|My Destiny, My Destination
It was two week after the accident.
When he was still staying the hospital, I visited him frequently with the other guys. But since he went back home, I hadn't do so. Those days everyone was very busy, so it was really hard to find a day which I was free and was able to find someone to accompany me.
That day Takuro said he would go with me after he finished his work, so
we agreed to meet at the entrance of the mansion where his apartment was.
I had prepared everything. Some food, his favourite mags, and things he
needed most - beer and cigarettes.
I was walking towards the meeting place while my cell phone rang.
"Teru? I'm sorry! I'm still at the stadium now... You go visit Hisa
first, I'm coming now."
I wasn't given a chance to protest as Takuro hanged up before I could say
I shouted hesitantly as I pressed the doorbell for the 3rd time.
"Come in! The door isn't locked."
His voice sounded from the inside. My trembling hand reached for the doorknob as instructed, and pushed the door open.
"Hi Teru... Lock the door for me please?"
He was sitting on his couch, smiling at me, sort of embarrassingly, so
"Here... I've brought you something... I mean... I was asked to bring you these things..."
I managed a smile as I handed him the mags, and putting down the bag of stuff on the coffee table in front of him. He glanced through the covers of the mags, then went looking into the bag. I saw him smiled cheerfully at the sight of his favourites.
"Thanks so much Teru! You really know me!"
I turned around to look at him, surprised. I blushed a little, wanted to explain to him that those were things from his other friends, but he spoke again before I did.
"... I mean... You guys really know me..."
A smile was forced on my face. My heart lost a beat at his words. To my
surprise, he didn't embarrass me as usual.
"Ano... Takuro said he's coming later..."
I broke the silence.
Confused, I approached him and handed him his cup.
"I told him not to come."
He didn't reply to my reaction. He sipped his hot tea, and continued what he wanted to say.
"You know those days in hospital... I had nothing to do at night. I
couldn't even drink or smoke... So all I could do was think about this and
I didn't quite get what he was trying to say. Nor I could tell from his expression. He was still gazing at his teacup.
"I've thought a lot... Really a lot..."
He sighed. I could feel the air around him started to grow dense.
"And I've make up my mind... There's something I must tell you Teru..."
He let the suspense grow. Slowly he looked up at me, with an expression I didn't know what it meant. My heart lost a beat in anxiety.
I urged him to go on. I knew no matter what he was going to say, it was going to be shocking. And the longer I had to wait, the more terrified I would be.
"Teru... I -"
"Hisa-chan? Have u closed the windows? I was going to work and it suddenly started to -"
We turned around in surprise as a girl's voice suddenly interrupted his
speech. It was one of the staff I could tell, but I didn't know her well.
It was a few seconds later when she continued the sentence. And only then I realize the noise of raindrops beating on the balcony.
How irritating, how disappointing, how heartbreaking...
"Hi Teru-san! Am I interrupting you 2? I'm leaving... I just come back to take an umbrella."
She broke the unbearable atmosphere with a smile.
"No... I should the be the one leaving..."
The rainwater washed all over me, and cleared my mind. Finally I
If I didn't left him...
Why didn't I realize earlier?
If I didn't let him go...
Why was I so dumb?
If I told him... I love him...
I was a fool.
... When was the rain going to end...?
to part 14
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