little. I smiled and thanked them, and the guys ran to inform the other staff.
Ironically, I was everyone's topic but I was left alone. I stood up and quietly left the room.

~

"Tono... You okay...?"

I couldn't control myself from entering the washroom. I was shunning him, but on the other hand, I knew I still care a lot about him.
I opened the door quietly as I asked, my heart thumping hard in embarrassment.

"Hmm? Yah..."

He didn't look at me as he spoke, his hand under the running water seemed to be a little swollen.

"I'll get you some medicine..."

I dashed out of the washroom, trying to calm myself down. I didn't know why, but I felt extremely guilty in front of him.

He was still keeping his hand under the tap when I came back with a first aid kit. I could tell it must be very painful for him to do so. I knew he was the kind of people who preferred leaving his cuts and wounds untreated than to bother about it.

I know. I know him too well...

"Let me check?"

I asked softly as I held out my hand to him. He didn't react, as if he didn't hear me. I didn't bother to ask again but grabbed his wrist and hold it in front of me.
He was a little startled as I held his hand. But none of us said anything. I wiped his hand dry gently and checked the injury. Luckily, it wasn't too serious.

"Ometedou..."

He whispered while I was applying some menthol cream on the swell, thinking it could relief his pain.
I paused my actions in surprise, but didn't look up. He didn't say anything else.

"Arigatou..."

I whispered back and continued my actions, but my heart was thumping so hard that I worried if he could hear it as well. The vision of his hand blurred slightly...

I cleared my throat and forced out a smile when I looked up at him.

"Still hurts?"

He didn't react. That means "yes".

I held his hand against my lips as I blew on it, knowing the cooling effect of the cream would work better that way.
That was when he jerked his hand away from me. I looked up at him in surprise.

"Haha... Leave that to my girlfriend."

I looked up at him, shocked.

"Sorry I haven't told you guys yet. I thought it would be better not to tell you until our relationship stabilized."

He didn't look at me as he spoke.

"Oh...?"

I could only manage this word from my trembling lips.
I was shocked, not for his words. But for I never expected him to lie. Such a terrible lie.

"Sorry I had been fooling you around. I didn't know it would affect you so much. I was just trying to revenge on you for leaving that night, winning our game. All along I thought you still love me so I played those nasty tricks on you. Sorry."

He looked at me and noticed I didn't seem to be trying to say anything. He continued.

"That time, your long, beautiful hair attracted me. It was exactly the same as the girl I had always loved. Until I met this new girlfriend, of course..."

New girlfriend...? Who's going to believe in this?

"That day in your apartment, perhaps I drank too much and said something that made you misunderstand..."

Too much? Perhaps he didn't remember, but I could still tell how I felt when he drank the one and only can of beer in my apartment... That idiot...

"You were treating me quite well, so I kept on lying to you that I love you. In those days, who doesn't want to have a person who treats himself well?"

You lied that you love me...? You never told me you love me... Never...

"The day you walked out of my apartment it only meant another game was over. Forgive me please. I was young, so were you. But now we're no longer children... You even have 2 kids..."

I shook my head, stopped him from making up more unnecessary lies.
I opened the door, once again, I left.
But this time I didn't win. I lose. I gave up. Completely.

I couldn't control my tears again. They fell helplessly down my cheeks.
I wanted to settle our affair, but not this way... Not by a lie, not by neglecting all the happiness we had...
That minute I realized, all these years, I was just waiting for him to say the truth... The 3 words.

That was the only method of settling our affair I had been waiting for... Not by winning or losing, no. It was just the 3 simple words which he had never spoken with his lips...
 

~to be continued~
 

to part 12

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